The ghosts of christmas
by pinsel90
Summary: Hook has to face his personal ghosts of christmas and he isn't always that happy with it. It's my first story in english so I hope there won't be too many mistakes! The characters and the main story don't belong to me but to the creators of once upon a time. I've just been playing a little with it! Hope you like it! :D Thanks for reading and a mery christmas for everyone! :)
1. Chapter 1

**Part one, or how to survive christmas**

It was almost Christmas. Everyone was decorating every possible thing in town. Christmas songs he had never heard before were echoing through the streets. Even at night Storybrook seemed to glimmer in light. He had never seen anything like that before and he wasn't so sure that he would ever get used to it.

To be honest it was more like he wanted to cut these three days out of time and no one could ever be blaming him for this! Damn! Christmas was the celebration of love and his own one was burried about at least a thousand meters under the sea together with his love and his heart beating out of love. Of course his heart itself was still beating in his chest but right now while everyone was about to celebrate it felt like Milah had taken it with her.

His pain was stronger than ever. He was grieving more than anyone else had ever done before or at least it felt like that. So how was he supposed to stand all this weird people acting strangly nowadays? The answer was frightening plainly: he wasn't! He wasn't going to celebrate it and he wasn't going to be the part of any celebration in this town or anywhere in this world. He would be hiding on his ship. Locking himself up to escape the howl world and ignoring the fact that he was feeling more alone than ever before. It was always like this. Every year.

If it was about this the past 28 years had been a celebration for him. No christmas and on top of it not a single soul asking him to join.

Hook left the streets and choosed a sidewalk so anybody would meet up with him by accident. He had been using this way a lot of times by now. It was perfect because no one knew it since he had made it when he had just arrived in town still hiding with Cora's help.

The day was still early but he decided to enter his cabin on his beloved Jolly Roger and to relax maybe even sleep a little. Maybe it would make everything a little better. And if not he could still try to find out a way to finally get his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin he had been spying on for the day the bastard had shown up on his ship when Cora's spell was broken and his presence was finally revealed to everyone.

But for now he leaned back in his bed and crossed his arms behind his head, cursing Rumpelstiltskin for cutting off his hand because the hook was always in the way while doing that and closing forcefully his eyes.

He could only hear the sound of the sea what was quite refreshing after all those sounds they were listening to in this weird world without magic like they were calling it everywhere. He listened to the sound of the sea till he could identify almost every wave that crashed on the beach of this weird harbour.

"You aren't trying to get you're revenge for Milah but only for yourself!", Emma's voice echoed silently through the sound of the water: "The one who dies is the one who gets away. She has no use of getting revenge on anyone anymore and you know that pretty well. She is only an excuse for you seeking for it because you can't stay the pain anymore. You have never been albe to do so."

He sighed angrily. What did she know of Milah or himself!

"Instead of it you should treasure every single moment you have got in your life because she gave herself in order to save you!"

He turned annoyed on his left side putting his hook under the pillow and trying to cut the Swan girl out of his thoughts. He yawned and listened to the waves again. Its sound was mixing up with the air what he loved on the sea. His eyes got heavier, his breath mixed up with the sound of the air and the water till he didn't know anymore what was what and to who belonged it and than he didn't care about it anymore.

A soft hand caressed his cheek. Someone put his hair so softly out of his face that it was almost hurting so good was the feeling. He pressed his eyes tougher together in order to prevent himself of waking up.

A giggle filled the silence. It was a silent one that he hadn't heared for such a long time. It reminded him of lying on the beach with a bottle of rum next to a fire.; joking, laughing, kissing and loving.

Hook opened his eyes in a hurry and was Killian again. He was lying on Milah's lap looking up into her pretty face that was surrounded by her lovely curls. She was smiling at him while still caressing his hair one hand lying upon the place his heart was beating fast.

He was together with her again. He had her back! The pain and the nastiness were gone. He didn't even care about Rumpelstiltskin or Swan anymore. She was here and that was everything that mattered right now.

Her face slowly turned serious and she was looking down on him in sorrow and disappointment: "You need to let go." It wasn't more than a whisper but it felt like a punch in his face.

"What?", he asked in disbelieve.

"Killian,", she said softly: "This is just a memory. I'm not there anymore so aren't you like you were when we were together. You are dreaming and you know it. But you can't choose to stay within a dream. You need to live for me! For our love and everything it meant to us."

He frowned: "But I'm already trying to achieve it."

"To achieve what?", she asked somehow confused.

"To get revenge on him for what he did to you!", and he was Hook again, standing in front of her and trying to defend his point.

Milah looked at him in anger and sighed: "See? This is exactly why I'm here now!"

"What?"

"You just can't let go!", she answered in a hurry: "That's why you want your revenge. Not for me but only for yourself!"

"You sound just like Swan.", he turned his eyes and shook his head.

"Well, honey in this she is right, definetly.", she said a bit calmer: "You know why I'm here?"

"Because I can't let go?", he joked getting closer to her smirking.

She gave in to him and it was just like old times until she answered him: "It's christmas and you are hiding in here while you're heart is actually aching of lonelyness and sorrow. You are cheating, betraying, using girls, stealing, killing innocent people if one lets you do so. That's not you! Not only. But right now you're behaving like it was all that you are."

Hook frowned. What?

"I'm here to show you around the past, the present and the possible future.", she answered: "Right now I'm just warning you. You will meet ghosts showing you around all this under my control until you finally understand everything. But you won't only like it. It will be tough for you, but there is no way out of it anymore."

Something cracked. He opened his eyes and saw the planks of his Jolly Roger. He sat up and watched around the room, but Milah was gone. He was alone again. Alone in the dark of his pain and his revenge!

He stood up and went on deck to check out what had made this noise. The wind had gotten wilder, the waves had grown that tall that it was almost kicking over the railing at its deepest point. He locked the door in his back carefully and headed to the mainmast to tie it more tightly around.

When he was finished and wanted to get back down on the deck again, he lost grip and fell.

"Hey, wake up!", a voice shouted at him. A voice he could hardly remember. Killian opened his eyes and was confronted with a nose almost as close as touching his own one which was really strange.

"What are you waiting for? We don't have so much time ya know?", said a boy looking straight into his eyes. His feet didn't touch the ground. That was odd.

"Come on! I have to show you so much. We will be really busy! So get up!"

"Who are you?", Killian asked while pleasing the wishes of the little boy that reminded him of someone.

The boy rolled his eyes annoyed: "Man, ya really don't remember me? That's just impossible!"

Killian pressed his eyes a little together and set his head obliquely as if it could help him to remember who was standing in front of him. There had been a bunch of kids in Neverland.

"Oh com'on!", the kid hissed disappointed: "If ya have forgotten me, t'must be worse than I thought!"

There had been only one kid with this kind of behavior in front of him: "Peter?"

"Pan, yes!", his face lightened up: "You finally remember. Was about bloody time!"

"What's going on?", Hook checked his arms and his legs because the last thing he remembered was him falling from the mainmast. But there was not a single fracture or something. Was he dreaming?

He looked the kid up and down. In that case it had to be a nightmare!

"Ya aren't even listening to me.", Pan put his fists in his sides while levitating in front of him. Stupid braggart!

"Well, I could say I was sorry, but actually I'm not."

"Ya wanted to know it."

"Then how about you repeat it shortly?", he checked his Hook. Maybe he could just get rid of him by frightening him and wake up again. At least one thing was clear: this was not real!

Pan stopped floating and stood in front of him while repeating what he had said before in annoyance: "Milah didn't tell ya? Ya'll have kind of an adventure tonight and I'm the first one showing you around. Will be a bunch of work for me, if I look at ya."

Hook frowned: "What?"

"Well, I'm ya first ghost of christmas and I'm the past one because we haven't seen each other for so long."

That was enough! He turned around and headed to his cabin: "You know what? Disappear. I have no time for this!"

He hadn't made even a single step, when Pan appeared in front of him floating again: "Oh no. That won't be working."

"Fine than I'll just get rid of you.", he raised his hook but before he could hit him he had kind of a déjà vu. His Hook was gone before he could hurt the kid and when he finally looked up he found it in Pan's hands who started to play with it.

The kid chuckled: "Trying to kill a ghost? Man ya have a lot to learn!"

Hook rolled his eyes and sighed in disbelieve: "I'm dreaming so I should be able to do so."

Pan faced him in sorrow: "Oh no. T's not a dream. We've a lot to do until ya believe it, I guess."

"And what now?"

"Now we start with you loosing Milah."

He frowned in disbelieve: "I know what happened! I don't need to see this again!"

"Oh but ya do! It's where everything starts."

"I won't come along."

Pan leaned in with floated nearer till they were nose to nose and gave him a huge smile: "What makes ya believe ya'd any choose?"

With this words he grabbed Hooks shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part two, or how to survive with pain crumbling in your heart**

He was feeling ill. He was even sure that he was about to spill. Everything was turning and moving and hurting in his stomach and his head. He looked up to Pan. He was smiling and floating and waiting for him to get a hold on himself again.

Bloody kid. How was he able to stand all this?

"Are ya done?", Pan crossed his hands behind his back and started to bounce on his balls while he was still floating: "Or are ya going to spill? Would be fun."

Hook sighed. What had he done to deserve him? Well… maybe a lot. He stood up again and acted like everything was fine again. He didn't want to give this kid the pleasure of seeing him loosing to him. It was rediculous and he knew it. But it was like a challenge for him.

"So what now?", Hook asked obviously annoyed.

"Look around and ya'll know where we're.", the kid made a sad face. So he really had hoped for him to spill. Stupid brat!

They were still standing on the Jolly Roger's deck but it was a light day and they were surounded be the islands he had wandered together with Milah till Rumpelstitskin had shown up. He looked around and saw his whole crew wandering around, working or just sitting together playing cards and joking around. They were drinking water. Strange. He gave it a thought and remembered what day this had to be. The day Milah died. He hadn't allowed them to drink in the middle of the day since he had met Rumplestiltskin the day before. It had been too dangerous. But in the end it had been of no use.

"So? Do ya know?", Pan asked curious.

"Of course I know. But what now?", he repeated his question in annoyance.

"Now we will watch the last moments between ya and Milah.", he gave him a wink and went to the captain's quarters.

They had been fighting almost the whole night.

Why couldn't she just trust him and leave. It was too dangerous for her.

"Killian.", she had said and had caressed his cheek softly: "Trust me. All he wants is this stupid bean. We don't need it. We will find another way."

"You must not be here when he shows up.", he had growled: "It's to dangerous for you. After all that happened yesterday it's pretty clear that he would be glad to kill you."

Milah had sighed while putting down her hand again. She had been exhausted from their argument of the night before.

"You shouldn't have shown up.", he had pushed forward: "He would have never found you."

"But you would be dead by now!", she had ranted: "I don't want to live without you anymore!"

Killian had stepped closer to pull her into a hug in order to calm her but she had refused: "No. Listen: We have a chance. If he gets what he wants he will just leave us. After all we have heared before one thing is pretty clear. He keeps his words."

He had stepped back again in disbelieve, anger growing within himself again: "Don't tell me you trust him."

Milah had looked at him in surprise: "No. No I don't! But we need to stay together. We must get through this together! I don't want to be seperated from you if I can't be sure that you will be safe and alive if we meet again."

Killian had sighed: "Milah. I'll be stronger and safer if I know that you are safe. And after all you said I should be. Look, I just want to protect you."

Milah had given him this lovely expression she had always shown him if she was stirred but her expression had changed so fast again that he hadn't been sure it had been there: "Killian. That works in both directions. I can't be safe if I'm not with you. I will just do something stupid in the end out of worry. Wouldn't it be the same with you waiting behind?"

Killian had sighed and had hid his eyes behind his hands.

She had stepped closer to lay her hands on his forearms trying to make him face her again: "Wouldn't it be the same with you?"

He had faced her again and he had known that he had lost when he had met her eyes. Of course it would be the same with him.

She had leaned into him to kiss him softly and the kiss had grown stronger just like always.

"She believed in ya love, man.", Pan stated while floating in tailor seat: "Not in Rumplestiltskin."

Hook had went silent since they had started watching this argument. It was painful to see it again. It was even worse when he thought of the next thing to happen.

"Do we need to stay longer?"

"Yes."

"Why?", he didn't look at the kid. He wasn't shure that he wouldn't try to attack him again.

"You need to remember what happened in detail.", Pan stated softly.

Anger grew within him. He turned to face the brat again and was just about to attack him: "I do remember every little thing that happened when he showed up. I see it every night I go to sleep, I see it everytime I think of her and I see it everytime I close my bloody eyes!"

"No.", said Pan more seriously than ever before since he had shown up to annoy him: "You do not."

Hook growled.

"You need not just to remember but to see the moment you decided to become "Hook". You need to let the pain through.", Pan touched his arm carefully and they were standing on deck. Everyone was busy making the ship ready to set sail as early as possible in order to get away from Rumplestiltskin if he would have what he wanted.

"Watch it carefully.", Pan whispered and stepped one step back.

Rumplestiltskin showed up saying something about a family he didn't really care about and facing Milah. She turned around to face his old self and shot him a look. That was where everything stopped.

Hook frowned in confusion and turned to face the brat.

"Watch this carefully.", said Pan: "What do you see?"

He turned to look at it again.

"So?"

"Milah.", he said almost longing in pain.

"That's not what I meant.", Pan walked over to her and pointed a finger to her eyes: "I'm talking of this!"

"Her eyes?"

"No… the look she is giving you.", he said almost angry: "It says: keep out of it. It has got nothing to do with you! You must be carefull. Don't risk your life for something stupid!"

"I didn't do anything.", he defended himself: "I knew what she was telling me and I followed it."

"Yeah, and you regret it every single minute since then.", Pan pointed out: "But what you doesn't understand here is: There had been nothing you could have done! She wanted you to be safe and to live."

Hook sighed: "I am."

"No.", Pan stepped closer till he was able to see every spark in his eyes, what was strange: "You are not living. You are giving up to you're revenge and that is what your little moniker is about.", Pan stated out: "Let's go on."

Hook frowned. That was insane! It had nothing to do with him giving up! He was never giving up!

They started to argue about the kid she had left behind for him and than he suddenly ripped her heart out and squashed it in his hand. He watched himself standing up and trying to follow her into death and listened to Rumplestiltskin refusing to kill him either.

Pan stopped the situation again. It was strange to see him do this over and over again especially since they were watching his past.

"Did you listen to him?", Pan asked: "Did you listen to what they were saying?"

"Do you really ask that?", he felt something getting numb inside himself. He was only focused on the body lying on the planks behind his old self. Her hair that were still in moving through the air of the sea surrounding her.

"Did you ever think of the possibility that she was feeling guilty for her betrayal on her son? That she was feeling sorry for him because she had hurt him so much?"

"I don't care.", he answered in a growling whisper: "She is gone."

"Did you ever think about her not wanting you to interrupt because she didn't want her son to live without a father for he had to live without her?", Pan said softly: "It's true. She didn't want to put you in danger. But she didn't want you to hurt him either. Not because she had any feelings for him but because she was worrying about her son."

"If that was the case, she would have never left him with this.", Hook stated growling even more.

"She knew that he would do anything for that kid. He loved him more than anything else and she had known that. He had loved the kid more than she had done.", he whispered in a hurry in order to prevent him from disturbing him.

Hook was starring at him in disbelieve. To bad he wasn't abel to kill him. Right now he would have taken his time doing it and he would have enjoyed it a lot.

"Don't look at me like this.", Pan declared while waving a finger in front of his eyes obviously enjoying the situation: "I know that look and I tell ya: It's of no use!" He paused for a second: "Don't think I want ya to understand it right know. Will take ya time to do so. But ya need to know."

The kid showed him the moment he took up the Hook and decided to take it for his lost hand. He remembered the sound of blood rushing through his vains that slowly disappeared along with the adrenaline, which had covered up his pain. He had lost everything!

"That's where you burried your pain deep inside under your wish for revenge.", Pan stated more seriously again: "Ya know, when Emma said you were wishing for revenge for yourself… what do ya think about it now, huh?"

Hook frowned: "It's ridiculous."

"No. You aren't wishing for revenge because he killed her but because he stopped you from following her. He was the only one beeing able to kill you around in that moment and he decided to let you grief in pain. He cursed you with this and you didn't even notice."

Pan waited but the captain didn't react even a bit. He was just starring at Milah lying on the planks.

"Come on.", Pan hissed: "Let's go. There is a lot we have to see now."

Hook whispered something.

"What?"

There had been something bothering him right from the start with this strange dream he had had about Milah and him before all this. He hadn't been abel to put a finger on it till now.

"I can't remember the colour of her eyes.", he repeated silently in confusion.

Pan layed a hand on his shoulder: "It's okay. You will remember again. Com'on now."


	3. Chapter 3

**Part three, an entangled story and how it started**

She was still very young with just 10 years but it had been a while that she had almost been adopted the last time. The first family had wanted to make her part of it when she had been just 3 years old. But they had gotten an own child and changed their mind.

With four the next family had shown up but after everything the sozial worker had found out they had even to give up their own four kids.

After that the orphanage she had grown up had been closed and she had been forced to travel to another place. It had taken the ones beeing responsible a lot of time to complete their documents and find another family to adopt her. It had taken them about one and a half year to find an interested family. But they had choosen a boy instead in the end.

After that she had been pushed from one family to another one but no one wanted to keep her. This ended last week! They had been standing in front of her all of a sudden talking with her, joking with her and they had been honest! She was confident about it.

Since that day they had shown up (it had been her 10th birthday) a whole week had past and now she was lying in her new bed within her new bedroom (she could have it all for herself) in her new home! It felt like a dream coming true even though it was still not settled and sealed completely yet. There would be a sozial worker showing up every now and than till her adoption would be finished but she didn't want to think about that at all!

She pressed her face deeper into the soft pillow and pulled the blanket tighter. She was still too excited for all this changes in her life that she could possibly fall asleep. Everything was smelling new and feeling new. She wasn't used to all this yet, but she was happy!

The door opened and someone put his head in: "Emma, is everything okay?"

"Yes."

"It's already late. Don't you wanna sleep?"

"Yes, Amber.", she sounded more tired as she had expected to be: "I will sleep now."

"Okay.", Amber smiled: "Good night."

She left and closed the door again. The room was dark now. Emma turned on her back and looked at the ceiling before she closed her eyes and finally fell asleep.

She heared birds flying around singing their little songs. The air was fresh and a little colder than she had expected when she slowly opened her eyes. The light was blinding her.

A big smile appeared on her face. She had slept so well in her new bed. It was incredible that she could call it like that! Even though it was feeling really hard right now. Strange.

Emma opened her eyes. She was lying under a tree! A tree! She sat up in a hurry and took a look around. She was sitting in a wood dressed in her pyjama. It was unbelievable! How did that happen? Where was everyone? Where was she? What should she do now?

Emma stood up and wanted to go home but she didn't know in which direction she should start walking. Everything was looking the same. She hadn't ever been there before and couldn't remember how she came to this place. She felt panic growing in her chest not knowing what it actually was, burried her face in her hands and cried. Maybe she would find someone if she shouted?

"Hello?", her weak voice rose in panic growing stronger with every scream: "Hello?!" She kept screaming when she started to walk but no one answered.

She had stopped crying and her voice was getting weaker and weaker till almost nothing came out again when she heared the sound of floating water. She was so thirsty and hungry! She ran ahead ignoring the pain in her bare feet and fell on her knees in front of a waterfall. For a moment she could just stare at this beautiful place, but than she crawled closer to the river, put her hands into the cold water that was so clear that she could see the fishes swimming around in it and got water up with her hands to drink it. After that she put her hurting feed into the water, closed her eyes and sighed in relieve.

"Who are you?"

Emma turned around in surprise but there was not anybody around. She frowned, looked down at her feet and screamed. There was a girl in the water to her feet looking at her in confusion: "Stop screaming!"

"Why are you in the river?", Emma asked a little scared: "And where am I?"

"Well,", the young woman leaned back at a rock and put a part of a huge tail fin out of the water (If she had been a human Emma would have said her knees.): "I live in water."

Emma opened her mouth but didn't say anything. She just stared at her.

"I'm a mermaid.", the woman smiled: "My name is Arielle and you are in Neverland. By the way it's rude to starre at others like this."

"Neverland?", Emma said and held back her tears.

"Calm down.", Arielle said softly and leaned forward to take her hands gently into hers: "Everything will be fine again. I'm shure! So how about you telling me your name and how old you are?"

"Emma.", she cried a little unable to get a hold on herself again: "I'm 10."

"Do you know how you got here?"

"No.", Emma sniffed.

The mermaid bit her bottom lip and looked around.

"What are you doing here? I thought mermaids were living in seas not in rivers.", Emma asked when she calmed down a bit again.

Arielle smiled: "I'm actually living in the ozean but I'm here to look for something I promised to get for someone."

"What is it?", Emma asked curious slowly forgetting her own situation like kids sometimes do if they find something more interesting.

"Emma, I don't think it is a good idea to tell you."

"Why not?", she definetly needed to know it now: "I can keep a secret! And I don't know anyone around here to tell anyway."

Arielle made a face like she already had said to much: "It's got nothing to do with keeping a secret. Not at all. It's just too dangerous."

Emma's eyes turned sad again. The mermaid could almost feel the tears coming through again. She sighed: "Okay girl, I'll tell you. But you need to promise me that you won't do something that could put you in danger!"

"I promise!", Emma said a bit too fast and put her right hand upon her left chest.

Arielle leaned back again and sighed while her eyes turned darker: "I've met this….boy…"

"And?"

"I like him a lot but I can't be with him because I can't leave the water."

"Why can't he come to you?"

"He wouldn't survive under water."

Emma looked at her in disbelieve: "So what's the problem. I mean… ew, a boy! Why would you want to be together with a boy?" Boys were stupid and it was weird that she wanted to get close to one. They were always doing stupid things like pulling the girls hair, eating earthworms and pulling the girls arms on their backs if they didn't want them to play in the tree house.

Arielle stared at her for a moment hard thinking. She couldn't possibly tell a 10 years old girl that she wanted to kiss, hug and make love with him.

"Well, ", she started slowly a little nervous: "I want… to play…with him."

"Really?", Emma looked at her not shure if she should believe it.

"Definetly.", Arielle said making herself believe that it was like that.

The mermaid held her breath for a moment. She couldn't believe that she really had said that! From her point of view it had even a bit of a double meaning. Would the kid believe her? Was that even possible?

It was: "Oh, I see… And why are you here now? To meet him?" Emma had already forgotten what she had told her.

"No.", Arielle smiled a little sad: "Remember that I told you I needed to get something for someone? This person made a deal with me. If I'd get him what he needs he will help me to get legs."

"And what does he want to have?"

"It's a shell. My father is hiding it in this river and I need to find it."

"That shouldn't be so hard to do.", Emma said looking around. She had learned a lot about those things and knew that there were no mussels around a river usually: "I could help you."

"You would?", Arielle leaned a bit further with a little smile on her lips before she suddenly changed her mind: "No. I don't want you to get in danger through this."

"We will just look for a shell. How could that possibly be dangerous?"

The mermaid gave it a thought. It wasn't that easy. There were powers that could easily find out who had been in touch with it.

Emma waited for her to make her decision and tried to stay silent really hard, but all of a sudden a growling destroyed the silence.

Arielle looked at her in confusion: "What was that?"

"I don't know.", Emma said honestly.

It growled again. Arielle looked at her stomach: "Are you hungry?"

Emma's tummy rumbled again: "A bit."

"How about this? I'll go and get you something to eat and you stay here and wait for me?"

"Okay.", Emma said a smile reaching her hopeful eyes: "Thank you."

"You're welcome. But promise me, that you will just stay here and that you won't do something dangerous like jumping into the river."

"I promise.", Emma watched her disappearing in the water with a little smile on her lips.

She kept waiting for a moment. It felt like hours. She got bored really fast and stood up to walk around near the place for a bit.

Emma wasn't the type of girl diving into dreams when she got bored. All this was strange. She was sure that she wasn't dreaming. Emma stopped. But wouldn't she believe that everything was real if she was dreaming either? Wouldn't everything feel real? When she had had a nightmare the last time, it had been feeling real, too.

She stepped closer to the river again and sat down looking at the huge and beautiful waterfall, while her stomach was aching for hunger.

If she would have been a shell, where would she have decided to hide? Emma frowned. She wouldn't have been here at a river but at the sea. At a beach burried under sand. She sighed and took a look around.

There was no beach. Everything was green with little yellow, red and white flowers. Everywhere were plants; trees, flowers and bushes. There was no sand.

Emma sighed. Arielle had said, that her father had hidden the shell here near the river. What a stupid thing to do. It was strange to hide shell! Why would he do that?

Emma played with the grass under her body without taking care of it. It was no use in wondering where she would have hidden it, if she had been Arielle's father, because she didn't know him.

Where would she hide a mussel? Normally Emma was good in finding things or people she was playing hide and seek with, what didn't happen very often because she could tell if someone was lying to her. Others were annoyed very often as she called them liars.

She looked at the waterfall again. She wouldn't have hidden a shell around the river under plants or in the water itself. She wouldn't have wanted someone to find it.

Emma stood up again and walked slowly to the little mountain the waterfall kept floating of. Maybe he had put it under a stone or into a hole?

She could start searching for it. Emma sighed again. No, she couldn't. She didn't know what it was looking like and it was possible, that Arielle's father had taken more mussels along to hide the one, her new friend was looking for now, better.

Emma took a look to the side and tried to make out what was behind the floating water of the waterfall. There was a huge hole. Maybe it was a cave? That was exciting!

"Emma?", a voice called behind her back: "Emma, where are you?"

She turned around. It was Arielle. She had a worried expression in her face.

"I'm here.", she ran back and sat down again while she was talking in a hurry: "Arielle, I've found a huge cave behind that waterfall. Maybe your shell is there. Why did your father hide it anyway? Thank you."

The mermaid gave her a surprised look: "Well, he thought it would be better that way. But Emma, didn't I tell you to forget about it? It really is too dangerous for you! You are just 10!"

Emma ate the fish Arielle had brought her. It was already grilled and tasted great: "But I owe you now. And just wondering about it can't be that much of a danger. I didn't do something dangerous just like you made me promise. I just wanted to help you in return."

Arielle sighed: "Okay, where is the cave?"

"Behind the waterfall.", Emma almost shouted out of enthusiasm and jumped to her bare feet again.

"No. Stay here at finish your meal.", Arielle got a bag out of the water und gave her a pair of brown shoes: "I don't know if it'll be of use for you but you can try it."

"Thank you.", Emma said with a full mouth, when Arielle went closer to the waterfall, jumped up and tried to take a look through the water.

"That would be just like him.", she whispered to herself and swam back to Emma: "I can't reach it there. There is no water."

"Maybe I can.", Emma said trying on the shoes. It wasn't the right size so she used foliage to make them smaller.

"I don't know.", Arielle said unsure. She didn't want to put a 10 year old girl into danger but wanted to be with her love so badly. She didn't know what to do.

"Come on. It can't be so dangerous to look for a shell.", Emma insisted: "And I can climb and swim." She sounded very proud of it.

"Okay.", Arielle gave up: "But if you are scared you can stop. And if you think it is to dangerous or if you could get hurt you must stop. I don't want you to get hurt because of me, Emma. You're such a nice kid."

The girl smiled and ran to the waterfall. The floating water was really noisy. She climbed at the wall and had to notice, that the stones were wet and slippy. She could hear Arielle screaming something through the water but didn't understand anything. It was a great feeling to know that someone cared for her. It would be the same when she finally would wake up again. She would have a family than.

Emma reached the cave and took a look around. It was dark. There was not a little bit of light. She started to freeze because it was so cold in here. She tried to find the way in the darkness and fell to her knees. It was aching a lot but she didn't want to give up and went on.

Further inside the cave when she couldn't see the waterfall anymore she found something shining. It was sparkling. She went closer and saw the shell under a box of glass. The box was shining brightly.

Emma wasn't shure what to do. The last time she had seen something sparkling and shining like the glass, it had to do with electricity. She had been told that it was dangerous to touch something like that and that you could die of it. It had been the truth. She had noticed it.

She took a look around in the shine of the box and found a stone. The box was out of glass. She could simply destroy it. She took the stone and threw it.

The glass broke and a scream echoed from the cave's walls. It was so loud that stones fell from the roof. Emma screamed out of pain and put her hands upon her aching ears. After a moment she grabbed the shell and ran.

Arielle heared a loud scream and the waterfall seemed like it was shaking. It was like an earthquake just around the waterfall. She screamed Emma's name in fear and tried to get closer to the cave to see something but it was hard for her to get close to it. It was hopeless. She couldn't see anything. She screamed again and cursed herself for letting a kid do such a thing.

Suddenly something fell through the waterfall into the river. Arielle dived in and got Emma out of the water again: "Are you hurt? Emma, do you hear me? Are you okay? Do you have something? Say something!"

Emma looked up at her, a smile appearing on her face: "I've found it."

Arielle was speachless when the girl held out her hands with the shell screaming at her.

"I'm fine. The stones were just slippery and everything was shaking. That's why fell."

Arielle took the shell out of her hands and pulled her into a hug: "Thank you so much, Emma! You're hand is bleeding. Let me take care of it."

Emma watched her taking care of her hand, while her ears calmed down again and she was able to hear the water again: "So what now?"

"I'll take it to the man who wants to help me.", she answered.

"And what about me?", Emma said with a lost expression on her face. She was scared.

"You're right. You can't stay here.", Arielle went silent.

"Can't I come with you?"

"No, Emma. You can't breathe under water and I can't survive beeing out of it too long.", Arielle explained: "How about this: I'll take you to the coast and than we will see. Okay?"

She brought her to the coast, where Emma watched the waves the gulls.

"Please stay here."

"Why?"

"I don't want my father to see you. I don't think that would be a good idea."

"That's not true.", Emma stated: "Why are you lying to me?"

Arielle sighed: "Sorry. I just think, if you stay here I will be able to find you easier and not everything around this island is nice and good. You could get into danger, Emma. Please stay here."

"Okay. But don't lie to me anymore. I notice it."

"Fine. I promise! See you later.", and the mermaid was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part four, or how to survive with water running through your lungs**

Hook was exhausted. They had been watching Milah's sea funeral his travel to Neverland and now they were about to watch how he had met Arielle a mermaid living in the seas of Neverland and daughter of the seas' King.

"Why do we need to see this?", asked Hook still annoyed. He had felt so much things in the last hours – at least it felt like it – that it started to spread out on his body. His head was aching and his eyes were burning from watching all this.

"Ya'll understand in the long run.", said Pan looking interested around: "Wow, looks still th'same as t'was when I was here t'last time. I mean the way I remember."

"What? Are you going all sentimental now?", Hook stepped closer to water in order to take a look into it as good as possible. It was almost transparent so clear was it. The sun was creating little stars on the waves that sparkled all over the sea. The waves were softly hitting the stone under his feet and he was able to forget where he was and what time it was.

Until: "Com'on she must be here soon."

Hook pressed his eyes together for a second before he turned to face that boy again. The kid was pointing in the direction to his right. He knew exactly what would await him there but he followed him anyway.

His old self was standing on a huge rock waiting. He had something in his right hand. The left arm ended in the hook he hide behind his back. He didn't want her to see it. She would not be so thrilled about it somehow.

Suddenly the water moved in little waves in front of the rock and a girl showed up in front of him. Her hair was all red and her eyes were big and blue. She was checking him out before she came closer.

"Do you have what I need?", she said hopeful.

"Of course, love.", he held his right hand near his body: "What about you? Did you get it?"

"Yes, yes I did. It's here.", she said in an almost naive voice and fished something out of a bag she had made out of kelp to hold it out to him: "Isn't it great?"

His old self took a closer look and nod with his head: "And you're sure, that it will show me the way?"

Arielle's face went dark: "It definetly will. Trust me."

Hook watched himself rolling his eyes.

The mermaid held it out to him naïve as she was but drew it a little back, when he reached out to get it: "Hook, I must warn you. She really is awful. You need to be really careful! I heard she was collecting souls."

"It's fine.", his voice was sounding eagerly as he grabbed it.

"I'm not so sure. Don't underestimate Ursula.", she said worried while he was checking it again. It was little shell. It's colour was like the one of the ground under the sea. He would have never been abel to find it on his own.

"What about me?", asked Arielle curious: "Give it to me."

"Do you even remember what you gave her?", asked Pan in a low voice.

"No."

"T'was a part of a giraffe's hoof.", the boy remembered him: "She took it to Ursula so she would be able to turn her into a human beeing."

Hook frowned: "Why did it have to be a giraffe's hoof?"

"Because t'has long legs.", Pan stated: "Legs she needed to be with the man she loved."

The captain sighed and rolled his eyes: "Why are you showing me this?"

"T's important for the rest of ya story."

In a corner of his eyes he noticed that his old self was moving closer to her. He gave her the part of the hoof, while he catched her hair with his hook: "If you tell anybody about this, I will definetly come back and I will kill you."

Arielle was all frightened: "Why would I do that?"

"Not important. Just don't.", he smiled and drew her with him when he leaned back a bit. Tears escaped her eyes when she left the water a bit further.

"That hurts", she whined: "Stop it!"

"I shouldn't have made this deal with you. My sister was right!"

"Look, me not killing her really was me beeing a gentleman.", he used his charm to calm her before she would start to scream or something: "And me helping you either by the way."

Arielle seemed horrified: "Why would someone like you want to meet the witch of the sea?"

"That's not of your concern anymore.", he turned around and started to leave her: "Good luck!" Than he was gone.

Arielle was leaning at the rock starring at the water surrounding her with a worried expression in her face. Than she looked at the hoof a smile slowly growing on her lips and her expression changed into something dreamy, before she vanished.

They kept standing there in silent for a moment before Pan broke it: "Did you notice something?"

"What?"

"You used her and like that hadn't already been enough you even threatened her. And after everything she said you almost killed an innocent girl!", Pan stated out: "A girl Hook!"

"So what? I'm a pirate after all."

"But you have never threatened or killed a girl for a deal she didn't want to take or after fulfilling it. She even warned you to be careful!"

"You don't know anything about me.", a smile appeared on his lips.

"But not like that.", Pan tried again to make his point clear: "You almost fried her sister. That's not just killing. And what about you being a gentleman?"

Hook bit his lip. He had been acting like that for about a month after Milah's death. He wasn't proud of it but he wasn't doing that anymore anyway: "Why is it important?"

"Because you need to understand something that's still ahead.", the kid pointed out and took his arm: "Com'on. It'll get dark now."

"What the hell is that?", screamed Hook when he was standing in water up to his knees. His feet were getting wet. The water was cold like ice.

Pan was floating beside him with a huge smile on his face: "Well, I thought ya'd need some refreshment. Don't want ya to fall asleep here. Don't have the time for that."

He chuckled.

"Funny.", Hook stated playing around with his hook while concentrating on him.

Pan swallowed hard: "Com'on. This way."

They were in a huge cave. At the front of it there was something like a big bubble keeping the ozean's water out. It was dark. Everywhere where lying skeletons.

"Where are we?", asked Hook unable to remember. Did he even have to? Or was it a place he hadn't ever been before?

"Ya will remember.", said Pan and hurried a bit more.

Hook had to run to keep up with him. He didn't want to stay behind because he didn't know how to get back. Suddenly Pan stopped and the pirate had to try hard not to ran into him.

"There.", the boy said pointing at something ahead.

He had found her. The shell had not only shown him the way but had let him survive under water. It was incredible. Even though the blood on it wouldn't disappear. But he didn't care even a bit about it. He kept silent after all those storries he had heared about her. She was a really bad one, after all that gossip he had heared. There were stories about her crashing ships and killing the people on it by feeding them to a monster she was holding captive. Stories about her seeking for the sea king's head and powers.

He heared someone giggle. It was an annoying sound. He turned on his heels to face her, but she wasn't there. Nothing was there just like before.

Suddenly something crashed in his back, through him into the next wall, catched his right leg, through him into the other wall and held him captive there pinned at it with his back.

He needed a moment to be able to see something again. His whole head was hurting and his right leg felt like something had tried to tear it off. He gasped.

There was something moving in the darkness in front of him. He couldn't see what was keeping him to the wall, but that was his least problem now, he guessed. There was the giggleing again. It was nearer.

"Who are you?", he shouted: "What is all this about?"

"Are you scared?", it was just a whisper but the cave was so silent that he could hear it anyway: "Good."

"Show yourself!"

"Oh…captain…I'm afraid this is not your lovely Jolly Roger. You can't give commands down here.", said a flirty deep voice: "Yeah, I've been watching you. I know what you want. But I want something as well."

"Why don't you show yourself?", he tried again. He was annoyed of this situation. He had plans and this stupid little interruption was keeping him from the person he actually had wanted to see. It was wasting his time!

"Oh my…Little captain Hook… you don't need to worry. I know that I can't kill you. I don't have the powers right now. But there is something that could give it to me.", the thing came out of the shadows slowly. The grip around his arms and legs was loosening till he fell to his knees in front of it.

When he looked up again, there was a beautiful woman standing in front of him. She was wearing a black dress with a deep decoltee that was barely hiding anything. He couldn't see her feet what was a little strange. She weared her hair that was almost white in a high hair. She had used so much makeup that he didn't want to see her without it ever.

She stopped right in front him and waited for him to get up again.

"So it had been you.", he said slowly with his flirty tone: "Nice way to welcome someone who actually has a deal to offer."

"What could you possibly have to offer to me?", she said leaving him behind. He followed her and waited till she sat down on a thrown she had builded up in her little place.

"I know what you are seeking for.", Hook said cleaning his hook with his right arm: "And I can assure you, I do have something usefull to offer."

"Really?", she said bored while she took a shrimp and ate it raw. Hook swallowed hard. Definetly not his taste.

"The only question here is: What have you to offer for me?", he asked watching her closely.

"No.", the witch said: "I'm pulling the strings here, Hook. Not you." She rose her right arm and he was pulled back out of her cave and into the open ocean. He wasn't able to breathe and the water was pressing his whole body because he was so deep down and had lost the shell in the cave.

"What is that?", he heared her voice in a surprised tone and was suddenly pulled back again. He fell to his knees spilling water and catching breath. When he had calmed down and wanted to stand up again he was suddenly face to face with her. Her eyes were creepy. It was violet and shining and somehow dead.

She held out the shell to show him: "What is this?"

"A shell.", he answered acting like she hadn't almost destroyed him.

"Don't act dumb.", she growled and pushed him back against the wall again. His whole body was hurting: "I mean the blood on it. And you know that."

"It's not mine."

"I know. Who's is it?"

"I could tell you. But I need a deal.", he said smiling evilly.

"Forget it.", she said angrily: "I'm not making useless deals with stupid pirates."

"Well, than you won't ever know.", he whispered playfully shooting her a smile.

"I'll find out anyway.", she said drawl and turned around again:"I'll just feed you to my precious friend."

"I'm not afraid of this ugly thing.", he pointed out not knowing what she was talking about. He had heared that she had a monster. But he didn't know what it was and just tried playing her. He had to stay alive. His sword was hanging behind her thrown at the cave's wall. It was annoying.

"Ugly?", she said growling again and he knew he had played his cards well.

She turned around and was over him all of a sudden. The dress had turned into her legs and he knew he had seen her legs all the time.

"Who do you call ugly?", she demanded pinning him at the wall with her whole body now. It was like she was sitting on top of him. Her tangles were pinning his hands up at the wall and made him unable to move even a bit. Her face was so close, that their noses almost touched. He could smell the shrimps she had eaten alive maybe in her whole life. Hook had to try hard not to pass out now.

"So you are your pet either?", he said in a choked voice because he didn't want to breathe anymore till she would finally let go of him again.

A tentacle grabbed his neck. Even if he would have wanted to, he wouldn't be able to breathe anymore now.

"Looks great.", he said almost suffocating.

She let go of him: "What do you know?"

He fell to his knees. She might not be able to kill him, but she was definetely stronger than him.

"Tell me, what you have to offer.", she said pronouncing every single part of the sentence clearly, while her legs turned into her dress again.

Hook slowly stood up: "If I tell you what I know and give you my offer, you need to give me my weapons back, let me get out of here alive today and you need to tell me everything you know about Rumplestiltskin."

"Okay.", she said slowly: "But if I don't like what you have got to tell me, I'll just kill you for wasting my time. So be sure Hook. Do you really want to risk that? Now I still offer you to just leave again."

"I'll take that risk.", he said in a flirty and joking tone.

"Than we have deal.", Ursula said and in the blink of a moment his weapons were flying back to him. Every single one of them.

When he had put them to its places again she leaned back and waited: "Start."


	5. Chapter 5

**Part five, or how to survive dealing with a devil**

Hook leaned back at a wall of the cave they had been watching his past in. He could remember this hardly. It had all happened so fast that it was interessting to see it from an outsider's point of few. He could only congratulate himself. He had done a great job there. Ursula really had been awfull. He could still remember how glad he had been after he had gotten out of the water again.

"Don't act so proud.", scolded him Pan or at least tried to do so: "You did something awfull here and you don't care about it even a bit. That's nothing to be proud of."

"I haven't done anything yet.", he said with a deep voice: "I've just told her, that Arielle would be coming because I had given her what she needed to find her."

"That's not what I mean!"

"What do you mean?", Hook asked confused.

"Look at it.", Pan said strictly pointing at the situation in front of them.

"Talk!", the witch commanded eating another shrimp:"And hurry. I hate beeing bored."

Hook leaned at the wall checking his hook in the barely light created be the kettle and its green flames: "A few weeks ago I found a mermaid and asked her to help me to get through to you." He paused for a moment cleaning a part that seemed still dirty; "She refused and I burned her. She was able to escape under water again. It took me a couple of days to find another one."

"Why are you telling me this boring story?", she said annoyed.

Hook grinned: "Because her little sister showed up to get revenge. She hadn't had enough with her father sending a storm."

"I see. So?"

"I offered her the same deal. But she refused for wanting something more delicate.", his smile was frightening; "She wanted a part of a giraffe's hoof, if you get what I want to say."

Ursula sat so still for a moment that he wasn't sure, that she wasn't turned into a stone. Than a big evil smile appeared on her lips: " The wish to become human."

"Right. And our little Arielle wishes it really badly."

"So, you are sure that she will show up here?", Ursula was leaning forward her arms put on her legs: "What makes you so sure that she will come?"

"She is naïve.", Hook said bored: "And she has someone she wants to be with. Her father is strictly against it because he is a human. I believe she will definetely show up here. You will get your chance."

"And the blood?", the witch asked slowly starring at the little shell in her hands..

"I guess it's hers.", Hook said not having any clue of the truth about this: "Maybe she got hurt, when she got it for me. She was the only one knowing where it was and willing to help. I had just heared that it was under the sea."

"No.", Ursula said stretched: "It wasn't. Triton hid it somewhere else to prevent anybody to come here again. But the blood is not from Arielle nor from anyone of the sea."

Hook didn't really care: "What do you know about Rumplestiltskin? What are his weaknesses?"

"Don't ignore the blood, Hook. It is important. For you, you fool!", she said strictly, stood up and threw the shell into a huge kettle that was standing in a corner of her cave. The water inside was sizzling. She took a look inside while talking with him: "I don't know how to kill him. All I know is, that he found a weapon that turned him into it. I can't tell you, what it was or how it works. But it is definetely dangerous. I can't assure you, that you will succeed."

She paused.

So everything had been useless. Hook sighed.

"Wait.", she said still starring in the kettle: "Oh, Hook. You are so lucky that you came here tonight."

He starred at her, while she started to laugh: "What is it?"

Ursula turned around again with a big smile: "Our lovely mermaid has found a new friend. She got the shell for her out of the cave behind the waterfall. I had already been wondering how the stupid little girl got it out without leaving the water."

"Come to the point.", he said angrily. She was wasting his time.

"You will seek for revenge for a really long time. But if you meet her ever in your life, you will fail.", she warned him: "And I won't have anything to do with it. Not me, not another bad one, not Rumplestiltskin. Only her."

Hook frowned: "How could I be lucky in that case?"

"She is here in Neverland. She is still a kid. You could easily get rid of her.", her eyes were sparkling strangely.

"A kid?", he said unsure. Was he ready to kill a kid that hadn't done anything yet? Just because it would stop him one day?

"Yes.", Ursula said: "She is just 10 years old. An easy victim. But would you even try?"

He shot her a bad look: "Where is she?"

Ursula smiled evilly: "You won't kill her, Hook. You don't have what it needs to kill a cute little girl."

With almost two steps he was standing right in front of her, his hook at her neck, her awful breath in his nose: "No one will ever interfere my revenge! Don't be so sure about what I would do and what not to achieve it!"

She stared down on the metal at her neck. She smiled again hiding her anger: "No, you won't kill her."

She caressed his cheek and pushed him almost graceful away again: "You don't have what it needs to do it. But maybe you will find it one day."

"Where is she?", he growled not liking to be treaded like a kid himself: "And how will she stop me?"

Ursuala took another look into the kettle: "I can only guess."

"What do you mean with you can only guess. I thought you were such a great witch. Can't you get it more clearly? Now I understand that you have been locked up here.", he almost shouted out of frustration.

Within he was pinned at a wall again. She came slowly closer her octopus legs already holding him at his place. Her violet eyes were shining and her hair were floating around her head like Medusa's snakes.

She put a finger on his chest slowly pressing it into his flesh. "Careful, Hook.", she said menacingly: "I might not be able to just kill you, but I am able to grab your heart inside your chest. I could hurt you till you scream wishing to die within a second. Never forget that or I could come to the conclusion that you aren't useful for me anymore."

She let him down again and went back to the kettle: "I can't tell you how she will do it right know because it's not decided yet."

Hook was silent for a moment thinking dark things. After a moment watching her, he suddenly met her eyes: "Where is it?"

"It?"

"The kid."

Ursula grinned. So he had decided to think of her as a thing? There was no way that he could kill her now! She sighed and turned to her kettle again: "She was at the beach around an hour ago." The witch put a finger into the kettle, looked at it for a moment and licked the green thing that stuck at it: "She is with the lost boys now."

Hook starred at her for a moment. She had just licked something green that was smelling strange. He overcame this thought in a hurry. It was none of his business: "Where are the kids?"

"I can't tell.", she said unable to hide her anger: "Triton's power restricts my magic. I can not see the whole island to find them. For that I would need more than just a drop of blood. Something like an ear or maybe a tongue of her."

Hook sighed in frustration.

"Give me something like that and I will be able to tell you where they are hiding."

"I won't need it anymore if I bring you her ear!", he answered annoyed.

Ursula watched him closely: "Well, that's all I can give you. We are even now."

"Not completely!", Hook stressed: "Me getting out without any harm was part of our deal, remember that!"

The witch bit her inner lip. It was obvious that she had hopped to trick him. But she couldn't! He was still hiding something that would make it possible for her to find out, where Arielle actually was. The mermaid wasn't able to find her on her own and Ursula was unable to find her in return or even to leave her prison in this cave. She would need the mermaid to build up a new deal that would allow her to leave it again.

"If you want to get it, you should help me get out of the ocean alive now.", he hissed.

"How would I know that you don't have it here with you?", she asked looking at him with shining eyes again: "Maybe I can get it, without letting you go."

Hook chuckled for a moment: "That's impossible. The only way to get it, will be to let me go."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have it here."

"And again. Why should I believe you?"

"What makes you so sure that I already have it? I'm someone who can get it for you at least. You have no one to rely on in this case, have you?", he said with a huge charming smile on his lips.

Ursula was angry. He could tell. It was written all over her face. He had already guessed that she would try to betray him so he had made up a back up plan earlier and it was working quiet well.

"Fine.", she almost spit the word: "Take this and hurry!"

She gave him another shell. It was all black and shining. He hadn't ever seen something like that before.

"If you have what I need in return you put it inside and it will return to me safely. And Hook, you better won't betray me. I'll get out of here if you keep your word or not and if I do and you have betrayed me, you will regret your howl existence. Than I will be abel to reap your heart out, believe me!"

She almost pushed him out of the cave. The shell created a bubble around him and transported him back to the beach, where it disappeared again.

He took a deep breath and was just glad to be out of the water again. The air was incredible after the smell of her bloody cave! He looked down on the shell in his hand, got a red curl out of his pocket, that he had gotten from Arielle before when he had been fighting with her after her warning, put it inside and threw the shell back into the water again. Maybe the mermaid would be lucky, maybe not. It was not up to him.

"Did you see that?", Pan asked angrily.

"Yeah.", he answered the question: "I had already forgotten how awfull she really was."

"Hook!", Pan almost screamed. His weird kind of slang seemed always to disappear when he finally got serious. It was like back in the old days. He was just a kid playing with it.

"You reduced her to a thing! A little kid! And you really wanted to kill her!"

"So what?"

"Hook. You can't be honest with that!"

"Well… Pirate.", he said pointing at himself like this was apology enough for it.

Pan rolled his eyes: "Okay and how do you explain the things that happened after all this?"

He took the captain's arm and drew him into another direction.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part six, an entangled story with the lost boys**

Emma had been sitting on a rock waiting for Arielle and Peter Pan finishing their talk. The boy wasn't much older than her, he was wearing only a brown vest on top of brown pants, that were muddy and had a lot of holes. He was blonde, wore a brown had with a red feather and he had been flying!

He was so unlike the boys she had seen in the Disney movie.

"Please, take her with you.", she had heared Arielle's voice so silent that she had been surprised to hear it: "You have taken kids like her with you before. Why don't you want to do it now?"

"She's a girl.", Peter had said like this was reason enough and Emma hadn't been able blame him for that. He was a boy after all and they were always acting like that.

"So what?", Arielle had said slowly getting angry: "She is a kid who needs your help. So help her!"

"Why me?", Peter had whined, changing into tailor seat while he had been floating above the water: "Ya could take care of her instead."

Arielle had shot him a bad look: "It's obvious that I don't! I'm a mermaid if you have forgotten it, I'm living in the ocean. I can't take a human kid with me. She would die! And on top of this you are experienced with this. You are always taking the kids who get lost here."

"But she is a girl. I only have boys with me."

"Wendy wasn't a boy as well."

"Where is she even coming from?", Peter had changed the subject a bit too fast: "Do ya know? Maybe she's family on one of the other islands. Would be possible."

Arielle had bitten her bottom lip: "Well, I don't know. But she isn't dressed like those people. To be honest I haven't ever seen something like those clothes before."

Peter had turned to look her, so she had looked down on the sand under her shoes in a hurry. She hadn't wanted them to know that she had been earsdroping.

"Maybe we could ask Nova?", Arielle had said hopefully.

Peter had shot her an annoyed look: "If ya say we, ya actually mean me, don't ya?"

Arielle had grinned guiltily: "Well, you know her best. She likes you. And she seems to dislike grown ups somehow."

Peter had sighed: "I don't even want to know how the boys will react on that."

After that he had taken her with him, flying through the air and leaving her with his friends the lost boys, before he had disappeared again.

The boys hadn't been like the boys she had known before all this. They had been nice from the very first moment. They had been playing in the woods, getting dirty, climbing, swimming and they had shown her shooting with an arrow. But she would still need a lot of practice. They had made her forget her homesickness for a while and she had been glad to be with them.

Now they were sitting in the trees eating fruits they had found earlier between the trees on the ground and in the bushes. It was delicious. She was sitting on the highest one so she was able to see the ocean.

"What are you looking at?", asked Tootles a big boy who had showed her how to use the arrow before. He was sitting on a rock underneath the branch she was sitting on and after everything Peter Pan had said, when he had left her with the boys, was he the one beeing responsible for her right now.

"The ocean.", said Emma: "That's where I have seen Arielle the last time. It's so beautiful, don't you think?"

"It is.", said one of the twins: "We haven't been at the ocean for a while. Have found mussles and seastars?"

"No.", Emma said and took a big bite from her apple: "I was waiting there for her. But I got here a shell before we got there. It was a beautiful one." She turned to enjoy the view again and paused.

"What's wrong?", asked Nibs, who was sitting on another branch in front of her and who was able to watch her closely.

"There is a huge ship.", she said starring at the ocean: "It's got two white sails. It looks beautiful."

"What?", the boys shouted in a choir and jumped up in curiousity. Emma watched them putting their heads together before Tootles lent her a hand to help her climb off the tree again. He took her hand and ran in the direction of the sea along with the other boys.

"Let's see, who it is!", he screamed still running, when Peter suddenly was floating in front of him. The boy stopped running that fast, that she crashed into his back. The other boys also stopped in a hurry.

"Where are ya going, boys?", Peter asked in a strictly voice his arms crossed over his chest.

"We wanted to take a closer look on the ship down at the beach.", answered one of the twins. It was just impossible to keep them apart for Emma.

"Forget it.", Peter ordered: "I've got Nova with me and she wants to tell us a tale. So com'on, get back to the tree with me."

They boys followed him right away. Emma stayed for a moment looking back at the ship again. It wasn't moving. But in front of it there were little boats in the water. Someone was landing.

"Emma, what are you doing?", shouted Tootle: "Come on!"

Nova was a little fairy dressed in pink. She was sitting on a stone waiting for them with a smile on her lips.

The boys sat down in front of her but she was only looking at her. It seemed like she had been waiting to see her. Emma sat down next to Tootle who she had somehow gotten friends with and waited for her to talk.

"Well, I'll tell you the tale of Yvaine and Tristan. Yvaine is our beloved evening star. She fell to the earth and Tristan found her. He was a prince and fell in love with her. He saved her of an evil witch and they married. She gave him her heart and earned his one in return. When they had grown old and had watched their children grow and getting own children, they decided to go back, where Yvaine had been living in the past. They became stars, shining beside each other, never forced to be alone again. Their love would keep them alive for eternity.

As stars they were able to travel between different worlds, because every world has the same stars, the sun and the moon. And because their love was so strong, they were able to use magic, the magic of love.", the fairy paused for a moment, starring at Emma, before she continued talking: "But because magic comes with a prize, they were only able to use it once a year."

Toodles and the other kids were watching her closely but Emma didn't. She was still thinking of the ship she had seen before.

Nova went on: "So they decided to send every year an orphan to this island, so it would be able to find friends and to become happy.

It happened, that they heared a witch planning a huge curse that would influence everyone and everything in every world they had ever traveled to. So they decided to use all of their power and brought a girl of a far away country through time to these islands. They wanted to send a boy, but these girl, catched their attention. They send her here by accident, noticed their mistake too late and were unable to bring her ever back again because their magic had come with the prize of a life without magic for at least a bunch of years."

The boys were starring at Nova before they faced Emma for a long moment with their tired eyes.

"The girl had just found a new family and wanted to get back to it very badly, so the asked a fairy to help them correcting their mistake again. The fairy gave her a magic flower that brought her back and one day she broke the witches curse and Yvaine and Tristan got their powers back."

The boys had fallen asleep, when Nova stood up and walked over to Emma. She sat down in front of her so she could see into her eyes. She smiled and got a flower out of her pocket, that she held out to Emma: "Take it. It will bring you back where you belong."

Emma closed her hand around the flower: "Thank you. But wasn't it just a tale?"

"Not completelty my little sunshine. You know why they took the girl instead of a boy?", asked Nova with a warm smile on her lips.

"No."

"Because the girl was the product of true love just like their magical powers were powers of love. Their powers were attracted to each other and brought her here. But the power of a child born out of true love is more powerful than an old love, that exists for centurys, so the girl will be able to get back home again using the flower."

Emma starred at the flower not completely getting what she was explaining to her: "What do I need to do with the flower?"

Nova looked over her shoulder and Peter stepped forward: "Peter here will bring you near the coast. Don't leave the wood. It will be too dangerous! You must plant the flower between the tress right where the beach starts. Don't be afraid. You can trust me. It will bring you back safely."

"Thank you.", Emma said honestly. She knew that the fairy hadn't been lying to her and she would be brave enough to do excactly what she had told her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part seven, an entangled story about how to keep the upper hand**

Hook fell hard to the ground, when he arrived with Pan at the beach. He stood up again slowly and glanced at the boy who was completely ignoring him and kept focusing the wood.

"What are we doing here?", the pirate looked around in confusion: "And where are we?"

"At the beach.", Pan answered: "You have sent your men here to find the lost boys and the girl. Do you remember?"

Hook frowned. No, he actually couldn't: "And where am I right now?"

"Well, your old self is waiting for news on your Jolly Roger. But you won't stay there for long anymore because you will get sick of waiting. We will stay here until you have seen, what you need to see."

Hook tried to remember but it had been just too long ago. The story with Arielle and Ursula hadn't been that hard to remember for the giraffe had almost killed Smee, the mermaid's hair had been his safe escape and Ursula had just been awful. He guessed that no one would be albe to ever forget her.

"I could say it wasn't bad, that you don't remember and that you would do it soon enough.", Pan started: "But that would be a lie."

He was so serious since the moment they had arrived here. It was strange. His old self wasn't even here so he had nothing to do with the things going on here. He had only made an order that was all to it. He had done those things very often when he had been on his journeys with his crew. It was nothing special.

Something between the trees caught his attention. There was something moving. It was getting nearer. He frowned.

"Scht."

Hook looked at Pan in confusion, but Pan only laid a finger on his lips and pointed at the trees. That wasn't hard to understand. It meant: "Shut up and concentrate on this!"

Hook was about to roll his eyes when he heared someone talking all of a sudden: "Do we really need to stay between the trees?" The voice was somehow familiar and sounded disappointed.

"Yes.", answered another one that sounded like Pan: "Ya've heard what she said."

"That's so stupid. I wanted to see Arielle again."

"Ya've seen her just this morning."

"I know, but I wanted to say goodbye.", the voice came nearer.

"Just keep silent.", Pan sounded annoyed.

Hook turned to face the boy's version beside him, but the kid was gone. He turned around on his heels searching everywhere around him and checked the air but he was gone.

Suddenly someone fell to the ground behind him. He turned around and was face to face with a little girl lying on knees in the sand. She pushed herself up to stand up again.

Her hair was blonde and reached her shoulders. She had beautiful big blue eyes that were strangely familiar to him. She was looking right through him.

Suddenly Pan stood behind her, his fists at his sides starring down on her in anger: "I've told you, that we couldn't visit her because we need to stay between the trees."

He helped her to stand up again completely: "Why do you always need to do as you please, Emma?"

Emma? Did he just say Emma? That was just impossible!

Pan took her hand and went between the trees with her again, while she was apologizing.

Hook searched for his ghost version of Pan again, before he followed the kids not knowing what he should do instead. But if he was honest with himself than he was actually following them because he was curious.

Was this child the same Emma he knew? How did she end up here? Had he met her back than? If he had than why didn't he remember anything?

"I still don't understand why I shouldn't leave the trees. It's boring in here and you can't walk as easily as at the sand.", she said in a childish and naïve voice.

"Because of this ship out there.", Pan explained nerved while looking over his shoulders: "And because of those men running around here. Out there at the beach we won't be able to hide. The trees give us safety."

Emma snorted: "I'm not scared of those guys. They didn't even notice us when we walked by!"

"And the ship?", he didn't even sound interested.

"Looks great.", she sighed: "I would want to take a closer look. Do you think it really is that huge?"

Pan made a frustrated sound: "Emma, those men are dangerous! They could notice us every second and they are all coming from this ship. Believe me, you don't want to be there or to get in contact with them."

Hook couldn't help but smile. So she had always been like this. Never choosing the easy way always brave. And she didn't even remember anything of all this as it seemed.

"Can't you fly me to that ship? I want to see it so badly."

Pan stopped: "For sure not! Didn't you hear what I just said? Don't you want to get back to your family?"

Emma looked at him in surprise: "Of course!"

"Than stop whining and com'on.", Peter walked on, Emma following in a little distance. She kept looking back at the ship, his ship that could be seen through the trees in a distance.

Suddenly Pan was hung up in a net on a tree. Emma turned around in surprise and looked up to him. It had been a trap.

While the boy was cursing the world Hook couldn't help but be proud of his men who obviously had placed the net on the ground. Emma started to giggle.

"Stop it!", spat Pan: "They will hear you!"

"Didn't you say we were save here?", she giggled trying to relax again. It took her a moment till she was finally able to stop it.

She took one last breath while Pan kept cursing and finally asked: "What now? I don't have anything to cut you down or anything. Maybe I could climb up the tree to get you down again? What shall I do?"

Pan checked is pockets: "I don't have anything to cut me down either."

He grazed the bag from his shoulder, which he had taken along and contained the flower Nova had given to them: "Emma, take the flower and run away." He pushed the bag carefully through the net surrounding him and let it down to her: "Stay away from the beach and be careful not to be seen by anyone. As soon as you think you are safe you plant that flower. Do you understand?"

Emma took the bag unsure: "What about you? I can't just leave you here! They will get you."

"But you can!", said Pan angrily: "You are the one beeing in danger, not me! I'll be fine. Run!"

Emma started to run as fast as her little legs were able to carry her. She fell over branches and stones, got up again and kept on running. But she wasn't careful. She was making too much noise so it was no surprise that Hook finally heared someone running through the wood behind them.

Emma seemed to have noticed it either. She suddenly stopped and turned to check if she could see something. She waited a moment and went on slowlier but also more silent. She kept checking her back and sometimes she even left the way she was following.

But Hook knew, it would be of no use. They had found her track and they would find her. They were his men after all.

The noise got louder very fast so they were getting nearer. Emma suddenly stopped again. It seemed like she was thinking very hard about something. She looked at a tree beside her, checked the direction the noise was coming from a last time, pulled the bag more tightly around her shoulders and climbed up the tree until she wasn't able to be seen through the branches anymore. Hook heared her breathing hard out of effort for a moment, then she was completely silent.

They didn't have to wait long, till two of his crew members ran straight through him and stopped at the place Emma had been standing before. They kept searching around when Smee reached them from the other direction.

"So?"

"Nothing.", said one of them: "She tried to fool us and kept running deeper into the wood. But we were able to follow her until now."

"Her track is completely gone.", hissed the other one.

"Maybe she went deeper inside?", asked Smee.

"No tracks."

"What did this Peter Pan say?", asked Smee.

"He said, she ran deeper into the woods. We didn't believe him because we thought he would be trying to protect her for sure so we followed the coast."

"She didn't ran futher. I didn't see her either. Maybe she went to the beach?", Smee said.

"What's wrong gentlemen?", asked his own voice behind him all of a sudden. Hook was proud of himself. Even he had been surprised.

His old self came from the beach through the trees to them hiding his hook in his sleeve a little smile on his lips he tried to hide. He was the charming one again. Hook couldn't help himself but be proud of himself. It was clear as glass that she wouldn't be able to hide up there.

"I've got the impression", said someone beside him: "You are getting all this wrong."

"I don't know what you mean.", he answered without even facing the ghost beside him: "By the way, a little warning would have been nice before you just disappeared."

"Don't act like you actually care.", the boy said while watching the scene in front of them: "I can't be there when my old self shows up. It's just a rule. With you it's different, because you are supposed to learn something. That's not the same as praising yourself by the way."

"I'm not praising, I'm admitting.", Hook said jokingly.

"Yeah, of course.", Pan's voice very ironically.

In the meantime the men had left into the direction of the beach following his old selfs false hints. He even acted like he was making sure that they really had left before he turned around and looked up the tree Emma was hiding on: "You can come down now. They are gone."

Pan snorted: "That's almost ridiculous."

"What?", Hook asked in disbelieve. He thought this was actually brilliant.

"You'll see."

Hook's past self waited for a moment beeing sure it would be working since his charme had never failed before: "Don't be afraid. You are safe now. I won't hurt you. I'm actually here to help you."

A coconut fell through the branches and hit his head badly. He held the place it had crashed into him and looked up again: "Au! Why did you do that? That hurts. I only want to help you and you-"

"Liar!"

"She is brave.", noticed Pan impressed.

"And stupid.", added Hook already sure that he hadn't given up that fast back than. After all he liked a challenge and it seemed like Emma had always been challenging him.

"What?", his old self looked up the tree hoping to get a glimpse of her: "What makes you believe that? Didn't I just help you to get rid of them? By the way I don't think it will take them long to get back so you'd better hurry."

"I notice a stupid act if I see one.", she said: "And if I believe that you are lying it's reason enough for me to not trust you! They were acting completely different next to you."

Hook watched his old self rolling his eyes in frustration and secretly cursing her: "It'll get dark soon and that means it will be really cold up there. Don't you want to take the chance to get away now?"

Silence.

"Are you listening to me?"

Nothing again.

"What's your name?", he seemed impressed, what Hook could understand quite well.

"What's yours?"

"Killian.", he answered using his old trick again. It would be working.

Silence.

"You don't believe me?"

"What do you want from me?"

"I just want to help you."

He heared her sighing out of frustration herself now: "And here you go lying to me again."

"How old are you kid?"

"I'm 10. Why?", she sounded kind of proud of this.

He had an somehow impressed expression. She was quite annoying already. She would have been something if she would have been a grown up one day. But he had no intention to let that ever happen since Ursula had warned him this morning.

"And that's where you became serious.", commented Pan beside him.

"Well if you don't want to come down by yourself we will just cut you down.", they watched himself winking his men to come back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part eight, or how to survive risking what's most important to you**

She had had a hart time trying to keep a hold on that tree when they had started to cut it down with their axes. Hook had watched her falling from one branch to another unable to keep a hold on one tightly enough to be safe.

When his men had stopped to breath for a moment, she had been impudent enough to throw coconuts again. It was true she had had a hard time not to fall down to them but they had had a tough time either escaping the coconuts. She was quite good in throwing those.

Hook had send Smee to pick up this boy they had caught before, but he had come back with bad news. The boy had escaped.

When it had gotten darker and colder she had fallen down finally. But that hadn't made it easier for them. She had picked up coconuts from the ground to throw it at them and when they had gotten to close she had been biting and kicking everything she had been able to reach.

It was almost ridiculous how hard it had been for his grown up men who had been traveling with him for such a long time fighting side by side with him to catch a small girl like her. She wasn't even a fighter or something. It had just been her actions. It had been impossible to predict what she would be doing next.

Now she was sitting gagged and cuffed to hands and feet on deck of his beloved Jolly Roger. Her hair was dirty just like her weird clothes and her face had been cutted by the branches she had fallen through. She was watching him with fire in her eyes. If eyes could kill he would be dead by now, he was pretty sure.

It was strange but somehow he was enjoying it. It was the feeling of having won that was lifting his mood. He called for Smee who showed up right away: "Take her down. The men are a bit to distracted of her in my opinion."

"Any wishes where exactly I shall bring her?"

"I don't care. The only thing important is, that she won't be able to make any more trouble.", he kept watching her. He somehow had the feeling it would be a bad idea to stop keeping an eye on her.

"Captain, may I ask you something?", Smee asked respectfully: "Why all this trouble just for a small girl? What do want to do with her?"

"Just bring her down.", Hook turned away from him and faced his men again.

She was scared like hell but she didn't want to admit it. These Killian had be lying all along when he had told her she would be safe with him and that he didn't intend to harm her. This Smee seemed nicer, but like everyone on this ship he didn't talk with her. He was bringing her into a small room. Everywhere was food. He left her there ofter freeing her from her gag and was just about to close the door behind him, when she finally started to talk: "What do you want from me? Why are you doing this to me? I don't even know you."

Smee froze in his movement but didn't turn around to face her again.

"Why aren't you talking with me?"

He slowly turned around: "I was told not to do it."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Don't you want to know it?"

Smee grinned: "I'd like to but what the captain orders has got to be followed."

"The captain?", she made a face like the word was tasting bad on her tounge: "Who is this captain?"

"You have met him.", Smee said and turned around again. Hook was standing in front of him hidden by the door so she wasn't able to see him. He expected him to be angry but instead he just laid a finger upon his lips to sign him to keep on.

"This liar?"

Smee coughed at this words: "What?"

Emma frowned: "The guy telling me he wanted to help me."

Smee looked for a short moment his captain's eyes before he slowly asked: "Why didn't you trust him?"

"I don't like liars. Is he standing behind that door?", she asked unimpressed.

"No."

"Liar."

Smee starred at her, while Hook couldn't help but smile on this. She sounded like she wasn't impressed or scared even a bit. But he was impressed.

"How do you do that?", Smee asked confused.

"Why should I tell you?"

Hook laid his right hand on Smee's shoulder to free him from her and showed finally up in the doorframe: "It's okay old friend. Get up on deck again and tell them to set sail. We travel along the coast. Direction northeastern."

"Aye!", Smee left them alone.

"So you think I was a liar.", he said amused looking at her. But his amusement didn't reach his eyes.

She kept silent.

"You know, not saying anything won't help."

She rolled her eyes.

"What's in the bag you kept with you?"

She made an expression like she would prefer to bite her own tounge over telling him anything. He was impressed since she was just 10 years old, if he could believe her and that was pretty possible since she hated liars so much.

He got to the squat and tried to catch glimpse but she was only focusing his left hand and frowned.

"Want to know the story?"

"No."

"Oh, you are finally talking with me.", he said sarcastically.

"I don't like you."

"Why not?", he asked without really beeing interested in her answer.

But what she had to say about it was confusing him secretly: "You never smile with your eyes."

He stared at her. For a moment silence was hanging between them. Than he got an hold on himself again: "Not because you think I was a liar?"

"That's just on top of it.", she answered honestly what was surprising since she had to worry of making him angry in her current position.

"So you want to hear the truth?", he asked slowly standing up again.

"Yes!", she answered right away starring up at him.

"Than we have something in common.", he left her alone in the dark of the closed up load room.

He had a hart time handling what she had just said. He was smiling without his eyes? What did a little kid know about such things? She was just 10! How did she even dare to say something like this?

He had left her in the darkness hoping to scare her while he was taking care of the crew and the ship for at least one hour. He had wanted to leave her there for a longer time but he was just too curious of what she would tell him. He came up with a plan and told Smee to bring her into the captain's cabin.

When he finally arrived there she was sitting on a chair angrily starring out of the window her hands still tied up. She didn't look at him but he was sure that she knew he was there.

"Do you like what you see?", he asked stepping closer waiting for an answer. But nothing came.

He went on: "Look, I don't want you to lie to me and you don't want me to do that either. How about you answering my questions in exchange of me answering yours?"

She looked at him with her big blue eyes. Deep in it he could notice fear, but she was trying to bury it inside so he would not notice it.

"What could I possibly tell you?"

"Maybe if you are scared?"

"Of you? No."

"Liar.", he used her words lifting an eyebrow.

"I am not afraid of you.", she repeated.

"Than of what are you afraid?"

She took a moment starring at the ground before she slowly answered: "Of what you might want from me?" She wasn't sure herself. He could see it in the way she frowned.

After a moment she caught herself again: "What do you want from me?"

"Answeres."

She shot him an angry look turning her little mouth into a pout. But the way she stared at him again told him already that she was waiting for his question.

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know.", she laid her head to the left side still frowning: "Why did you hunt me?"

"Because a witch told me you would be dangerous for me and my goals."

She stared at him in disbelieve. But she believed him, he could see it.

"So tell me, how are you a little girl going to do that?", he asked watching her carefully.

"I don't know.", she said confused: "Why do you believe her?"

"I don't. That's why I'm asking you.", he answered honestly: "What were you doing with this boy when we found you?"

"We wanted to do what a fairy had told us.", she answered shortly: "What are you're goals?"

"I'm hunting a crocodile. I want to see it dead. Why do you know when I am lying?"

"I just do.", she said and he had the impression that she didn't know it herself: "Why are you always so bad?"

He stared at her for a moment before he answered. He hadn't even thought of the way she was seeing him. Right now he couldn't even understand why he did care about her words.

"A lot of bad things have happened to me.", he answered shortly. He didn't want to say more about it: "What did you mean with I wasn't smiling with my eyes?"

"Just that.", she answered starring at him: "What did the witch tell you?"

Hook saw the fear in her eyes. She was afraid of his answer but still asked for it. That was strange.

"She said you would stop me one day and I would need to get rid of you first.", he watched her closely. Her façade was finally braking a bit.

"What is the flower in your bag for?"

She starred at him for a moment as she had hoped he wouldn't ask this of all questions: "I shall plant it. The fairy told me to do so."

He frowned while she asked her next question: "Do you trust her and will you get rid of me now or not?"

He starred at her for a long moment. The little girl with her big eyes that were finally showing so much fear: "What do you think what I should do?"

He didn't really know why he asked that.

"I think you know that already.", she said swallowing hard: "What are you going to do with me now?"

Hook sighed: "I don't know." He stood up and left the cabin. That was weird. He had caught her with the intention to kill her. He had definetly planned to do that! But something had made him curious about her so he had started to ask her questions. And know he wasn't so sure anymore that he wanted to kill her or, what was even worse, that he would even be able to do it.

She was a brave little girl and her eyes were just too big. But with them she was just looking through him what definetly was strange! He leaned at the wall starring into nothing.

He was smiling without his eyes. That remembered him of something but he wasn't able to put a finger on it.

He definetly didn't trust Ursula! But would he kill her? Was he able to do that?

Smee walked by, he stopped him touching his arm with his hook: "Give her something to eat and cut her bonds loose."

Smee looked at him in confusion for a moment: "Captain, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"If you have a problem…"

"Just do as I said.", he left him and went on deck, as he finally noticed what it was, that was troubling him about this thing with his eyes.

When Rumplestiltskin had shown up on this ship years ago he had been smiling coldly either. It was the same with Ursula. Every time he had gotten the impression like they're smiles had been empty and somehow dead.

He remembered Milah touching his cheek laughing with him. Her eyes had always been that full of love and fun when she had just grinned at him. That had been the differenz between him and Rumplestiltskin. Suddenly he knew what he had to do.

He went back to the captain's cabine, where she was refusing to eat anything, took her hand, drew her on deck again and let her hand go like she was burning. He stared at her while she was barely hiding her fear.

"Go."

"What?", she asked confused starring up at him while frowning.

"Go."

"Where is my bag?", she asked still confused.

He looked around, grabbed the bag one of his men was holding in his hands and threw it into her hands: "Leave before I change my mind."

She turned around to the handrail and looked down in the sea. She had no way to leave.

All of a sudden a boy flew over the ship. Hook had to look at him twice before he was able to trust his eyes. The boy catched her arm and took her with him.

She was gone and he had that strange feeling to have lost to Ursula but also have won against her. It was weird. He frowned ignoring his men starring at him and went down into his cabin again.

Hook starred at himself not able to understand why he had done that.

"Do you understand why all this was important now?", Pan asked seriously.

"Actually no.", Hook said frowning. He released his look from himself to face Peter in confusion: "Why is it important?"

"Wow.", the boy said surprised: "You didn't understand it completely back than and you still don't do it now? Well, if you would have killed her, you would have lost the least bit of yourself. You know there always is an action that decides between white and black and grey. You have always been on the grey side. But if you would have killed her, there would have been no way back for you. You would have lost the last bit that made the difference between you and him and Ursula. Yeah, you could even say the difference between Cora and you."

Hook starred at him unable to say anything.

"You would have lost everything. You would have ended up as someone only living for revenge without any left personality."

"What happened to her?"

"She planted the flower and got back where she came from. But the family who wanted to adopt her was believing she ran away for a whole day and stepped back from the adoption, while she was still believing that she had only been dreaming."

Pan took his arm again: "Come on. I'll bring you back. You need a break. The other one will keep on. We changed the plan. There will be another one showing you the past as well." They jumped into the cold ocean.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part nine, or how to survive with your first maat beeing the boss**

Hook was freezing. That stupid brat could have taken him back in a nicer way for his taste. The water was somehow really hard and his whole body started to hurt. He opened his eyes and was lying on the deck of his Jolly Roger right in front of the main fattening he had fallen of before his little journey with Pan. He was completely wet from the rain that had been pattering on his body all the time like it seemed. But the storm was over again.

He stood up slowly unsure what to do now. He was confused and swallowed hard. It took him a moment to make the decision to change his wet clothes. When he headed in the direction of his cabin he heared something behind him. He turned around and watched someone climbing on deck.

It was Emma.

He frowned.

She looked around for a moment before she met his eyes: "We've got to talk."

"Bad timing love.", he said, leaving her behind.

She followed him. He wouldn't have expected something else.

"What did you do to Belle?", she sounded angry.

He frowned again having a hard moment to remember anything that had happened before he had ended up in his memory. Oh, yeah, he had kidnapped her.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

Hook rolled his eyes. At least one thing hadn't changed since she was a little girl.

"Where is she?", Emma asked angrily.

"How would I know?", he stepped into his cabin and wanted to close the door behind him, but she placed her foot in the doorframe to stop him. It worked.

"She has nothing to do with your problem with Gold!"

"Actually she has.", Hook said dryly: "And now, love, would you mind to give me moment? Unless you want to help me changing of course."

She froze for just a second and stepped back: "Why are you that wet anyway?"

"Well, I could tell you.", he said with a grin: "But I won't."

He closed the door what didn't stop her from talking with him. He should have left it open.

"Don't you have a guilty conscience?"

"What's that?", he asked jokingly.

"You want to kill Rumplestiltskin for killing the woman you loved and now you are just doing the same? Seriously? What is the difference between him and you than?"

He threw open the door and stared at her furious: "What?"

"You've heared me.", she said just as angry as him.

"You don't know anything.", he growled: "So how about you just keep out of it."

"I can't if you include innocent people. Last week you have been stealing him than you have been fighting damaging windows and hurting people. And now you kidnapped someone.", she said annoyed: "This is not your little enchanted forest. In this world there are rules you have to follow in order to life together."

"But I don't want to life with him! All I want is to see him dead!", he growled again.

"That won't help you either."

"Help me with what?", he hissed.

"Where is Belle?", she asked again ignoring his question.

"I don't know.", he said pronouncing every single word before he said more lightly: "But if you find her you don't need to tell me where."

"Because you do know where she is?"

"Because I don't care.", he said in a whisper.

She sighed rolling her eyes.

Hook looked at her for a moment. He frowned. She was somehow still like the kid she had been back in Neverland. Always arguing with him always knowing when he was lying and somehow always looking right through him.

"What?", she had noticed him watching her and was still angry.

"Well, I was just thinking it's a pity that you always want to do the right thing so badly."

She frowned: "What?"

He stepped closer: "Well, you don't like Regina but you still want to excapt her because you think it is the right thing for your son. You're ex left you behind with a kid but you still think you could go back to where you were happy with him because you think it would be best for your son. You stay in this town while you could go anywhere because of those people living here need your help. And you keep fighting with Cora and Rumplestiltskin and Regina because your parents need you. So tell me, when was the last time you did something for yourself?"

She stared into his eyes: "Who says it wasn't for me either?"

He came even closer. They're noses were almost touching when he answered her in a whisper: "I do. You are like a bird captured in a cage. You always want to get free again but you just can't find away."

She frowned. The way she starred at him made it sure. He was right.

He looked at her mouth with a confused expression: "Why are you always doing that?"

She was frozen for a moment staring back at him not even a bit less confused than him.

Than she suddenly stepped back, creating space between them again: "That's what you do for people you love."

"You don't love that jerk anymore.", he was still whispering but he knew she could hear him.

She stared at him scared of what he would say next. Scared of the truth he had just told her.

Silence was lingering between them saying what neither of them was willing to say or to admit.

She took a deep breath: "I've got to find Bell."

He was confused for a moment. That change was sudden.

He followed her on the deck again: "What? That's all you've got to say about this?"

"That's all that is important right now."

"You are running away.", he said slowly in a singing voice: "And I guess you know it."

She didn't turn around again but only left.

He stared at the place she had just stand and leaned with his back at the main mast. Had he just said what he had said? What had he actually wanted to hear? That she would leave everything behind just to be with him? No, for sure not! She wasn't important for him. She was interesting but not important. The only thing beeing important to him was his revenge for Milah. Nothing else!

He needed to go to check on Belle he was holding captive in a cave at the coast. He needed answers of her. Answers only she could give him. He waited for moment because he wanted to make sure that Emma wasn't waiting for him to do exactly what he wanted to do now, before he left the Jolly Roger himself.

She was acting like he had been the worst guy in town but he wasn't that cruel to leave the girl alone in this cave. Smee was with her taking care of her. She would be useless for him if she would die or get ill. Smee had to keep her warm and healthy.

Hook looked around to make sure no one was following him especially not a certain blonde one before he headed in the direction of the cave. It was awfully cold out here. But what had he expected? It was winter and everywhere was lying snow. The way he was following was frozen and he had to be carefull not fall down. It took him longer than before to get in sight of this cave.

He climbed over rocks, lost his hold and slipped. He fell into the next wave unable to help himself.

It took him a while to break through the water again and to swim back to the beach where he would be able to finally leave the water.

He coughed spilling water for a momen. Than he stood up again and found himself standing in front of Smee who was looking down on him, his arms crossed in front of his cheast.

"Why are you here?", Hook stepped closer to him: "Why aren't you with the girl?"

"Because I need to show you something Captain.", he said in his loyal way: "You need to follow me."

Hook frowned. He suddenly noticed that it wasn't winter anymore. He wasn't in Storybrook.

He sighed. So this was happening again?

"Come on, Captain.", Smee said: "You know how it works, don't you?"

They followed a road leading them through a huge forest: "But you are still alive. How could you possibly be a ghost showing me around now?"

"That's not important.", his old friend said leading him through a field of flowers that were even higher than their heads.

"Say, are we in Wonderland?", his voice sounded nerved.

"Yes.", answered Smee slightly impressed of him noticing it.

"And what now? You know I happen to remember everything that happened to me here."

"I wouldn't be that sure about it.", said Smee grinning at him: "What is it you remember?"

Hook frowned. That was better than his travel to Neverland with Peter Pan. Smee would at least talk with him in a normal way.

"Well, I went here, met Cora, made a deal with her, stayed for a few days here because time is slowlier here and went back with the old witch pretending to have killed her."

"That's the short story.", said Smee: "But do you remember what happened in these few days?"

The captain stopped and looked at the ground while trying to remember.

"I thought so.", Smee said after a moment: "That's what we are here for. We won't watch you making the deal with Cora, don't worry. You already know that you were worrying if it was a vice decision to make. And you know that you didn't trust her. That's fine. It is definetly good. But you need to remember meeting Emma again."

"What?", he stared at him in disbelieve: "Here either? You've got to be kidding. And I can't remember that, too?"

"Yes.", said Smee with a empathizing smile on his lips: "She was definetly here."

"How old was she?"

"Around 16. When she came back from here she decided to leave the orphanage.", Smee held out his left arm to blockade his way: "Look."

A girl dressed in trousers and boots with a brown jacket stumbeld through the flowers as high as trees. Hair her were bound in a ponytale. She was already looking much alike the Emma he had just seen on his Jolly Roger. She kept looking around frowning. It was obvious that she couldn't understand anything going on with her at the moment.

"She just arrived. She took too much of a drank that Cora had placed in that room you arrived when you came here. She locked the door leading here and made up a knew one. It was a lot smaller than the others.", Smee explained to him: "She wanted to keep others out that Regina might have sent after you to get her and to keep others at their place that might have wanted to escape before the two of you."

"How did Emma get here?", Hook followed her through the flowers not taking care of Smee's position anymore.

"A dream. Right know she is actually dreaming. It has been made up that she would show up here. I guess by Rumplestiltskin. She had to stay in contact with our world or worlds alike ours to make it easier for her to believe and to break the curse. He just didn't expact the things that happened to her after this."

"What happened?"

"She met Henry's father.", Smee simply said: "But if you want to know more about that, you need to aks her yourself."

Hook turned on his heels and stared at him: "You've gotta be kidding me! She won't ever tell me anything about this."

"Right now you might be right. But maybe she will change her mind one day if you change as well?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Part ten, or how to survive watching yourself following a red queen's orders**

They had reached a dark forest. It was as dark as they almost couldn't see their own hands anymore. To follow the girl was accordingly hard to handle. Hook used his hook to get a hold on a low branch or something like that often to prevent himself of falling to the ground if he stambeled.

Emma was making a lot of noise. She didn't care if someone would hear her, that was obvious. Hook even got the impression she would have been glad if someone found her because she was so lost.

With the missing sunlight between the trees it was getting colder quickly. Emma put her jacket thightlier and rapped her arms around her waist if she didn't need them to prevent herself of falling on her face or getting hit by a branch.

Suddenly they heared something above their heads. Hook and Smee looked up at a branch right in front of Emma just as she did. There was nothing. She looked around for a moment and went on as she couldn't see anything. She seemed a little afraid what possibly was the explaination for not screaming out for help or something like that.

The noise sounded again. It was clearer than before. It was a giggle. Emma froze right in her movement and looked up again just to see a really huge smile in the middle of nowwhere hovering above the branch she had just checked before. She let out a little scream and stumbled back a few steps.

"Hello?", she said with a small voice still staring up at the branch with big eyes and an slightly opened mouth: "Is there anybody up there?"

The smile opened its teeth while talking: "Maybe. Who wants to know?"

"Me.", she said a bit to fast. She was frightened. Hook couldn't blame her for it. Wonderland hadn't been his favourite place either. Especially since Cora was leading it.

"Who is "me"?"

"Emma.", she said frowning and hope glimmering up in a corner of her eyes: "What is your name?"

"Cheshire cat.", the smile answered and conjured her a puzzled expression on her face.

"Show yourself.", Emma demanded: "I prefer to see who I'm talking with."

Slowly the cat appeared part by part in front of her on top of that branch. First her eyes, her nose, her ears and her face. After that her whole blue and violet body stripe by stripe. It's smile grew bigger if even possible and it started to let its head roll around on its missing neck.

Emma stared at her in disbelieve and horror.

"Well, I see you are frightened of me.", the cat said slowly: "But I'm here to help you."

"How could you help me?", she asked still confused: "And where am I?"

"Wonderland, my dear.", the cat answered with a dreamy voice: "And you would be surprised of all the ways I could help you."

"Wonderland.", she said like she was trying the words on her tounge: "The Wonderland? With the mad hatter and the march hare?" Now she was sounding like she didn't want this to be real.

Hook couldn't help but smile. He knew that sound of her voice. She had used it when he had been telling her is moniker. At that time he had actually believed he could trick her.

"Well, the hatter is currently not aviable. But I'm just as much of a help as he could possibly have been. I'm mean, he is mad after all.", the cat said curving its lips into a huge smile again that was characteristic for it: "So do you accept my help now or not?"

"Why do I need your help?"

"Because someone is following you and you are not Alice so you don't know the way to escape properly.", the cat said still smiling at her: "And you definetely don't want this guy to find you. He is working for the red queen after all."

"Why does he want to find me?", asked Emma following the pet without even noticing it through the forest: "And why would it be bad if he did?"

"He just arrived here a day ago and now he is already on her side. If she finds you, you might loose your head.", the cat said in an almost dreamy voice like this would mean nothing: "She always cries: "Up with their heads!", you know?"

"How does she know that I'm here?", Emma asked stumbling over a root: "And what does she want of me? I don't even know her."

"Maybe your heart. She likes to collect those.", the cat that rolling its eyes.

"And where are you taking me now?", she asked protecting her eyes with a hand from the sudden bright daylight.

"To the white queen.", that cat said in a low voice: "She has been reigning here before the red queen arrived. She is nice and beautiful and she will help you for sure."

Emma sighed and looked around. More flower fields. But these ones weren't as huge as the past one she had arrived in. The flowers were smaller.

Hook stared after them for a moment before he faced Smee again: "Why does Cora want her?"

Smee had a serious expression: "She hopes she could get to this land Regina wants to send everyone through her curse. She would have taken her chance over there if she would have been able to do so. In that case she would have left you behind."

Hook frowned: "I knew I couln't trust her. But we had a deal!"

"She is a bad one to deal with, Captain."

Suddenly something caught their attention. In a small distance something was moving between the flowers. It was fast getting nearer every moment.

The Chesire cat smiled widly again and whispered: "You better hide behind that rock and stay sighlent." It disappeared without making any sound.

Emma looked around for the rock it had been talking of in a hurry. It was too far away. She had to run but that would make noise. She took one last look over her shoulder before she sprinted to the rock leaving out the floweres to her feet in order to leave as less tracks as possible. She definetely made a lot of noise. She threw herself behind the huge stone and held her legs close to her body leaning with her back against it. She almost didn't allow herself to breathe and covered her mouth with one hand to prevent herself from screaming or something like that.

"Why are you showing me that?", asked Hook while they watched himself crashing through the flowers followed by a bunch of red knights: "Why is it important?"

"To make you aware of something.", Smee explained in a low voice: "It almost had made a change in your life. It's actually sad that it didn't. It would have changed everything."

Hook frowned at this while he watched himself sending the knights into the dark forest while staying behind himself.

They watched him checking the ground around him carefully. He smirked and stepped slowly forward step by step without making any noice untill he stood in front of the rock Emma was hiding. He stepped around it to see what it was hiding. He surrounded it and appeared with a puzzeled expression again. Than he shook his head and followed the knights into the forest.

Hook stared at the rock, ran to it and checked it himself before he looked at Smee in surprise: "How is that possible?"

Smee grinned: "The white rabbit."

"The what?", Hook asked slowly getting angry: "Where is she?"

"The white rabbit took her with him. He has a tunnel leading from this rock to his home. When he heared her sitting down behind the rock he opened up the tunnel and let her fall into his home.", Smee explained: "So you wouldn't find her."

"And what now?", Hook asked coming back to him.

"Now we will watch you.", Smee took is right arm: "But I've got to warn you. You might not like what you will see."

They hadn't found anything. Hook was pretty much aware of the fact that Cora wouldn't be happy with this. She disliked people running around in her little realm without her controlling them.

He stopped and faced the soldiers she had send with him. They were awfull. They had been too loud all the time and they weren't able to find any tracks. They even destroyed those. Without them he would have been faster, he was pretty sure about this.

They stopped as well and waited for him to give his orders.

"Go ahead alone. Tell your majesty I was still looking for the intruder and send you guys to report back."

The men had scared expressions. It was obvious. They knew they would loose their heads.

Hook left them behind without any more words and went back to the rock. He inspected the ground more carefully kneeling down beside the rock and finally found what he had thought of before. A howl. That was unexpected. He used his hook to upen it up for himself but it wouldn't work. It was closed and if he wanted to get through himself now he would need to dig it himself again.

He stood up again hard thinking. Where was he supposed to search now? What animals was able to dig such a tunnel? Badgers, moles, mice, but those wouldn't make the tunnel as huge as this one and rabbits. But those only used tunnels as entrances to their burrows.

Hook frowned. There was a rabbit he had actually met before here. A white one. A white rabbit that was really scared of Cora and him. He grinned and walked deeper into the field. Would this little animal dare to stand up against Cora?

Hook shook is head slightly. What did she need this intruder for anyway? They would be leaving soon. There was no need for all this anymore. She would not come back again. Wonderland would finally be free from her again. He could almost imagine these white queen to take over the lead again.

Well, he had never been interested in politics anyway.

He sighed leaving the field behind and following a street to the next houses. He didn't care what she needed the intruder for. It was not of his concern. All that mattered for him was to get back to this damned Regina. The witch had tried to fool him. He didn't like to be back stabbed and she would regret it through Cora.

But most important he would finally be able to get his revenge on Rumplestiltskin. The witches had actually finally led him the way to defeat his enemy. He would be powerless in this other world and that was everything he needed to get his revenge.

For now he had to follow Cora's orders. That was not that hard. She wouldn't kill him since he was her only way to get back to her daughter the way she wanted to. It wasn't that hard to follow her lead. The only thing always coming to his mind was the fact that a voice deep within himself didn't want to follow her. It was screaming for him to be carefull to stay away from her and to forbid himself to do what ever she wanted in order to achieve his goals. She wasn't someone to rely on just as her doughter wasn't someone trustable either.

He reached the house he had been thinking of since he had found the tunnel.

Hook was standing behind himself waiting for his very own move that would be following now.

"Captain, what do you think you are thinking about at this moment?", Smee asked.

"That it was weird that Cora wanted this intruder so badly eventhough we would be leaving soon without the intention to ever come back here again."

"Good.", said Smee: "And what do you think that did to you?"

"It made me more carefully?", Hook asked puzzled: "But to be honest, I don't think I was careless untill now."

"Well, you weren't. But you were following her without considering that she might be betraying you.", Smee explained: "You were willing to take her along without any doupt she would sell you to Regina the moment you arrived in the enchanted forest again. Do you remember the first thing you did, when you thought Regina was getting a clue on your betrayal?"

"I was about to leave them both behind.", Hook remembered: "To find a way to keep my memory myself."

"Good.", Smee smiled brightly and looked back at the rabbit's house.


	11. Chapter 11

**Part eleven, an entangled story with a white rabbit and a strange man**

Emma was sitting behind the rock, listening to the footsteps getting nearer every second. The Chesire cat had to be wrong! There was no way they wouldn't find her here. She was scared of what might show up now. She was in Wonderland after all. If she hadn't believed the cat's words so had her very presence mad it awfully clear. There was only one story she knew with a Chesire cat in it and that had to do with Wonderland.

She held back a sigh and heared feet stopping their run behind her back. So now the moment was there. She would need to face what ever was hunting her down. Maybe even this guy the cat had been talking about.

Emma pressed her hand more tightly at her mouth and pressed her eyes together. She tried to slow down her breathing and to relax, when suddenly the ground under herself broke away and sucked her under the ground. She fell through a tunnel unable to stop herself from slipping until she fell screaming on a desk.

Her whole body was aching. She held the back of her hurting head and tried not to think of her left arm, that was hurting even more. She was scared. It would have been of no use to deny that. Her whole body was trembeling. She closed her eyes to calm herself down.

"What are you?"

She suddenly opened her eyes again and was face to face with a white rabbit standing in front of the desk she was lying on. The rabbit was wearing a red west with a monocle in it's pocket and a large cylinder with holes or his big ears. The rabbit itself was really huge either. It was taller than her.

Emma stared up at it.

"What are you?", the rabbit repeated nerved and unsure if it could trust her.

"E-Emma.", she answered not sure what it had asked her. It was obvious what she was! It's question didn't make any sence.

"Okay.", the rabbit said: "What is an Emma?"

"That, that is my name.", Emma said slowly pushing her body off the table top while taking care of her left arm that was still hurting: "Where are we?"

"In my hole.", the rabbit answered: "Who told you to hide behind that stone?"

"The Chesire cat.", Emma answered staring at it. How on earth could all this possibly be real?

"Than come on.", the rabbit smiled, took her right arm and pulled her along: "Than you are the not Alice everyone was talking about when you arrived here. I heared the red queen talk with her newest pet to get you for her. I was worried so I told the others about it. The Chesire cat was the first to find you that old beast. Well, at least it was of help just this once."

"May I ask you something?", Emma said while breathing hard. She had to run to keep up with the rabbit: "Why are you so large?"

The rabbit stopped all of a sudden causing her to crash into its back and turned around to look at her again without even having noticed anything of it: "Right, you drank the juice. I' ve almost forgotten. Well, we will take care of it, when we finally reach my house."

"Will I be save there?", Emma asked relaxing a bit until it pulled her along again.

"No.", the rabbit said happy: "You will only be save if you reach the white queen. She will send you back."

They kept running through the huge tunnel the rabbit was calling its own until they reached a a hatch that was leading into a cellar of a house. The rabbit threw her up through the hole and came up itsself before it closed the hatch again and pulled her upstairs. In the kitchen it placed her on another table before it started to search the cupboard for something. When it had found what it had been looking for, it turned to face her again and gave her a really little part of a cake.

She stared at the crumbs she was holding in her right hand in disbelieve for a moment. That just couldn't be real! If she would tell this anybody they would call her insane and lock her away.

The rabbit stared at her with big eyes and smiled: "Eat it."

She returned her gaze to the crumbs in her hand, sighed and swallowed it. It tasted delicious in a strange way.

Her left arm started to hurt even more than the rest of her whole body. She had to hold back a scream as her body started to grew taller and taller. It felt like she was tearing apart. When her body finally stopped growing her head started to hurt. She was able to watch her blond curles growing over her shoulders. It felt like someone was pulling at each strand of her hair.

She felt tears streaming down her face and than it just stopped.

"Now you're just as huge as Alice the last time she visited us here to kill the Jabberwocky.", the rabbit turned around again to keep on searching its cupboards: "I'll take care of your arm. You won't even notice that it got hurt when I'm done with it."

Emma stood up slowly trying if her feet were able to carry her any longer. It was working. She stumbled over to the next window. There was a streat surrounded by a view more houses and a lot of trees. Now the flowers didn't seem that huge anymore. But it still was. The sunflowers of the field next to the houses reached even the windows of the first floor.

"Is everything here that big?", Emma asked when the rabbit took her arm to stress a paste on it that was gleaming in green for a moment before it finally disappeared in her skin.

"What do you mean?", the rabbit asked confused and put the paste away again.

"Well, the flowers are a bit to large, right?"

"No.", the rabbit said getting its clock out of its vest: "They are excactly the way they are supposed to be."

"I see.", she looked back at the street. Someone was standing there.

"Oh no! I'm getting late!", the rabbit screamed, took her hand and wanted to pull her to the frontdoor when it followed her gaze and saw the man: "Oh no!"

"What?", Emma asked breaking her gaze from the stranger that was walking to the door a grin on his face and looked at the totally scared rabbit that was still holding her right hand with its paw: "What's wrong all of a sudden? Who is that?"

The rabbit made a scared sound and pulled her to the livingroom. It took a walking stick of a wall and pushed it at a special place into the ground. The fireplace swung away from the wall revealing a large passage. The rabbit pushed her inside: "Follow the passage and you will find a huge field of daisys. Behind it there is a large place with nothing. It seems burned. You need to run there and scream for Tweedledee and Tweedledum. They will take you to the white queen."

It closed the secret door right in front of her face again and she was bathed in darkness.

Emma stayed still for a moment unsure what to do next. She couldn't possibly run in such a darkness. The only light was coming through the doorframe at her feet. She would fall down and hurt herself. She would be noisy.

There was noise in the livingroom reaching her ears muted by the fireplace. It was a deep voice. She didn't want to meet a man that was able to scare a rabbit like this. She searched for the tunnel's walls and used it as guidance. The voices from the livingroom turned louder. They were screaming when she wasn't able to see the light breaking through the doorframe anymore. Suddenly the rabbit screamed in a way only a rabbit is able to. It to her bones. The saying was true. There was nothing worse in the world than a rabbit's scream.

Emma didn't care for silence anymore. That screamed had sounded like the rabbit had been killed! She ran, fell to the ground, stood up again and kept on running again. It felt like a déjà vu, but she couldn't remember to ever have tried to escape someone like this.

Her knees were hurting badly and her jeans was cut at the places she had hit the ground. Her hands were bleeding. She knew it even though she couldn't see it. It just felt like it. And something warm was running down her right arm.

She finally was able to see light again. It was right in front of her blinding her. She stumbled on ignoring the pain in her legs. It was strange. That weird guy hadn't even met her yet and she was already scared of him like hell. It was like she knew he would kill her if he'd find her.

Emma was breathing hard, when she stepped between daisys. The floweres were just as small as she was used to it. The good thing was, she would be able to see the burned ground in behind it, the bad thing was, she wouldn't be able to hide. There was nothing but daisys.

Did they have a field for every kind of flower here? That was strange!

Emma sighed and looked back into the tunnel's darkness. No, she didn't have time to wonder about all this anymore. She was still too close to that strange guy! She started to run again. She was almost flying over the daisys, reached the burned ground and looked for the remains of a burned tree trunk. When she found one she ran over to it to hide behind it. She sat down irgnoring the pain screaming from her knees and leaned her head back at the strain or what was left of it.

Emma gave herself a moment to breathe and to calm down again before she started to shout in a low voice: "Tweedledee? Tweedledum?" Nothing. She got up again her legs burning like hell and took a look around. She made sure that she was hidden by the burned tree.

There was nothing. There was nobody. She was all alone! She was all alone and didn't know what to do next.

"Tweedledee? Tweedledum?", she tried again. She winced when she heared a movement behind her back. Emma slowly turned around to take a look over her right shoulder. She frowned. There was nothing.

A giggle at her right ear.

She turned around and faced the remains of the burned tree she was hiding behind. She jumped back staring at it. A huge smile was curved into the burned bark.

Emma frowned again: "Chesire cat?"

"I knew you were a smart kid.", the cat answered showing its eyes on the bark now: "But you should keep running. He has already found the tunnel. He will be here soon."

That guy again? Fear was crawling up her back again: "What happened to the white rabbit?"

"Its head is off.", the cat answered uninterested.

Emma closed her eyes in sorrow: "I'm sorry."

"For what?", the cat asked confused.

"Well, it's dead because of me.", Emma said a little annoyed of the cat.

"It's not.", the chesire cat said: "This is Wonderland after all."

"So what now?", Emma said a little relieved to hear that.

"You need to run over there.", one of its pats appeared at the bark pointing her a direction: "The Tweedles have left in this direction. You were looking for them, weren't you?"

"Yes.", Emma said: "But I guess, I can't run anymore. I can hardly stand."

The cat looked down at her legs than, within an eyeblink, a huge tounge appeared on the bark and licked over her wounds. It disappeared.

"Ew.", Emma stared at her legs: "What was that for?"

"To heal it.", the cat said.

"And where can I find the white queen?", asked Emma remembering what the white rabbit had told her about bringing her back to her world.

"Over there.", the cat pointed into a completely different direction than before.

"Why didn't you tell me that right away? That is completely different of what you've just told me before.", she shouted in disbelieve.

"Well", the cat said: "ask the right questions and you will get the right answers. By the way I would hurry now if I were you. He is almost at the tunnel's end."

Emma stared at the tree with huge eyes and ran off. She jumped over burned branches and fallen trees not even trying to look back. She knew that she would only have a chance if she would get as much space between the tunnel and herself as possible. She didn't even know why she was scared of him that much. Why should she be scared of this stupid… What was even his name?

She stumbled and fell to the ground. Not again! She stood up and took a look back.

He was searching for her tracks in the daisy field. She didn't wait for him to see her and started to run off again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Part twelve, or how to survive with an annoying girl in your way**

Smee had been shouting at him for sending the rabbit to Cora. He couldn't even understand that. It was a rabbit after all. They had grilled them at their campfires before. Why was he reacting like that now all of a sudden? It wasn't like he had taken its head off himself, was it?

After shooting him another disappointed gaze his first maat had taken his arm and they had arrived at this weird lake

They were alone. No one was there. And Hook found himself wondering why they were here once again. He sighed and looked at Smee: "Why are we here?"

"You will see.", Smee said still angry.

"Oh come on.", Hook said: "I didn't do anything we haven't done before."

"It was a rabbit."

"So what? You have been eating rabbits in the past."

"But not in a world where it has the status of a person.", Smee said: "The animals aren't just animals here. I thought you had noticed that."

Hook sighed: "So what? We have killed others before either."

"But not like that."

"For sure like that! We are pirates after all!", Hook said angryly.

"Stop this now. We need to concentrate on the next thing."

"Let me guess. I found her and took her to Cora?", Hook said bored looking over to the place his first maat was watching.

"You would be surprised.", Smee said: "You made something that would have almost left the curse as it was."

Hook frowned: "What?"

Something crashing through the trees caught his attention. It was Emma breathing hard and looking around in confusion. She held her side that was obviously hurting badly. Her trousers were and her jacket were cut and bloody so he was able to see a cut on her right arm. Her hands were bloody either. She had fallen to the ground several times he guessed.

Something behind her caught her attention. She ran further leaving her jacket in distance trying to leave footsteps in another direction into the forest and running back through the wood. She leaned at a tree hiding herself behind it.

Than his old self came through the trees. He was breathing fast just like her but he wasn't hurt even a bit. He waited for a moment to relax a bit more before he checked the ground around the water.

Nobody else noticed it, but he couldn't fool himself after all. He had heared her slipping behind the tree.

Emma held her right arm that was still hurting where she had deepened the cut of earlier when she had been running through the forest. She had been right. It hadn't taken him long to notice her. He had been running after her, chasing her into this forest, where she had managed to get rid of him for maybe ten minutes till she had fallen again.

She leaned her head back at the tree in her back and squeezed her upper arm where she was bleeding. It was hurting and she was sure that if she would take a look she would find it badly suppurating.

He was following the false tracks she had made. But she was sure it wouldn't take him too long to notice that she was hiding somewhere else. She slipped.

She was sure he had noticed it. The question was now in which way she could escape to get a head stard. He wasn't injured even a bit. He seemed to be used to running through forests. Well, she wasn't even a bit. And she was thirsty. New York hadn't been a preparation for this even a bit! And she had had to run a lot there either. She had been stealing. In the beginning she had been really bad in it. But after a little time she had gotten better.

Well, it wasn't helping her now. He would have a real chance to get her. If she was honest to herself she had to admit that she didn't have even a bit of a chance to escape.

Emma stood up again slowly slipping herself up the tree trunk while breathing hard but as quietly as possible. She pushed herself of the tree with her right hand to stood without any help and took a look back over her shoulder. He was gone!

Emma frowned. She turned around to get a better view and checked every place she was able to see. Her jacket was gone as well. She stepped closer to the tree she had used as a shield before carefully placing her feet without making any sound to the ground. That was impossible. He was gone! But was he really? She had seen his huge sword before when he had lost her track in the forest. She would better not take the risk to run into it. He wouldn't even need to get close to her to kill her.

She was scared. But that wouldn't help her now! She had to stay calm. She had seen enough horror movies to know excactly that she was still in danger. The evil had always the bad habit to show up behind his victim.

She slowly turned her head to her left side. There was nothing. She turned around again slowly. Nothing! But the tracks would have let him here after a while. She didn't want to take the risk of him suddenly showing up in front of her.

She had the bad feeling that she should run! But it would cause too much noise and she wasn't able to run fast anymore. It would be better to leave silently but to get his attention even sooner. She made a step forward with her left food. She took care of placing it without making any sound. Her heel touched the ground.

Suddenly someone grabbed her right wist, used her movement while walking to swing her around and she crashed into a strong cheast. She stared at it in shock for a second before she tried to pull away from it backwards. The grib around her waist didn't yield it even got tighter till she almost screamed out of pain. But she pressed her lips together not willing to give him what he expected her to do.

She stared up in his face and met the bluest eyes she had ever seen before. But it were cruel eyes. Eyes without mercy. He was angry. She had been to much of a problem for him.

His expression lightened up after a moment till it almost seemed charming.

"So here we are.", he said with a deep voice.

Emma said nothing but kept staring into those eyes.

He rolled them and grabbed her upper arm, what finally made her scream. He looked at her in surprise. So he hadn't noticed it before.

He checked her upper arm and saw what had caused her to scream. A grin appeared on his lips. That was not good. If she was thinking about this whole situation now the biggest thread to her was this hook he used to replace his left hand with. Well, and the bloody sword he was carrying with him.

She frowned when he took out a water bladder and had to hold back a scream when he let something drop on her wound that was burning like hell. Than he took off his scarf to put it around her wound: "Need you alive, love."

She clenched her teeth together.

"What? Not asking what for?", he said jokingly but he couldn't fool her: "Well, I've been alone for such a long time. You might be of use for me."

He even played the charming one while telling her to be his whore even though it wasn't the truth. Bloody old pervert!

"Why aren't you saying anything? Scared to much, lass?"

"I'm just not interested in talking with an old perverted liar, that's all.", she said steping back from him.

"Woo.", he said playing to be impressed with a huge grin: "You're a tough lass. Well, at least you're playing one. But you know what? I can see the fear in your eyes. So you better do, what I say."

"Why are you here?", she asked staring at him.

"To make sure that you are save.", he said smiling: "I'm a gentleman after all."

"For sure.", she said sarcastically: "Who should probably believe you that?"

He stepped closer expecting her to step back, but she didn't, even though she was scared like hell: "Well, you. What makes you believe that I was lying to you? What reason could I possibly have to harm you?"

"What reason did you have to harm the white rabbit?", touché.

"What is your name?"

"Why would you want to know that if you are going to hurt me anyway?", she sounded tougher than she was feeling. He could see it in her eyes.

"Fine, than I call you Alice.", he said jokingly: "So come on Alice. We have got to visit a queen."

"You think you're funny?", she said shooting him a disbelievingly glare: "Why don't you answer just a single question? I know you are going to kill me and if it's not you doing it, the queen will do it. So what's the use in hiding it?"

He grabbed her left upper arm so tight that it was hurting and stepped as close that his chest was almost touching her: "If you know that already stop waisting my time."

"Why are you doing this to me?", she clenched her teeth together to hold back a plea.

"Because I need her to get out of here again.", he growled: "I've got a ship to lead."

"Pirate?"

"How do you know?", he frowned a bit surprised.

"Let's say I know a thief if I see one.", she grinned the fear suddenly slowly vanishing from her eyes.

"Why tha-", he froze slowly looking down his body. She had stolen his knife without him even noticing it. Impressive. The problem was the place she was pointing it at right now. It was his precious place.

"Let go.", she said warningly.

"You think you can fool a pirate?", he said in disbelieve but stepping back: "Stupid little girl."

"Not me.", she smiled almost like a pirate: "But them."

Hook frowned and turned around. At the lake were two men searching for something. They hadn't seen them yet but it wouldn't take long anymore. He spun, grabbed her right hand with the knife, drew it aside and wanted to hold her mouth shut, when she was already screaming for help. He pulled her deeper into the woods hiding behind a tree like she had done before with her back at his chest. She tried to get rid of his hold on her but failed.

Now he had a problem. If those two would find them he wouldn't be able to get rid of them and to keep her at placeThose two were even quiet big and strong. It might take him a while beat them. Maybe even long enough for her to escape. . If he would knock her out he would need to carry her later on and that would cost him too much time.

He sighed angrily while she was still trying to free herself. His hand upon her mouth was just stopping her from shouting anything but it wasn't keeping her completely quiet.

"Do you know them?", he whispered angryly in her left ear. She tried to push him with her head away. Just like a wildcat.

"I will kill them and that will be your fault.", he whispered again.

She suddenly turned silent again breathing hard because she had tried to get free so much. He loosend his grib above her mouth a bit, when he noticed how she got weaker. He hadn't intended to stop her from breathing in the first place.

She used this moment to push her elbow hurtingly into his side what caused him to let go of her to lean forward. She jumped out of his little hideout and ran deeper into the forest.

He frowned. So she hadn't intended to get close to those two in the first place. It had just been a bluff.

So running again? Hook sighed. Fine than. If she wanted to walk that plank he would push her down!

This little moment with this strange guy had given her a chance to recover from all this running before. Her right arm was still hurting a lot but it wasn't that much of a problem anymore because he had tight it up really strong.

She ran through the forest again hoping for a little help. She didn't want to take the risk of meeting this two awfull looking men they had seen at the lake before. But she had to get back to it. She was still thirsty and maybe those two could give her an opportunity to get a little sip of water.

Emma heared him following her. He was fast!

"How are you?", a smile appeared in the air right in front of her. She almost stumbled because she was so startled. It was the Chesire cat hanging in the air always a step ahead of her even though she kept running.

"I need help.", even she noticed how helpless she was sounding: "Do something!"

"I already did.", the cat said: "But you ran into the wrong direction. Those guys are Tweedledee and Tweedledrum."

"What?", she screamed in disbelieve.

"Well, they are already following you."

"What should I do now? If I stop he will get me again and just disappear with me before they even reach us."

"Well, don't play with Captain Hook.", the cat said with an even brighter smile: "But I know something that could help you. We are in Wonderland after all."

It disappeared again. She noticed something at her feet. The plants were moving! Something behind her was crashing into the ground. She stopped and turned around when she heared him cursing the world. He was lying on the ground trying to cut himself loose again.

Emma took the opportunity. She ran back leaving a lot of space between him and her feet. She jumped over a tree that was lying on the ground, when she heared him using his sword to cut himself finally loose again. She kept running like her life was depending on it.

He was getting closer. There were no plants at the ground anymore that would be able to grab him. He was fast.

There was some noise in front of her. Tweedledee and Tweedledrum! They were getting closer! She just tried to speed up when the pirate suddenly swung his arms around her waist from behind, hurting her a lot, to pull her into the other direction.

Emma tried to get rid of him: "Tweedledee, Tweedledrum! I'm here!"

"That won't help anymore.", he said breathing hard. Hook swung her around, sat her to the ground, looked at her dangerously and pushed her forward: "Enough playing now. Come on!"

He swung her around again, until she was standing with her back to him and grabbed her arms to pull them behind her back. It was worthless to fight him. He was too strong for her.

When he pushed her forward again he suddenly made an unusually sound and let go of her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Part thirteen, or how to survive beeing hold captive by a lovely lass**

Hook stared at the scene in front of him in disbelieve. Did that really happen? Him the great captain Hook beeing tricked and beaten by a girl and two idiots? That was not possible, was it?

"Come on, Smee.", he said: "You have made that up, haven't you? It's okay. The joke is over. What happened really?"

"Just that.", Smee said seriously.

"Than I'm not surprised I've forgotten that."

"Well, if you look at it, than it's just the same thing that made you loose to her when you two were fighting over the compass.", Smee grinned: "You lost yourself in playing with her. And I even believe you weren't sure about killing her as well."

"What?", Hook asked staring at him: "No! I was just playing with her."

"Yeah, for sure.", Smee said giving him a bad feeling: "And I guess you playing too much with her is the reason for Tweedledee and Tweedledrum to finally find you and knock you out."

"Yeah.", Hook said still wondering if it was the truth.

Smee looked at him in sorrow before he turned to face those four people in front of him again. They had followed them to the edge of the queen of hearts' realm. Tweedledrum had been carrying him all the way. The brothers were weird. They were looking like strong fighters with really big muscels barilly wearing anything because everything was cut. They were looking more dangerous than his men on the Jolly Roger had.

"Where are they taking me?"

"To the white queen.", Smee answered like it was obvious.

"I can't remember any of this."

"I can imagine that."

"And she will really help me to get back again?", Emma asked hopefully.

The brothers grunted what she understood as a "Yes." They weren't talking so much anyway. She was imagening it to always to be like this. It was more comforting for her than to imagine that it was her fault that they were always silent.

They had been walking a lot since they had saved her in this forest and finally Hook woke up again. He was hanging from one of the brother's shoulders, his hands bound, the hook gone, but he was able to look at her. Somehow she got the impression that she would wish for the silence to come back in a few moments.

"Do you have fun?", he asked sarcastically.

"Until now I was at least not nerved.", she countered.

"Can't imagine that to be possible. They haven't been talking for hours.", he said almost smiling: "I guess you were bored until now that I woke up again."

"Why are you following a woman's orders who keeps cutting heads off?", she asked in confusion: "You don't even trust her. And you haven't been sleeping till now. I noticed."

"You're such a naïve girl.", he almost lughed: "But you have guts. I'm impressed. But that won't help you. She can't bring you back."

"Liar."

"You don't believe me?"

"For sure not."

"Well, at least you will show me the way to find her again later on.", he grinned: "The queen will be glad to get her heart."

"You won't do that."

"Oh, but I will.", he said focusing on her eyes. There was something in his look that send chills down her back. It wasn't the nice kind of chills.

"She will be warned.", Emma said: "And you will need to get away first."

"You think I'm not able to do so?", his voice was deep: "But even if you let me go now, I'll find it. I'll just follow you."

She ignored him again. It was more healthy for her.

"How old are you?"

"Why would you want to know?"

"Hm…I was just thinking you would make a great pirate."

"Liar.", she said bored.

"You even stole Tweedledee's knife not to mention my own one.", he grinned at her, while Tweedledee started to check his weapons. So they were able to hear them. She threw it behind without them noticing it.

Hook smiled at her. It was almost charming. But she couldn't trust him! He was a liar! And a Pirat! There was no way she could ever trust him. But he was handsome even though she would never possibly admit that! On top of that he was much too old for her. She was just sixteen after all.

Tweedledee fell back searching for his knife for a moment.

"Well, I already thought you would do that.", he smiled putting his hook back at his left hand. Wait, his hook? When did he get it back? Tweedledrum had stuck it in a backpocket of his pants when they had saved her of him.

Emma frowned, but before she had been able to do something he had bound himself loose with his hook, crashed it at Tweedledrum's heat and knocked him out with that. She stepped back. Tweedledee was still there! She stepped back further.

"What? Running again?", Hook said with a deep voice getting closer very fast.

"No need for that.", Emma said unsure if that was true. After all she had given him this opportunity through throwing away that knife.

He rose an eyebrow: "Really?"

"Yes.", she said but Tweedledee wasn't coming back while he got even closer. She didn't dare to turn around to look for him while Hook was getting so close that he almost touched her.

He bit his bottom lip and stared down on her: "You have guts I have to admit, but you are a little stupid either."

He noticed her eying something behind his back and turned around just in time to dodge. Tweedledrum hadn't been as unconcious as he had believed him to be. The strong body builder waved his arm at him while pulling his axe with the other one.

Hook jumped aside avoiding the axe Tweedledrum was using against him now and let himself fall to the ground using his leg to take away his balance. That was more difficult than he had expected it to be. He rolled to the side with a hurting leg and the axe pushed into the ground at the place his head had just been a moment before. He jumped to his feed again, ran over to Emma and got his sward she was carrying around her waist. She jumped back in surprise as he swung it around and blocked a new attack. Tweedledrum was strong.

He pushed him away and kicked him between the legs. Tweedledrum didn't even notice anything. An Eunuch? Hook frowned while he managed to get the axe out of his hands. But that didn't stop him. He avoided his sword, grabbed his leg and his shoulder and held him up above his own head. Hook had let the handle of his sword fall onto the body builder's head and knocked him finally out. He fell to the ground breathing hard, stood up and kicked him into his face just to make sure he wouldn't stand up again, before he turned to face the girl again. But she was gone.

Hook sighed. Not again! He looked around when he suddenly saw Tweedledee coming. He picked up his sword and left in any direction.

Emma hadn't wanted to see the end of this fight. They were too dangerous for her all together. She didn't trust any of them even as far as she was able to throw them and that meant not even a bit!

She was hiding behind a bush. The pirate had escaped himself obviously not wanting to face the other brother, too. Now Tweedledee was hepling his brother to get up again. Those two weren't as smart as remembering her so she didn't expect them to come after her. It was more likely that they would hunt him down now. The only problem now was, that she was alone again now.

She waited untill they were gone either, before she stood up again and took a look around. There was noone there. Not even the Chesire cat was appearing anywhere. She sighed. At least she had still Hook's knife. She got it out of her boot and looked at it for a brief moment. It was light. Maybe she would be able to use it.

Hook ran. It was almost rediculous. Just hours ago he had been the one hunting this girl and now he was escaping the Tweedlebrothers. He reached a tree and managed to climb up. He stayed there not making any sound while the brothers ran past under him. When he was sure that they were gone, he jumped off again and headed back to search for her tracks.

He would find her again. But he wasn't sure what to do with her. He couldn't just let her run around here because someone would get her, but he didn't want to take her to Cora. The bloody witch would betray him if he would. He sighed. They hadn't told her, that the white queen was actually eating humen. He liked the girl somehow too much to let that happen to her.

He reached the place he had been fighting Tweedledrum. She was gone but he hadn't expected to her to stay here. She was a smart girl after all. He checked the ground and finally found what he had been looking for. He looked in the direction she had escaped again.

That might be a solution for him. He could kill her if it wouldn't work, even though it might not be easy for him. She had her charms after all.

"What were you thinking there?"

"I don't know. I can't remember that all of this even happened.", he rolled his eyes: "By the way, why can't I remember it?"

Smee sighed: "It's got to do with Rumplestiltskin's spell. No one was supposed to remember any of it. For Emma it was always just like a dream. Maybe she does remember parts of it, but I guess not the important stuff."

"Where are we going now?", Hook followed his first maat through a tree to another forest. There were mushrooms everywhere. But they were so huge that they weren't able to see their tops. They walked between them through the shadows.

"Where are we?", Hook asked: "And how did I know all this places?"

"Cora.", Smee explained: "She had shown you around in order to help her handle a few last things she had to do before she could leave with you again. Right now we are in another forest."

"I can see.", Hook said disappointed: "But where are we going?"

"To the blue caterpillar.", Smee answered him: "We are almost there."

"And where are Emma and I?"

"You'll see along the way.", Smee said walking out a bit faster: "Come on. We need to hurry a bit."


	14. Chapter 14

**Part fourteen, or how to survive without understanding yourself anymore**

Emma was lost. There was no way to deny that! Everywhere were mushrooms or at least she believed it were mushrooms. They were so huge she couldn't see anything else but their bottoms.

Well, if that would keep on today she would definetely appreciate that Alice had managed to survive in this.

"Unbelievable that a little girl was able to find her way at this place.", she mumbled: "And to stay alive."

"Who are you talking about?"

She froze on the spot. To her left the Pirate was leaning at the stalk of a mushroom his ankles crossed holding his arms in front of his chest crossed as well. He wasn't looking at her. He knew just as much as she did that she wouldn't try to run away anymore. She was sick of it and on top she didn't even know where to run anymore.

"Girl named Alice."

"I've heared of her. She was brought to the white queen."

"Yeah. She had to kill the Jabberwalky."

"No. She was eaten by the white queen."

Emma stared at him: "What?"

"Well, these white queen as a special taste for humen.", he explained pushing himself off the stalk and walking slowly towards her: "What are you going to do now?"

"That's strange. I actually wanted to ask you that.", she watched every single move he made.

"I've decided that I don't want to bring you back to the red queen.", he stopped in front of her staring into her eyes.

She held his gaze: "So what? Want to bring me to the white one instead now?"

"How cruel do you think I am?", he said a grin appearing on his lips.

She bit her bottom lip: "You are a pirate after all."

He chuckled: "And you are a little thief. Give me my knife back."

She stared at the hand he was holding out to her for a moment. She didn't want to give it back. She never gave anything back she stole. He demandingly shrugged with his fingers. Emma sighed and got the knife out of her back where she had been wearing it stuck in her pants: "So what now?"

"You want to get back where you came from?", he asked checking his knife before meeting her gaze again. He was close. Very close.

"And you would help me?", she said disbelievingly: "Why that?"

"That's unimportant.", he walked past her: "Come on. We need to find the blue caterpillar. It's actually living in this forest."

"Why the blue caterpillar?"

"Because it's the only one beeing able to help you without trying to kill you.", he rolled his eyes.

"So the red queen would want to kill me as well?"

"Maybe."

"But in that case you would get rid of me.", she frowned: "Why are you helping me than?"

He suddenly stopped and tourned around to face her again. He was annoyed: "I just told you. It is unimportant."

"And that is obviously a lie.", she said without considdering the consequences.

He stepped closer till his chest was almost touching hers frowning while looking deep into her eyes: "Tell me, how do you know when I'm lying?"

She tried to step back but he got a hold on her upper arm with his scarf: "I don't know. I just do." She got a hold on herself again: "Maybe you are just a bad liar."

"I'm not. I'm a pirate after all.", he kept staring into her eyes seeming a bit confused: "Stop asking me stupid questions."

"And who decides what a stupid question is?", she asked annoyed. That was the sentence adults always used on her to shut her up.

"Me!"

"And how will I know if a question is stupid if you won't tell me that it is, when you don't know the question, because I'm not allowed to ask it?", she beat him with pure logic.

Hook sighed. That was annoying: "Don't play dumb. Just stop asking me questions."

Emma rolled her eyes not noticing that he suddenly focused on her lips: "I wasn't playing dumb. I was just logical."

He kept silent. She looked at him. He was frowning again. She frowned herself. What was he looking at. Suddenly she was feeling really uneasy. She could feel warmth crawling up her cheeks. She watched his eyes but he wouldn't look up into hers again.

"What…What's wrong?", she stuttered cursing herself for it: "Pirate?"

He snapped out of whatever he had been in and met her gaze again: "Come on. We need to find that bloody caterpillar."

"We are never bloody.", someone suddenly said from above. They looked up in surprise but weren't able to see anything else but the bottom of a mushrooms screen. Hook shot her a look, let go of her arm and stepped back until he was able to see something.

Emma watched him a little scared.

"Who are you?", Hook asked unpolite.

"A caterpillar.", the caterpillar said bored: "Obviously."

"Are you the blue caterpillar?", Emma asked stepping over to Hook.

"Well, I am blue."

Emma frowned unsure what to do next and gave Hook a look. The pirate stared up at the thing: "Can you help her?"

"With what?"

"To find a way back to my world?", Emma asked hopefully.

"Maybe.", the caterpillar kept smoking.

"Can you or can't you?", Hook asked annoyed: "What do you mean with maybe?"

"Well that depends on if you even want to get back."

Hook chuckled not noticing that Emma was suddenly staring up at it. He turned to face her and met her undecided gaze. He frowned.

"What is this about?", he asked her slowly.

"Well, she doesn't know if she wants to get back there.", the caterpillar explained.

"Who would possibly be willing to stay here?", Hook asked confused.

The caterpillar stopped smoking for a moment and leaned to finally face them: "Maybe it's not about where but more about the fun?"

"What fun?", Emma shrugged: "I can't imagine to fall through a tunnel, to suddenly grow, to have to escape all the time and not to be able to trust anyone to be fun."

Hook hissed his eyebrows: "You see? She wants to get back."

"Really?", the caterpillar asked again: "Think about it carefully. Maybe that's not what I'm talking about." It leaned back again to smoke.

Emma frowned: "Than what are you talking about?"

"I'd like to know either.", Hook said.

"Maybe you little pirate should be thinking of the reason you don't want to kill her. It would be easier for you.", it said cold.

Hook froze: "That's not the point. Yust get her back where she came from."

Emma stared at her: "Why don't you want to do that anymore?"

"I just told you: Stop asking stupid questions.", he said annoyed: "How can we bring her back?"

"Hit her.", the caterpillar said annoyed: "And now leave me alone again. I want to get back the silence that allows to think."

"What do you mean with hitting me?", Emma asked worried.

It didn't answer. Great.

Hook stared at her thinking for moment, before he just pushed her. She stumbled back and stared at him in confusion: "What was that about?"

"I hit you.", Hook frowned: "Just like it said."

"Well, but it didn't help at all.", Emma said angrily: "So what now?"

"Did it hurt?"

"No."

"Maybe that is the reason?", he wondered.

She stared at him in disbelieve: "No!"

"No what?", he asked with a chuckle.

"You must not hurt me!", Emma said decidingly: "It was talking of pushing me."

Hook smiled evily: "No it said we need to hit you."

"But it meant pushing me.", Emma insisted.

"No, it didn't."

"But it did."

"Lass, I just pushed you and it didn't work even a bit.", Hook stepped closer.

Emma stepped back still frowning: "But I already got hurt. It didn't work! There is no point in hitting me!"

He bit his bottom lip and stopped. He sighed in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair.

"What now?", Emma asked with a low voice. She was worried.

"Maybe you didn't want to get back than.", Hook expressed his thoughts on this: "Maybe hurting didn't work because of this?"

Emma frowned ignoring him coming closer again: "No. I was fearing for my life. I definetely wanted to get back!"

"Than what about now?", he asked with a deep voice.

Emma frowned without answering him and focused a spot above his right shoulder.

"Close your eyes."

"What?", she stared at him in surprise because she suddenly noticed that he had gotten this close again already.

"Just close them."

She waited a moment before she squeezed her eyes still frowning: "And what now?"

"Think about how badly you want to get back to where you came from. Imagine everything that is important to you and everything that would be worth coming back.", he stared at her face finally focusing her lips and frowned. What was wrong with him? Why was he wondering what it could be like to kiss her all of a sudden? Maybe because she was so different from all the other women he had met since Milah's death? It definetely wasn't love. He was just curious. He knew it. He could feel it.

"Okay. And what now?", she asked sounding like she didn't believe this would work. If he was honest than he wasn't sure himself.

He leaned into her without really noticing it, grabbed her shoulders with his right and and his left ancle and pushed her. She fell into him and vanished just in the moment their lips would have touched.

"What do you say now?", Smee asked after a moment.

Hook just stared at himself opening his eyes again, looking around for a moment and staring at the ground when he noticed that he was alone all of a sudden. He definetely couldn't remember that. He frowned.

"You know what I meant before about you almost stopping her from breaking the curse now?", Smee kept asking.

"No.", Hook answered without really noticing it. He was lost in his thoughts too much.

"Shall I explain?", Smee touched his back gently and took him along: "Or don't you need that?"

"Explain.", Hook suddenly met his gaze in confusion.

Smee sighed with a huge smile: "She wasn't sure if she should leave because she liked to argue with you too much. She was just sixteen after all. I guess she had a little crush on you."

Hook frowned again.

"And you noticed that there was still hope for you left. You came up with the idea that you might be able to love again once you'd finally get your revenge after meeting her here.", Smee explained: "But I guess this is enough for today."

"What happened to her after this?", Hook asked still frowning: "Show me."

"You should ask her that yourself. That's something she should tell you if she wants to. But to be honest, you haven't done anything to make her trust you enough to do so till now."

The first maat pushed him forward into a river.


	15. Chapter 15

**Part fifteen, or how to survive doing the right thing**

He heared the ocean and the wind again. Someone was breathing loud beside him. It was really cold. He was freezing. He opened his eyes slowly and found himself lying on the ground again. But this time he was lying on stones not on the Jolly Roger. He coughed and pushed himself off the floor in order to sit up. He was soaked from had to toe.

"Are you alright?", asked someone from beside him. He turned to meet Emma's eyes. She was soaked as well. Hook frowned.

"Tell me one thing.", she seemed angry: "What have you been doing here?"

Hook needed a moment to remember what he had wanted to do before he met Smee in Wonderland. Yeah, he had wanted to visit the real Smee taking care of Belle who he had kidnapped. But he couldn't possibly tell Emma.

"I was out for a walk."

"In winter? In the middle of the night? That close to the ocean?", she didn't believe him. He should have known it: "Come on. I told you, you can't lie to me. And by the way that was a really bad lie!"

"Why are you so wet?", he looked at her in confusion.

"Maybe because I had to get a stupid pirate out of the ocean again before he died without telling me where he was hiding Belle!", she said angryly making it sound like a rediculous idea: "By the way, why didn't you get yourself out again? Don't tell me you couldn't swim."

He almost laughed: "Of course I can. I'm a pirate."

Emma stood up. She seemed so angry that she seemed to be able to explode every second right in front of him: "Fine. Do as you please but don't expect me to help you again."

She stared at him freezing just as much as him: "So? Where is Belle?"

"I already told you. I don't know."

"Hook. You are lying to me over and over again. Don't you think you owe me after that?", she made a movement that should include the whole situation really angry. Well, he couldn't blame her for that. He was almost sure that he would have been just as angry as she was now if he would have been in her situation. But there was no way he could tell her about Belle. He still needed her. She needed to know something after spending all that time with this bloody crocodile. Something that could be of use for him.

"So what? You're not talking to me anymore now?", she was really freezing badly. Her lips were even blue.

He frowned. Why was he looking at her lips now? Eyes, okay. He should focus on her eyes.

"Are you sure you didn't get hurt?", she was frowning now thinking he was insane. Well, maybe he was after everything that seemed to have happened to him in the last hours.

Hook shook his head and finally stood up: "I didn't."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Where is Belle?", she said almost growling emphasizing every single word: "Tell me."

He bit his tounge not willing to say anything.

She shot him an disappointed gaze: "Come on Hook. It's freezing! She could die out here because of this coldness and you are the only one who could do something about it. So get you're ass up and at least tell me where she is!"

He stared at her: "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Why do you want me to do something good that badly?"

"What?", she sounded incredulous: "This is not about you, Hook. She could die! It's about her."

"She is fine."

Emma froze staring at him in confusion: "What?"

"She is fine.", he repeated: "Do you believe me that? I'm not lying."

"At least you believe you are not.", she said still frowning.

What? That was what this lying thing was about? Might be usefull to know in the future.

"Where is she?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Maybe because you are hurting not only Gold by doing this.", she answered appealing to his conscience: "You said you were a gentleman, remember? Prove it!"

He was surprised. He couldn't deny it. He had never been asked to do it: "This has got nothing to do with beeing a gentleman."

"But it has."

"Than let's say I'm not always a gentleman."

"Wow, now I'm disappointed.", Emma said sarcastically: "Didn't you say you were always a gentleman?"

"Well, I've made up my mind."

"Fine.", she was even angrier than before: "Than see it as a challenge."

Wow, she was good. But it wouldn't change anything.

He turned around and headed back to the Jolly Roger. He didn't need to turn around to know that she was following him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll change." "Again" he added in his mind. This day was definetely awfull. But it had started so well. He had got a hold on Belle finally. He would have never thought that the day would possibly end like this.

He looked over his shoulder: "You should do that as well, by the way. You'll catch a cold if you keep beeing out here."

Silence. He stopped in surprise.

"Why are you doing this?", he almost didn't hear her. It had only been a whisper and she hadn't kept up with him the way he had expected her to do. Somehow she was sounding hurt. He couldn't understand that.

"You know that.", he turned to face her and was shocked to meet such an disappointed gaze. It was almost hurting himself.

"All I know is that you've lost Milah through him.", she said staring at him unable to understand something. He wasn't sure what she didn't understand.

"And that is all you need to understand.", he said actually making himself sure of it. He didn't want to let her in any further. The last time he had done so she had kicked him away. But that wasn't the actual reason. It was hurting too much to talk about it and he didn't want to share it with her. It was something that only belonged to himself and to those who had been there when it happened. He didn't want his actions to be judged through his painfull past with Milah and that bastard.

She stepped back like he had slapped her breathing out loudly: "And you expected me to trust you." She turned around to walk back.

Hook frowned: "Where are you going?"

"If you don't want to help me I'll just keep searching.", she said without even stopping or facing him again.

"You could die!", his voice grew louder. He found himself almost shouting at her.

Now she stopped. He was almost breathing out in relieve.

"She might die as well.", she walked on again. He stared at her in disbelieve his pulse rushing again. That wasn't real. It just couldn't be real!

Hook followed her rushing to catch up to her. He wanted to stop her to pull her around to face him again and to make her to stop searching even if it meant to hurt her. But when he had just reached her, he found himself hesitating. He suddenly stopped staring at her back that was getting into distance again.

"Okay."

She stopped.

"I'll get her back again. But you won't come along. We'll change first."

She gave him a look that told him excactly that she wasn't believing him.

Hook sighed: "I promise."

"What? I didn't hear you."

"I promise.", he repeated loud enough for her to hear him.

She came closer again: "And what do you promise?"

"Quiet picky today, aren't you?"

"Hook.", she almost growled staring right into his eyes.

He sighed again. He didn't even know why he was doing that. He rolled his eyes: "I promise to let her go again after we've finally changed."

"That's not percisely enough.", Emma said. She wanted more than he was willing to give her and she knew it. He could read it in her eyes.

"Fine. Than I promise to free her right after we've changed? Without harming her? Satisfied?", he sounded annoyed a lot.

"And you bring her back to Storybrook instead of leaving her just within the woods?", she asked making it actually a condition to his promise.

Hook bit his lip. He was angry a lot. She had bested him again and she knew it. But he didn't even understand why he had given up again. It could have been her decicion to risk her life. That was nothing that had to concern him.

A picture of her beeing sixteen shot up in his mind. So these bloody journeys were finally changing him? No, that shouldn't ever happen!

But it did. He was suddenly as sure of it that it was almost hurting physically. Yeah. He was actually watching Smee bringing her back to the town. That was signing his loss. He sighed and walked back to the Jolly Roger where Emma was changing into something warm and dry right now.

It was unbelievable. She had bested him again. And he didn't even know why! She had had nothing she could have lured him out with like back in the enchanted forest with the ogres or the compass she had had in her hand all of a sudden.

That was frustrating!


	16. Chapter 16

**Part sixteen, or how to survive arguing with someone about important stuff**

Emma looked around focusing on everything surrounding her. So that's how a pirate was living like? She hadn't been interested in such things before but to see it now was definetely something. She walked over to a mirror closet. The mirror was hidden underneath a white blanket. She didn't want to take it away. Hook might have a good reason to hide it. On the closet itself was a little box looking like a small chest and a picture. It was drawn and showed a woman with brown curls that reached her shoulders. She was dressed like a pirate holding a sword in her right hand and smiling softly out of the picture.

Milah?

She had been beautiful. But why had Rumplestiltskin killed her? How had he done that? How had Hook found out about it? Had there been a fight? Had there been a connection between Milah and Gold? And if yes than what was these connection about? What could turn a man into someone only hunting for revenge? But maybe he had always been like this and his condition now had nothing to do with Milah's death?

She frowned. That were too many questions and every second she kept looking at this picture would create even more popping up in her head. Questions she would never ask because she knew she would never get a proper answer. And maybe it even wasn't important.

She placed the picture carefully back on the closet and turned around leaning her back at it. Her clothes were hanging above the chair that was standing behind the huge writingdesk. She walked over to it and looked down on the land cards that were spreading over the table. He had painted around on it. But those cards were of no use for him here.

"Found something interesting?"

She didn't even turn around to face him but kept focusing on those cards. There was one hidden under the rest that seemed different. She frowned and reached for it, but he took it away and put it into his cloak, which he had dressed in previously to go and free Belle again.

He seemed angry. Emma could imagine the reason. She had bested him again even though she couldn't really understand the reason he had given up to her.

"So?", Emma asked: "Where is Belle?"

"Back in her little library.", he turned his back on her and walked over to the closet with the mirror she had been standing before: "Are you okay?"

He sounded like he didn't really want to ask this. She could almost hear him frowning.

"Yes. Thanks.", she stared at his back unable to understand anything that was going on right now: "What's wrong with you tonight? You are strange."

He chuckled without happyness like she had made a bad joke but he didn't turn to face her. He was holding something in his hand and she would bet it was the picture of the woman who was probably Milah.

"Is that Milah?", she asked carefully with a softly voice. She watched him. But he didn't even react. He just kept looking down on that picture. Oh yes…he had loved her. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It had to be awfull to live with such a loss.

"She was the most important person to me.", he whispered still staring down on it.

"I'm sorry.", it was out before she even thought about it but she really meant it.

"Can you imagine such a feeling?"

"What?"

"I guess not.", he said and his voice was somehow bitter: "Or you wouldn't always get in my way."

Emma frowned: "Do you think revenge will help you?" It was a simple question implying nothing else but what she had asked. She hadn't even sounded like she was blaming him for it or something like that. But somehow he seemed to have understood it like that.

"What do you know?", he growled and he wasn't the person she knew even a bit anymore: "You don't know nothing. He deserves it. So finally stop getting in my way!"

She stared at him. He was slowly turning around to her. There was nothing left of him in his eyes anymore. They were dark and mercyless. She had never seen him like this before. It made her wonder how Milah had been able to fall in love with him if had been like this when they had met the first time.

He hadn't even been looking like that when he had left her in that cell telling her she was useless back in the enchanted forest. The bean…. He had used it as a symbol for herself. He had been diappointed in her because she had left him behind chaned up at the giant's place. He had been angry with her as well, but the thing that had troubled her the most back than had been the disappointment in his eyes. He had been looking down on her because she had betrayed him.

"No.", she said softly holding his gaze. She new he would freak out now and maybe she was even a bit afraid of what he would do.

He stepped closer: "Like I said. There is no need for a savior. You are useless."

"I might be the savior.", she said slowly: "But my task can't be to help you with your revenge. It's pointless. It won't bring Milah back to you and you won't get anything through it."

He clenched his teeth together so his jaw was hardening still staring down on her.

"If you thought I would help you than you are right. Than I am useless for you."

He stepped back breathing out angry and leaned back at the closet crossing his arms in front of his chest: "Than that's it."

Emma took her stuff and walked over to the door: "Maybe beeing the savior is not about helping you to get your revenge but helping you to let go of it. How do you think about that?"

Hook frowned angry and turned to face her but the doorframe was empty. She was gone.

She knew nothing. The only thing that would help him was to get his revenge. The only thing that could help him was to finally win over the bloody crocodile. He had been wrong blinded by the things Smee and Pan boy had showed him. He should have known it better. She was nothing he wanted to deal with. And if she really was able to change him that much he would better stay away from her. He had no intention to let go of his plans. Rumplestiltskin had to die and he would find a way to kill him!

Smee put his head through the door: "Was that just Emma Swan?"

"Yes."

"What did she want?", he asked confused.

"Talking nonsense.", he pushed himself off the closet and walked over to his first maat: "We need to think of something new. Did she tell you anything?"

"No.", Smee said: "The only thing she kept saying was, that he wasn't the same guy anymore and that she couldn't understand our wish to kill him."

"That's all?"

"She said we should finally leave him alone since he only wanted to find his son."

"The son?", Hook frowned: "He is here either? Who is it? Where is he?"

"I don't know.", Smee said slowly: "It seems like he doesn't know it himself. That's why he send Emma away back than. She was supposed to find him and came back with this strange Neal."

Hook looked back at the picture of Milah and bit his bottom lip: "Get to the town and try to find out everything about this son."

"Captain.", the maat said carefully: "He would also be Milah's son."

"Just do as you're told!"

Hook went back to his writing desk and layed the card he had been hiding from Emma back on top. He walked over to his chair and sat down. Something pushed in his back. He reached back and grabbed something. It was a necklace. Emma's necklace.

He stared at it for a moment before he placed it beside the card and focused on that again. It was a card of the tunnel system below the town. He had marked the place Rumplestiltskin's shop was. It wouldn't be easy to get there. He was sure the old crocodile was using magic to keep this place safe.

His gaze went back to the necklace without him intending to look at it in the first place. Her voice was echoing in his mind: "Maybe beeing the savior is not about helping you to get your revenge but helping you to let go of it. How do you think about that?"

He sighed and bit his lip. No. He had to achieve his revenge. He owed it to Milah. She deserved to be avenged! It was everything that was left for him to do for her and he would prefer die over to stop.

"What is that?", asked someone from behind.

He turned around startled and found himself face to face with a little boy staring up to him. His hair was brown and his eyes were of the same kind as Emma's. Her son? Henry? What was he doing here and how had he gotten here without him noticing it?

Hook frowned: "What are you doing brat?"

"You know, I do have a name.", he said trying to get a glimbse of the card lying on the desk: "And you know that name!"

Hook put used his hand to blockate his gaze: "Okay Henry. What are you doing here? This is not a place to play around especially not this late, you know?"

The boy chuckled: "I'm here to show you the present."

Hook couldn't help but stare at him: "You?"

"Yes.", he said: "The only other choice would have been Gold but we were sure you would just keep trying to kill him not to mention your distrust. It would have been pointless."

"And you show me the present?", he said in disbelieve: "What's the point in that?"

"Well, you'll see. But you need to come along with me.", Henry watched him looking back at the card on the desk with a longing gaze: "Oh, you won't be able to use this right now."

"What?", Hook grabbed for it but his hand went just right through it."

"Come on. Emma would have been the only one to sneak in here and you've just made sure that she might not ever come back here again.", the boy explained: "You've got nothing to loose."

"What about Rumplestiltskin?"

"He is just reuniting with Belle. He's got no time to come here. And even if he did, I would know it right away and I would bring you back here. We only want to show you what your eyes can't see right now. We don't want to choose sides.", the boy held out his little hand to him.

Hook frowned unsure what to do and finally took it cursing this whole thing already.

Emma threw her things to the ground and walked over to the next window. She sat down in front of it and stared outside. She was angry. Somehow meeting Hook always had this effect on her. She sighed. First he had told her, that she was giving up everything just to help others and that she was loosing herself through that, than he had the impudence to tell her that she was trying to make out with a man she didn't love anymore and now he just told her that she was useless. He even made it sound like he was warning her! Who the hell did he think he was?

"Oh my god!", Mary Margret stood in the kitchen in staring at her pronouncing every single word: "What happened?"

Emma followed her gaze. Shit! She was still dressed in his clothes.

"Emma?", Mary Margret sounded like she didn't want to believe what she was thinking: "Please tell me this isn't true."

Emma sighed and stood up holding up her hands in the gesture of giving up a fight: "Calm down. It's not what you think."

"Than what else is it?"

Emma sighed: "I got wet and he gave me something to change. That's all."

"Why did you get wet?", Mary Margret was still staring at her like her worst nightmares had come true.

"He fell into the ocean and I saved him.", Emma said like it was nothing worth talking about and entered her room to get some of her own clothes. She met her reflection in the mirror. She was almost looking like a pirate. His shirt was too large but it was still keeping her warm and the trousers… she had bound them around her waist with her belt. She was looking like she was shrinking in her clothes. At least she wore her own boots.

Emma sighed and took off the belt before she opened the trousers.

"Are you alright, Emma?", Mary Margret asked from the door. She sounded worried a lot: "Everytime you have to deal with him you come back looking like something bad happened."

"I'm fine.", Emma said a little nerved: "Where is Neal?"

"He went to Granny's.", her mother didn't really seem relieved: "Shall I make you a hot tea?"

"Yes. Thank you.", Emma heared her walking back to the kitchen again so she shouted after her: "And where is Henry?"

"He is with Regina today.", her voice sounded from the distance: "It's her turn today."

Emma bit her bottom lip and left her room. She had thrown his clothes carelessly to the ground.

"I see.", she sighed sitting down on one of the bar chairs waiting for the tea to be ready to drink it: "And you? Not sleeping yet?"

"I was just thinking of tomorrow. It's christmas after all. I can't imagine to spend it with Regina."

"Do you only have bad memories of her?", Emma asked carefully: "What was back than before your father died?"

Snow sighed and sat down beside her holding her own cup between her hands: "No. But that was a long time ago. She had actually taught me riding." Not even a small grin appeared on her mother's lips. It definetely had to be a long time since that.

Emma took a sip off her tea and felt the warmth vanishing within her body.

"Why do you ask?", Mary Margret frowned.

"I was just wondering what might have made her the way she is now?", Emma looked down into her cup.

"What happened to you tonight?"

"It's not important."

"But it is. You seem out of balance.", Mary Margret was looking at her very worried: "The last time I saw you like this was, when we were locked in that cell after he told you that you were useless."

"Well, he's got his own charms in this kind of stuff.", she said sarcastically: "But I won't give up. Don't worry. I'll fight on!"

"Okay.", she sighed and drank from her tea again.

Somehow it was good to just sit there with her not needing to say anything. She was just enjoying her company and shared her own with her.

"Where is David?", Emma asked after a moment of silence just noticing that something was wrong: "Did you guys fight?"

Mary Margret sighed: "No. Not really. We just need to get used to each other again a bit. We have been seperated for twentyeight years after all. It's not as easy as it seems, you know? Something seems to be missing. Maybe the happy end?"

"I don't know.", Emma said sympathetic: "But I'm sure you will make it anyway. You even found each other whithout remembering anything. Don't worry."

A small smile appeared on her lips and she looked at her cup like she was deeply in love: "I know."

Emma drank another sip of her tea and stared at the boiler Mary Margret had used to cook the water for their teas. She wanted to take a look into Henry's fairytale book. If he didn't want to tell her anything than she would just find it out herself. She knew one thing for sure: This had to stop!


	17. Chapter 17

**Part seventeen, or how to try to be interested in the present**

Henry lead him through Storybrook's streets heading to the library he knew Belle was at the moment. Hook frowned not quiet understanding why he would show him something that would have to do with Belle and the crocodile.

They stopped at an opened window and took a look inside. Belle was there looking at his enemy like he was the most important thing in the world, before she walked over to him and hugged him. Rumplestiltskin seemed like his biggest fears had just vanished. He was relieved, and closed his eyes pressing her at his chest. He knew that he was the luckiest person in this city right now.

"Come on.", Henry said and pulled him through the wall inside the library: "Watch them carefully."

"Rumplestiltskin, what did you do to him?", Belle asked in a whisper not letting go of him: "Why does he want to hurt you so desperately?"

Rumplestiltskin's face went darker and he loosened his grip on her a bit.

"Why don't you want to tell me?", she finished the hug and tried to look into his eyes. He kept staring to the ground.

"There is something else you don't tell me, right? Something that's got nothing to do with your son, right?", Belle guessed: "Why won't you tell me?"

"Why are you so concerned about this? Did he say something?", he seemed cold now. There was almost nothing left of the man that had just be standing in front of her, hugging her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

"No.", she seemed disappointed: "No, he didn't. No one of you two seems to want to admit what happened between you. You are just as stubborn as him."

"Why are you so concerened about this?", he asked again. He stared at her in disbelieve. Maybe he was even angry with her for this comparission.

"Why? Back in our world he showed up in Regina's castle saying he wanted to save me. But when I couldn't tell him how to beat you, he just knocked me out and left me there. Now he showes up trying to harm me over and over again since what time? Months?", she got louder with ever single word and started to walk up and down in front of him waving her hands while talking: "And the last time you didn't want to tell me anything my father would have almost send me out of the town and you kept lying to me. You have been sending this thing after Regina so Emma and Snow white were sent to the enchanted forest for almost two weeks! Do you really ask why I was concerned about this?"

He sighed and leaned back at a shelve. He seemed like an old man captured in the body of the person who he actually was now: "I can't tell you. And I won't let this happen again."

Belle wasn't satisfied with this: "Why can't you just let the past rest? At least you should be able to do this. You could stand above this."

"And watch him hurt you?", he stared at her in disbelieve: "There is no way I would ever do that! I've got the power to do something against him after all."

"And here you go again talking of power. That's exactly the reason I can't be with you.", she stepped closer and put his hands into hers: "Rumplestiltskin, if noone of you finally stops this, it will never end. Everyone you guys love will be grudged through this. You will never be able to be happy and the ones beeing born after you will never know what happyness means. You guys are cursing everyone through this."

"Not if I win!"

"This is not about winning!", Belle stared at him: "You will only loose yourself again if you go on like this. And he won't gain anything through getting his revenge revenge on you either. You guys are destroying your whole lifes through this."

"No. I'll be fine. Don't worry.", he said stubbornly.

"Do I mean nothing to you?", she sounded really hurt.

Rumplestiltskin met her eyes in surprise: "But you do! You are everything to me!"

"Than stop this.", she whispered in a plea: "'Cause you just might loose me as well."

Hook stared at the ground to his feet. She was almost sounding like Emma.

Henry watched him carefully: "I guess we should go on." He pulled him back through the wall and took him to Granny's where Smee was searching for answers. Emma's father was sitting at the bar, drinking.

He didn't seem so happy.

"He had a fight with Snow white.", Henry explained: "He wanted to get you out of town because he believes that you are a thread to Emma. But she stopped him. She is afraid that if they were interfering in Emma's business they could loose her again."

"Why does she think she would loose her if they would get rid of me?", Hook asked confused and stared at the man sitting at the bar looking too deep into his glass.

"Because she wants to handle everything herself.", Henry said: "But you will see."

Hook frowned: "Why did you take me here anyway?"

Henry pointed with his finger at Smee who was just talking to Granny and Red Riding Hood: "Because of him."

They walked over to them and listened carefully.

"So you know nothing about a son?", Smee asked not hiding his disappointment.

"No.", Ruby said like the question was rediculous: "How could he possibly have a kid?" She left them to take care of David who was looking awfull.

"And you?", Smee tried it again with the old lady in front of him.

She frowned: "Of what use could this information possibly be for Captain Hook?"

Smee sighed: "I don't know it either." He seemed just as lost as David at the other end of the bar, when he sat on one of the bar chairs: "I don't know. He seems somehow lost. When I first met him, he was so different. He was like a free bird. You can watch it but you would never try to lock it up. And even if you did, you would never catch it, because it is too smart for you. But right now it's like he had a chain on his legs. He can't leave anymore. He is bound to the ground."

Granny pat his arm and gave Ruby a gaze. The woman got a drink for him and placed it in front of him.

"I don't know anything about a kid.", the old woman said: "But maybe the blue fairy does. She seems to know almost everything. Drink it. It's on the house." She left him alone again and went back to the kitchen.

Ruby came closer again: "Emma had been looking for him a while ago. Gold had asked her to do it. But I don't know what she what found out about him."

Smee drank the drink in one shot and stood up again: "Thank you."

"Why do you stay with him if it's that hard for you?", she frowned.

"He's my Captain!", Smee said proudly: "And he needs my help. I can't just leave him behind. He is kind of lost."

"Lost.", David chuckled from the other end of the bar: "He is an idiot!"

"What?", Smee said facing him in anger.

"You're Captain is a fool.", David said really drunk. Ruby went over to him and whispered something in his ear. But it didn't help.

"No! I won't stop saying what everyone is thinking!", he couldn't say the words properly anymore: "You're Captain is a fool and he will loose everything that's important to him through that."

"I guess, you better go now.", Ruby said an apologizing expression in her gaze.

"Why? Are you afraid we start fighting?", David said laughing: "Don't worry. I had enough fights today."

"Yeah. And enough alcohol as well.", Ruby said angrily and took his glass away: "That's the end for today. Go home! Snow might be already waiting for you."

"No.", he looked down on his hands deply disappointed: "No, she isn't."

"You had a fight not a break up.", Ruby hissed again, while Smee left the café: "So get up and go home!"

The door opened again. Neal came in and stopped beside David: "Hey. Come on. I'll take you home."

"You?", David hissed and glanced at him: "Fine."

"Don't fight!", Ruby said noticing the look in her friend's eyes.

David sighed and stood up. He leaned on Neal who brought him outside: "You don't deserve her, you know?"

"I guess you are right.", Neal said looking at the ground while balancing the man hanging on his left shoulder: "But she wants to try it again."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes.", Neal said openly: "But I'm not so sure that she still does."

"Well, than you are not the only one.", David said waving his left arm around and risking their balance again: "Why did you leave her back than?"

"Because of all this.", Neal answered: "August told me how important she was for you guys. She had to save you. Her family."

"But that didn't mean, that you had to leave her behind.", David said angrily: "If you really love someone you never let go unless it definetely is nessecarry!"

"But it was.", Neal said frowning and helped him to sit in front of the door of his home: "I had no other chance!"

"You could have come with her.", David said still angry: "Instead of letting her just fall."

Someone opened the door he was leaning at and he fell on his back. It was Emma carrying Hook's clothes in her arms: "What's going on here that late?"

"Where are these clothes from?"

"Emma."

She looked down on her father: "Are you drunk?"

"Yes."

She looked down on him for a moment before she turned around to shout for her mother. Than she finally walked outside to the trashcan: "Neal, could you open that up for a moment, please?"

Neal walked over to her and helped her: "Where are those coming from?"

She gave him a short look: "Hook."

"What?", David shouted from the door still lying on his back but trying to sit up again. Just behind him Mary Margret appeared and ran up to him. She seemed worried.

"Long story.", Emma said and turned around to leave Neal at the trashcan behind.

"She saved him of drowning.", Mary Margret explained: "And he lent her those clothes."

"Okay. Maybe it is not so long.", Emma sighed and walked back into the house. She grabbed her jacket, put it on and came outside again.

"Where are you going?", Neal asked still confused.

"Neal. I don't need to tell you everything.", she said annoyed: "Cool down, okay?"

"You come home in the clothes of another man-"

"Jackass!", interupted him David from behind.

"And you expect me to just stay calm?", he said unbelievingly.

Emma turned to face him again: "I'm not a little kid anymore! I don't need to tell you everything and I don't need to explain every little action of mine to you! So calm down!"

She left him there while her father's laughter was following her.

"Wow.", Hook said while rising his eyebrows: "That was strange."

Henry sighed: "She doesn't love him anymore, you know?"

Hook stared down on him: "What?"

"She is just running away again.", the boy seemed really sad: "Or she just wants to do me a favour. But it's not a favour for me if she isn't happy."

"Where is she going now?", Hook patted his back without looking at him.

"Regina."

"Why that?", Hook frowned and finally met the boy's gaze: "Why do I need to see all of that?"

"You need to understand how all this seeking for revenge and fighting Rumplestiltskin is affecting the world around you."

"But your family fighting has got nothing to do with me and my revenge."

"Yes it has.", Henry explained: "They were fighting because of you in the end. Everyone of them."

Hook frowned while he was following Emma and her son. She seemed somehow exhausted. She didn't turn around to look back at Neal or her parents but only looked forward. It seemed like she didn't want to have to deal with them at all right now.


	18. Chapter 18

**Part eighteen – or how to deal with a truth you don't want to have to deal with**

Emma waited in front of the door. She needed this fairytale book. Maybe it was useless but maybe it could help her to understand what was acutally going on between Hook and Rumblestiltskin. It wasn't just the fact that they were involving every one in this town but her beeing curious about it. What made Hook doing everything possible to get his revenge? Why had it gotten so precious to him?

She ringed the door bell again and waited for another moment. It wasn't that late yet. She checked her watch. It was just ten o'clock. She sighed impatient. What did that witch take so long?

Suddenly the door opened in front of her. Regina put her head through the door checking the street and Emma: "How had Henry found you before you had even ever heared of Storybrook?"

Emma stared at her in disblieve: "He had stolen Mary Margret's creditcard and used the internet to find me."

Regina opened the door and let her hin before she slammed it shut.

"So miss Swan, what are you doing here? This is my afternoon with Henry as you might remember!", she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared her down.

Emma sighed: "I'm not here because of Henry. I just need his fairytale book. That's all. I'll be gone as soon as I have it."

"Why would you need that?", Regina reached the stairs still acting like she expected Emma to be spying on her behavior.

"I've got some trouble to deal with and it might help me.", Emma said leaning back at the wall behind her, her hands burried deep inside of her pockets: "Can you just get me the book? I'll stay here and wait silently. I promise."

Regina hurried into Henry's bedroom, got his fairytale book and came back down again.

Emma took it thankfully and tried to have a conversation with the witch: "Well. Anything from Cora?"

"Not lately. But I don't want to keep waiting for her to show up. That's why I asked you this thing at the front door."

"Those hearts you were keeping on the grave yard…. Was it really you who had collected them?", Emma frowned watching her every movement.

Regina looked guilty: "No. I stole them from my mother. She had collected the most of them. I had just increased their number after she had gotten back to me. I thought she was dead back than."

"And Henry?"

"She hasn't made a move on him yet. But I can promise you, if she does I'll do everything to protect him."

"I know.", Emma smiled: "That's why I want you two to stay in contact. Besides Henry likes you."

"It was a great advice to give those hearts back to the people in this town.", Regina said without looking at her before she suddenly became the old Regina again: "Well, you've got what you wanted. If you'd leave us alone again now, Miss Swan?"

"Thanks.", Emma said and walked back to the door. She turned to face Regina for the last time this evening, smiled at her and left.

She pressed the book at herself not willing to give it to anyone who might want to have it. She needed this information! There was no way she would this opportunity let pass without using it.

Something behind her caught her attention. Someone was following her. She acted like she hadn't noticed anything and stayed close to the streetlamps. She wanted to use their light to get shadows she could be watching on the ground in front of her, if her pursuer would come too close to her. But he didn't. He just kept watching her until she was at her home again. She stopped in front of the main door and turned around a little annoyed. There was someone hiding in the shadows.

"Okay, come out. I've already noticed you. What do you want from me?", she leaned back at the door behind her waiting for a reaction.

A man with a red had suddenly showed up. Wasn't that these Smee?

"What do you want from me?", she asked frowning.

"I'd have a little question about Bae.", Smee asked unsure if he was doing the right thing. His eyes noticed something at the dustbin and he stepped closer to check it. He frowned noticing Hook's pants hanging out of it.

Emma sighed acting like she hadn't noticed his interest: "What do you want to know? And why?"

Smee turned his gaze back at her: "Well, where is he?"

"I don't know.", Emma said honestly. She had an idea about this but she had nothing to proove it: "Was that all?"

"May I take those clothes along with me?", he asked carefully.

"No!", Emma said angryly: "I might still need them." To burn them or something like that if she wouldn't like what she would find out about Hook and his revenge soon.

She came back and got the clothes out again before she went back inside leaving a completely puzzeled Smee behind.

She went to her bedroom, changed into something more comforting, sat down on her bed leaning back into her pillows and started to read the book that was leaning at her legs.

A knock on the door finally caught her attention and made her look up again. It was Neal standing in her door watching her before his look fell on Hook's clothes she had brought back inside again and that was lying on the ground again now.

He frowned: "What are those doing here again?"

"Nothing.", she said looking back at her book: "Was that all?"

"I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?", Emma met his eyes and felt couldn't help but to feel sorry for him somehow. She was almost sure now that there was no way back for them. She just hadn't told him yet.

"Do you love him?", he seemed nervous standing there in her door watching her every move.

Emma frowned and gave this a thought: "No."

Neal seemed relieved somehow. So he hadn't noticed that she had been lying to him. The truth was that she didn't even want to think about that and through this she hadn't even ever given this a thought before.

"What is that?", he asked stepping closer and pointing on the book.

"It's a fairytale book. I hoped to find something in here but it isn't there.", Emma sighed and threw it on her beding a little disappointed: "Seems like the writer didn't think it would be important."

"So what now?", Neal asked: "Will you just give up?"

"No.", Emma bit her bottom lip: "I don't have the time to give up on it."

"Well…do you want to tell me what it is about?"

"Sorry.", Emma said without really meaning it: "But no."

"Fine than…Good night.", he left her alone again after a moment of waiting for her to say something like: "Why don't you stay?" But she wouldn't ask that. It was of no use. She knew this period of time was gone. It had left the day she had been imprisoned because of him. She was only trying to find a way back to a friendship she wouldn't be feeling guilty for not wanting to live on where they had left off for Henry.

Yeah, he had been right and that was tasting really bitter. But there was no way she would ever tell Hook about it!

When he had left again, she closed the door and started to read again. Maybe August had thought it to be an important story and had included it. Or maybe she was just hoping for nothing.

Emma sighed again. That was almost rediculous.

"Why is this book so important?", Hook stared at it in confusion and maybe even a little fear. He didn't want her to know the whole story. He couldn't exactly say why right now.

"It's a fairytale book.", Henry said like it was obvious: "It tells fairytales. Fairytales like the story of Rumplestiltskin."

"So my story isn't in it?"

"No.", Henry seemed a little disappointed: "But she will get to know who Milah was and so she will jump to conclusions."

"How much is written there about Rumplestiltskin?", Hook frowned. Maybe it could be usefull for him.

"It's only the story of him becoming who he is now and his story with Belle. Between that there is nothing written. You can't find anything in it that could help you to get your revenge I'm afraid.", Henry smiled at him like he knew his thoughts.

He sighed again and watched Emma. He lost himself in memories of their little adventure to the giant. They had had a connection somehow. He still couldn't lay a finger on it, but there was something bigger that they had incommen. Just what was it about?

They were both able to play their cards very good. But there was something she hadn't revealed to him yet. It was annoying. Almost everytime he met her he had been wondering what it was.

"Look. She is done.", Henry said almost excited. The boy hadn't noticed anything of his thoughts. Maybe it was better like this. The kid had the bad habit to notice quiet a lot and always in the wrong moments. And if he did he was always talking about it.

"Well, but the book isn't the important thing here.", Henry said: "Didn't you notice something in her behaviour towards Neal?"

"What? She was acting like always."

"That's not true."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"The last time she was talking with you, she was more open, wasn't she?", Henry grinned and tried to hide it through turning to face Emma again.

Hook frowned.

Emma threw the book on her bad. She was a little frustrated. She knew that Milah had been Gold's wife and that she had been supposed to be dead. But how did she end up with Hook and how did Gold kill her? Had he been human when he had done it or had he already been Rumplestiltskin? A magician who had made this huge plan to get into this world without magic, making her to be the only person who would be able to break the curse, even regarding the posibility of her coming back to the enchanted forest and beeing trapped in his own cell?

She pushed herself off her bed and went to the kitchen. She cooked water and waited.

This was insane! Why was she even that mesmerized by this? It had actually nothing to do with her. All she had to do was to stop them from killing each other.

She drank a bit of her tea. She didn't need to know what was hunting them to do what they were doing. All she had to take care of was to make sure that the people living in this town would be safe.

"What's troubling you so much?"

Emma winced and turned around. David. He seemed a lot better than before. At least he wasn't drunk anymore.

"What about you? I can't remember you to be a person who drowns his worries in alcohol."

He smiled bitter: "I just wanted to bath them."

"Didn't seem like that.", she watched him carefully: "Do you have a headache already?"

"Not yet. Right now it feels more like I wasn't completely done with beeing drunk already.", he came closer and pointed on her cup: "Is that tea? May I have one either?"

She smiled and got another cup to make him one as well: "What was this drinking even about?"

He sighed like he was carrying the burden of the whole world on his shoulders: "You won't like to hear that."

"What can be so awful?"

"You will hate me after this and the whole getting to know each other and getting to used to each other will be lost for ever."

She gave him a little smile almost unable to hide her laughter: "Try me." God, he could be cute.

David didn't seem so sure about this when he sighed again, took his tea and sat down: "I had an argument with your mother."

"I know. She said it had something to do with Hook. You wanted to get rid of him."

He sighed again: "Not only."

"I'm listening.", she smiled and sat down as well.

"It's not only Hook I'd like to get rid of right now.", he said talking very fast like he had understood that it would be pointless to increase this: "To be honest. It's Neal as well."

She stared at him. The smile was gone. It was like she wasn't able to understand what he meant. If he was thinking about this, he hadn't even explained anything.

"Look.", he started again: "It's like this: I watch you dealing with Neal and Henry trying to be a real family again and on the other hand trying to stop Hook and Gold from killing each other as well. I just think you are not happy, Emma. And that is almost driving me nuts!"

"You think I'm not happy with Neal?", she frowned and seemed confused a lot but she wasn't angry.

"No, Emma. I don't think you are.", he looked at her like he was feeling sorry for her: "You're trying hard, but you don't love him anymore, do you?"

Emma looked down into her cup: "I don't really know. It's difficult to think of such things right now. I'm not so sure what I want."

"Do you want to be together with Neal because of the both of you or because of Henry?"

She stared at him without saying something for a long moment: "That's weird. I've somehow the feeling that I've heared that before." She needed a moment to breathe: "Doesn't Henry deserve to have a real family?"

"Sure he does. But in this world a real family isn't defined in that way anymore. Believe me, he would be a lot more happy if you would be happy as well. By the way this family will never be a normal family. There is the fact that you're the same age as your parents through this curse and than there is Regina as his second mother. Not to mention Cora.", he pat her hand softly: "He will be alright. Just because you two can't follow on your past together doesn't mean that Henry can't stay in contact with him. If they really like each other Henry will want to stay in contact with him and if Neal isn't the idiot I believe he is, than he will want to do that as well."

Emma smiled relieved: "And what about Hook?"

David's face darkened and he took his hand back while staring at the desk: "I don't like the connection you two seem to have."

Emma almost laughed: "What connection?"

"You have a lot in common and somehow you are reacting to each other.", he sighed like the world was about to end: "It reminds me of Snow and me."

Emma, who just sipped her tea, swallowed badly and stared at him in disbelieve. She caughed for a moment: "What? There is nothing! I'm just trying to stop him from hurting someone."

"Maybe the only way to stop him to do that is to lock him away?", David said slowly: "Wasn't that what you have been thinking about when I came in here?"

Emma frowned and gave this a thought. She stared at the desk.

"Well, thanks for the tea.", David said gently laying a hand on his back while standing up and giving her a little kiss on the back of her head: "Think about it. Goodnight love."


	19. Chapter 19

**Part nineteen – or how to survive with a truth you don't want to hear**

"What was that?", Hook frowned and looked down on the kid beside him: "Is that really happening or did you just make it up?"

"No, it really is true.", Henry said following his mother back into her room, where she got Hook's trousers from the floor again to check the pockets.

She found what she had been looking for, left the pants on the floor again and went over to the little desk beside her bed. She held out her right hand and checked something under the light of the little lamp that was placed on top of the desk. It was the only light in the room.

She sighed relieved, closed her hand to a fist again and put whatever it was she had found into a drawer of the desk, before she leaned back in her pillows. She layed on her left side and turned the light off.

"May we take a look on what she's just got out of my trousers?", Hook asked concerned and a little puzzled.

But his hopes were distroyed: "No! When we left your ship I told you that this wasn't about picking sides in your trouble with just everyone!"

"Oh come on, that wouldn't be picking sides."

"Come on.", Henry said winking him: "I'll bring you back now."

"Already?", the pirate seemed a little disappointed while he looked back at Emma who was slowly sleeping in.

"Yes. It's already late and even if I'm a ghost right now I still shouldn't be out anymore now.", the boy said leading the way through the living quarter.

Voices were reaching their eares from above. The kid stopped and looked up the stairs where his grandparents were chatting in bed.

"What did she say about Neal?", reached them Mary Margret's voice: "Was she angry?"

"No. I've got the feeling that she already had been wondering about it.", David seemed a little confused: "She said something about someone else having already mentioned something like my point of few about it before."

"She seemed uneased when she came back in Hook's clothes.", Snow said: "You've no idea what it's been like to see her like this."

"I guess, I can imagine it.", he said bitter: "Snow, I'm afraid we have to be ready to face the worst."

"Really?", she seemed worried: "Maybe we are interpreting to much in it. Did she say anything about it?"

"She was acting like she hadn't even thought of it or like she wouldn't believe it even a bit. I actually had the impression that I was going insane or at least that she thought I was."

"She did the same with Graham back than.", Mary Margret said sadly: "Somehow she always seems to be the last one noticing it."

Silence.

"David?"

"Now I really am worried!"

"But maybe he will not be here that long anymore. After all he is up against Rumplestiltskin.", she didn't sound like she believed it herself.

"That won't be a solution, Snow. If that happens she might never open up to anyone again in the future. We could even losse her."

"But he is a pirate!", Mary Margret almost pleaed: "He can't be good for her. All he thinks about is getting his revenge and he would definetely do anything to achieve it."

"I don't know but I've got the feeling that they have something incommon that she doesn't really want to share with us. It's bounding them somehow. Maybe she could change him?", he didn't sound hopeful or like he would wanted that to happen.

"Somehow she's still hiding a lot of us.", Mary Margret said: "I'd like to know what it is."

"Maybe we are worrying just too much."

"Definetely not!", she said excited: "Have you forgotten what happened since he came here with Cora? With Cora of all people he could have come with?

They were locked up together in one of Gold's cells and they have been burried in a cave by Cora, what took the dwarfs almost a week to get them free again. And I don't even want to think about all the times Emma had to make him free Belly or anybody he had been holding captive. Not to mention all the times she had to lock him up for robbery or stuff like that."

"I know.", David sighed: "And than there is this time he wanted to get revenge on her for knocking him out in the enchanted forest. I can't even remember when that stopped. It was like they were playing a game of who can beat the other more often."

"It stopped when they suddenly started to avoid each other even on the street.", Mary Margret said: "Charming, can't we do something? I really am worried."

"Wasn't it you who told me to do nothing earlier this evening?", he sounded playfully before he got serious again: "

You know, you had a point there. We might loose her if we do something."

Mary Margret sighed: "But we can't let this go on! He wants to kill someone because he lost his hand through him. I can undertand that he wants revenge for that, but to kill someone for that is so hard and maybe he had done something worse to Rumplestiltskin in the first place?"

"To be honest, Snow. I don't think it's just about his hand."

"What else could it be?"

"I have no idea. But I'm sure Emma knows it."

"That doesn't make it better you know?"

Henry took his arm and lead him through the door. They walked down the street together without saying a single word. The only sign of life in the town was coming from a bar.

"What do you think?"

Hook sighed: "Actually I'm a bit surprised."

"About what?", the boy asked innocently while they were getting closer to the bar. The noise already reached their ears.

"That they think…I mean…There is nothing."

"Where?", Henry asked watching him with big eyes.

"Well, between your mother and me."

"I guess she would say the same.", Henry sighed: "But you guys have a problem, you know? You never want to see what you don't like about yourselfs."

"That's rediculous."

"But it's true.", Henry said honestly: "Look. This whole thing tonight is just about showing you what you don't want to admit. You don't want to see it, that's all."

"I shouldn't even listen to you.", Hook rolled his eyes after a moment of staring at him: "You are just a kid after all. You don't know anything about this stuff."

"Don't underestimate me!", the boy said warningly: "I'm Emma's son after all! Don't think I hadn't noticed the looks you have spent on her since you arrived here! When you had finally given up hiding yourself, you have been standing on top of the library pretending to watch Gold and Belle. But I know it better!

You have even been up there, when no one of them had been near! You have sneaked into the office every now and than to take a look around and when Emma came to the diner you were hiding in a corner and watched her. I've seen you! You watched her ordering an espresso before leaving again."

"That's nonsense!", Hook said without even thinking about it first: "And your mother drinks black coffee."

Henry smiled evely: "You see?"

The pirate froze and stared at him. That was impossible! There was nothing! He only cared for Milah and his revenge on Rumplestiltskin. There was nothing else that maddered!

But why did he know what Emma prefered at Granny's? Hook shook his head. That was meaningless!

Suddenly someone fell out of the bar in front of them. He stood up again and stumbled down the street in their direction. It was Neal. He was a little drunk and seemed to go to the inn Ruby's Grandmother was having.

He was talking to himself.

Hook looked down on the kid beside him. He was staring at his father for a moment before his eyes narrowed and his face got a sad expression.

"Come on, kid.", Hook layed his hand on his shoulder: "It's nothing wrong with getting a little drunk once in a while."

Henry looked up to him: "But he is sad. Don't you hear what he is saying?"

Hook sighed and looked at the man who was getting nearer. Even if he was sad, there was nothing to worry about it.

"I just did, what August had told me to do!", Neal was mumbeling: "Nothing else. And it isn't like I hadn't had a good reason for it. But she is still blocking me! Just what shall I do about it?"

Hook frowned staring at the man in front of him.

"Well, somehow she is blockating everyone.", he came closer: "Can't trust anyone. If I would have known that earlier I wouldn't have done it."

"I don't think you should hear that, kid.", Hook said expecting the story of him and Emma to be revealed now. Something he didn't want to dismiss on any cost.

"And you shouldn't either."

He looked down on the boy beside him in confusion, but the kid was gone. He swung around and was face to face with Milah all of a sudden.

"Believe me, you definetely shouldn't hear that.", she said with a serious expression.

"Why not?", Hook asked: "Love, of all the things you guys showed me tonight this is the only thing that really interests me."

Milah smiled at him like she would have done with a kid who just had told her to become the king of the ocean: "That is not true. I know when you are lying to me, Killian. We've been on our journeys long enough for me to know you that well. And on top of that I'm a ghost now. You can't lie to me."

Hook sighed playing to be depressed: "How does it come that all of the women suddenly just look through me?"

"Killian.", Milah sighed not giving in to his charm: "Henry told you earlier that we weren't picking sides, didn't he?"

"Yes.", he said slowly.

"Well, in that case you know that you can't hear that.", she put an arm through one of his and started to pull him for a walk: "So come on, honey."

He didn't really want to: "Oh come on. I don't get anything through hearing the story."

"But you do!", she smiled happily.

Hook seemed disappointed: "Why are you even that happy now?"

They reached the sea within an eyeblink: "Because instead of leaving this just behind you and trying to spent time with me, you prefer to understand Emma.". Her eyes started to shine: "That means there is still hope for you."

They stopped in the middle of the road and looked eacht other deep in the eyes.

"That's not true!", Hook said seriously: "There is nothing in this world that will ever be more important to me than you. You are my true love after all, if something like this does exist."

"No, Killian.", Milah sighed and placed her hands on his chest where his heart was beating: "I had to die before the happy ending disappeared. We never shared the true love. Yes, we loved each other, but it was never supposed to end in a good way."

"How can love end in a good way?", Hook joked, but his eyes stayed sad until he got serious again: "Our love would have lasted for ever if Rumplestiltskin wouldn't have killed you! You know that!"

Milah sighed and stepped back while she softly freed her hands out of his: "No. I know it better. Maybe I'll show it to you one day."

Before he could do or say anything, she turned into a big bright light and was gone.

Killian kept staring in the light that was blinding him so much that his eyes were almost about to weep. Why had she said that? Was it because of her weird idea of coupeling him with the Swan girl? What did she want to show him one day? That was simply insane! Hook sighed and suddenly noticed, that the light in front of him was getting nearer.

He frowned. It was a car. He sighed and rolled his eyes. At least he had nothing to fear of it since he was still in this form. He closed his eyes out of a reflex when the car hid him. No, it didn't drive right through him, but it hid him and send him flying back.


	20. Chapter 20

**Part twenty, or how to survive a fight you don't want to loose**

His whole body was aching and he was breathing hard, looking around in a fright. He was lying on his back his legs hanging in front of him.

He needed a moment to understand this. He was still sitting on his chair in his cabin. But the chair had fallen on its back, what was explaining why he was actually lying on his back on the floor. His cards were flying around the room and one of his feet was lying on the top of his desk.

He stared at the ceilling when one of his cards suddenly landed on his face. He grabbed it a little annoyed and sighed. It was the card of Storybrook's tunnelsystem.

Maybe it would be better to focus on his goal again. He had spend the past weeks to explore the tunnels. It had appeared that Gold had locked the entrance to his house through those. Hook stood up and put the card back on the desk. There would be no use in using the entrance to the library anymore now, since Belle was back. His plan had failed through these weird journeys with the ghosts and Emma.

Hook sighed again while searching his pockets for something he had stolen this morning. He frowned. It was gone!

He fell to his knees and threw the rest of his cards around in a hurry looking for it everywhere. Nothing!

He jumped up again trying to remember what he had done today. It was hard to remember since his mind felt like he had spent weeks since stealing it.

The ocean! He had fallen into the ocean. He ran his hand through his face. If he had lost it there it would definetely be gone! He sighed and put his hand back into his pocket.

He had changed his clothes after that!

Hook hurried to the wet jacket he had thrown to the floor before and checked the pockets. It wasn't there. But the ring he had stolen from Regina along with the bunch of keys was still there.

He sighed a picture of Emma checking something in front of the light of the lamp at her bedside suddenly appearing in his mind.

Was it possible? But the thing she had been holding in her hand than was so small. It was impossible that it was a whole ring of keys.

He sighed again and let himself fall back into his chair.

Maybe she had gotten the keys out of his clothes he had lend her when he had been at the diner with Henry. What had she been doing when they had followed Neal and David back to their flat? She had been throwing his clothes away. And didn't she get them out of the dustbin again later on? But why? Maybe because she had lost one of the keys in it? But how could she have noticed that? Or had she just been afraid of beeing caught by Smee?

Hook almost laughed.

He had been right. She was a hell of a woman!

But how? Wait… That was impossible! If he was thinking closely about it, he still had had the keys when he had left her alone on his ship to free Belle again. So the only opportunity for her to take them had been when he had come back from that. Had she really taken it while their little argument here? But why hadn't he noticed? As long as he could remember there had been no one who had ever been able to rob him!

He felt like beeing bested by her again. That was annoying! He was hurt in his pride!

But the most important thing now was to get them back! Maybe he could somehow manage that without having to admit his loss?

He sighed. No, it wasn't possible since it was Emma he had to deal with.

His gaze drifted to the picture of Milah. Somehow if was her fault, too.

Women!

Emma opened his eyes. She had slept as good as she maybe hadn't for the past weeks!

"Morning."

She sat up slowly a smile on her lips: "Morning kid."

The boy was sitting at her feet a huge smile in his face. How could someone possibly ever be angry with him, if he was able to be so cute?

"You seem relaxed."

"Yes.", Emma finally stood up: "I am."

His eyes fell on the book she had gotten from Regina the night before and he hissed his eyebrows in surprise.

"Sorry.", Emma said giving it back to him: "I just wanted to check something."

"Did you find what you've been looking for?", he asked a little curious.

"Not at all.", she sighed: "How about a hot cacao and a donat at the diner?"

"Okay.", Henry jumped off her bed: "I'll go and tell Mary Margret while you get ready."

Emma smiled, while watching him leaving the room and closing the door behind him, before she got her clothes, dressed up, went to the cupboard that was placed beside her bed and got the keys out of it. She put them into her bag, thought about it for a moment and put them into a pocket of her jacket that she was wearing. She sighed.

If he had noticed it by now, she was pretty sure that he would show up here to search for the keys. If he wouldn't find it here he would face her to steal it back for sure. But she had no interest in needing to be careful if he would show up all of a sudden or even in him getting it back. But there was no time to hide it at her office either since she was sure that he was already watching her.

Maybe it would work? She left the room and met Henry right in front of the door.

"Are you ready?"

"I only need a little stop in the bathroom. Henry, could you do me a favour?"

The boy's eyes went big.

Emma's cellphone started to ring and when she noticed Mary Margret's number she already had an idea of what was coming.

"What's up?"

"Emma…", she started excited and nervous at the same time: "I don't even know where to start…"

"How about with the beginning?", Emma asked playfully hoping it would distract her a bit.

"Well…", Mary Margret started again without even noticing her joke: "I went out to get some milk from the shop and…I promise I wasn't longer away than maybe half an hour…I don't understand how this did happen…"

"What happened?", Emma tried to bring her back to the point.

"Emma, the whole flat is a mess!", she finally said: "Someone has to have broken in. I don't know if something is missing yet, but I can't even make one step through the door without stepping on something. Even my underwear is lying around!"

"Okay…", Emma said slowly: "Can you see anything at the frontdoor? Is it damaged or broken or does it look like always?"

"Wait.", Mary Margret went silent for a moment, while Emma left the diner, she had been sitting alone since Henry had went to Jefferson to play with his daughter.

"I don't know.", Snow said a little confused: "I guess the lock is a little scrabbed."

"Okay.", Emma said in a calming voice: "I'll be right there. Can you call David?"

"Yes."

"Good. Than do that please. And stay steady. There is nothing you need to be worried about. I'll be right there.", she closed her cellphone and started the car.

So she had been right. He had found out and he had tried to steal the keys back from her. She was pretty sure that the marks Mary Margret had mentioned before were of his hook he had used to open the door. But to have a proof for this she needed to see those scratches herself.

If it really had been Hook the possibility of him showing up near her was pretty high. She needed to be ready for it. She would need to play dumb.

Emma parked her car in front of the house and walked inside.

This was almost amazing!

Their clothes were lying around everywhere along with letters, notes, books and newspapers and magazines. One of her shoes was even hanging from the lamp above the desk they usually were having breakfast at.

Mary Margret and David were standing in the kitchen picking up pans and broken cups and glasses. They hadn't noticed her yet.

Emma stepped inside and spottet a picture of Henry, Neal and her beside her right boot.

"Wow.", she said looking around a second time before she picked up the picture and faced the sad faces of her parents: "Is anything broken?"

"Cups, glasses and plates.", David said: "Maybe a few frames. But the most of the furniture is still intact."

"That's good.", she met Mary Margret's gaze: "Isn't it?"

"Emma…", she started carefully: "Your room…Well,…It is…"

Emma didn't wait for her to finally finish her sentence and went to check it herself. Hook had surpassed himself.

Her things were lying around like in the rest of the flat but here it was burried under her cupboards. He had crashed them on the floor and he had broken its backs. Her bed was lying on one side. The matress was lying beside it surrounded by her pillow's and her blanket's feathers. Some of them were still flying around. Everything was cut open and in the middle of all this her lamp was lying on the floor, its glass broken.

"I guess you don't know if something is missing yet?", David asked softly putting an arm around her shoulders to support her: "Are you alright?"

"Actually I do know at least one thing that definetely is missing.", she said staring at the mess in front of her.

He was frustrated. He hadn't found anything. Not even a single key had been hidden in the whole flat. At first he had tried to hide his presence but when he hadn't found something he had given up to his rage and just destroyed everything in her room. It had clmed him a bit but it had taken too much time as well. So he had had to rush through the rest of the flat. At least he hadn't broken anything anymore excapt the cups, glasses and plates and maybe a few frames.

He sighed. It even was like she had been waiting for him to break into her flat. He kept wandering around in his cabin unable to relax again. He needed those keys!

It was possible that one of them would be usefull for sneaking into Rumplestiltskin's rooms through the tunnels. That bastard had locked the entrances. At least he didn't need to worry for magical wards since Rumplestiltskin wasn't able to use magic freely in this world.

Someone knocked at the door and waited. Emma?

"Yes."

Smee stormed inside staring at him: "Someone broke into the flat of the Charmings."

Hook sighed: "So?"

"They don't want to chase for the culprit.", Smee seemed confused: "Isn't that strange? You said I should tell you if something strange happens."

They didn't want to search for him after what he had done to their flat? He felt like beeing slapped: "So what?"

"Well, I thought you wanted to know…", Smee said lame.

Hook sat back in his chair pushing his clothes he had taken back from Emma secretly under his desk. Smee didn't need to know everything: "It's okay."

They kept sighlent for a moment.

"And what now?"

Hook frowned staring at the card in front of him: "Keep watching Belle and Rumplestiltskin. But be carefull. After last night they might be expecting something."

"Aye!"

Hook stopped looking at the card of the tunnel system, sighed, stood up again and looked out of the large window instead while Smee left again.

Where else could the keys be hidden? The only possible places he could imagine were her bag, her car and her jacket since she hadn't been in her office today. He knew that. He had been watching her and when he went to search in her flat Smee had done it for him.

Something was moving behind him: "What's wrong, Smee? Have you forgotten something?"

"Oh, I just wanted to ask you why you destroyed my flat myself."

He froze for a second. She was angry. He couldn't help but smile.

"Your flat is damaged?"

Emma glared at him: "Don't you dare to act dumb now! I know when you're lying, have you forgotten that?"

He surrounded his desk in order to hide the card behind his back: "Do you?"

She sighed angryly ignoring that: "Why did you do that?"

"I think you know that pretty well.", he said keeping her gaze: "I don't like to be fooled, Emma. But I guess I need to warn you since you seem to haven't noticed it yet."

She frowned: "What are you even talking about?"

He stepped closer: "You stole from me."

"What?", she asked obviously confused: "No!"

"Of course you did!", he raised his voice getting even angrier now.

She sighed: "And what do you think I had stolen from you?"

"You know it.", he growled.

"Obviously not.", she said just as angry as him: "Why don't you enlighten me?"

"You stole a bunch of keys I had in my jacket yesterday."

"Hook, you fell into the ocean yesterday.", she treaded him like a fool: "Maybe you have just lost it them there."

"No.", he stared angrily down into her eyes: "I'd put them into the jacket I was wearing when you left yesterday."

"And what were those keys for?"

"Why do you ask?", he frowned.

Emma stepped even closer without breaking their eyecontact. He could feel her breath on his skin now: "It might give me a clue on why you destroyed my flat instead of just asking me! And I would know what you even need them for."

"Don't act dumb. You already know that or you wouldn't have stolen them."

"I just told you, I didn't!", she insisted: "What makes you even so sure that I did?"

"Maybe the fact that you show up here accusing me to have destroyed your flat."

"Have you?"

"Maybe. Where are my keys?"

"I don't know.", she repeated: "And I came here because the only thing missing are the clothes you lent me just yesterday!"

Hook tried to stare her down but it didn't work. She held his glare.

"Proofe it."

"And how?"

"There are only three places I can imagine you to have put them beside your flat. Your jacket, your car and your bag."

Emma hissed an eyebrow: "So I can expect you to have broken into the office as well?"

"No. I haven't been there yet."

She kept staring up to him for a moment longer: "Fine!" She stepped back rounded him and placed her bag on his desk, before she removed her jacket and threw it at him: "Here you go." It hit him in his face.

While he was checking it, she emptied her bag on the desk, before she stepped back to make sure he couldn't accuse her to have taken it.

There was nothing.

She glared at him before she refilled her bag and put on her jacket again.

Hook sighed and focused on her car keys: "And what about your car?"

She closed her bag focusing it for a moment, before she noticed the clothes he had taken back this morning. She shot him a disappointed glare, shook her head and grabbed her bag: "And you say I had trust issues."

He grabbed her arm and stopped her from walking by: "I've every reason to be carefull if it happens to be true."

"So had I.", she met his eyes and for a short moment they were both thinking of the time she had left him chained up at the giant's wall.

"This is different.", he almost whispered.

"Is it?", she freed her arm softly out of his grip and walked ahead.

It was. He wasn't betraying her at the moment.

Emma arrived at home again. When she left her car, Henry ran towards her a huge smile in his face: "They are almost done."

"Done? With what?"

"With rebuilding everything.", Henry looked up to her in excitement: "The dwarfs and Ruby and her Grams are here to help us and they are so fast."

"Okay kid. How about letting me get inside first? Than I might know what you are talking about.", she smiled at him and pulled him inside an arm put around his shoulders.

It was amazing! She had been gone for how long? Two hours?

The livingroom was completely cleaned up again. In front of the door to her bedroom were boxes with her things stacked up. From inside there was coming a lot of noise. She came closer and watched the dwarfs, Ruby, David and Mary Margret rebuilding her bedroom while Ruby's Grandmother was running around between them with a tray carrying cups with coffee.

Mary Margret noticed her and came out to talk with her: "Isn't this amazing? They all came to help us. We have such good friends."

"Friends you owe now.", shouted Ruby through the doorframe.

Emma smiled: "And you were so fast. I have a guilty conscience for not helping you until now."

"I guess you won't do it now eihter."

Emma frowned: "Why not?"

"Neal. I guess you should pay him a visit.", she seemed a little worried: "He was feeling ill. That's why he isn't here now."

"Okay. I'll check that.", Emma frowned.

"Don't worry. It's okay. We can do it alone. You don't need to feel guilty.", Mary Margret smiled at her: "See you later."

She went back inside and helped David placing an build cupboard at the next wall.

Emma made sure that no one was listening to them, before she turned around and whispered: "Henry, do you still have them?"

"Yes.", he said proudly.

"Great. Hide them under one of those cupboards in my bedroom, okay? But make sure that no one notices it. If you need to you can even make a whole in the wall, okay?"

"Yes!", Henry smiled and stretched himself to place a kiss on her cheek: "I'll do it!"

"Thank you.", Emma smiled. She had won!


	21. Chapter 21

**Part twenty one, or how to survive meeting a person you once knew**

Hook stood at the reilling of the Jolly Roger watching the sea.

His plans were defeated again. Emma had fooled him and there was not even a little hint on where those keys were now. He had hoped he could sneak into Rumplestiltskin's house without leaving even a single trace of his appearience, but now he would have to simply break in like he had had into Emma's flat just this morning.

He closed his eyes for a moment and listened to the sounds of the ocean in front of him. That was the only thing that was equal to his home. Sometimes he even found himself missing the ocean he had burried Milah.

He tourned around and checked the deck of his ship. Usually someone was suddenly showing up if he was thinking of such things lately. He was relieved to notice that there was nobody.

Hook slowly passed the deck and entered his cabin again. His gaze met the frame with the drawn picture of Milah again. What her ghost had told him the night before was still hunting him. It was hurting very deep and at the same time it put him in rage.

He got the clothes out from under his desk again, where he had tried to hide them of Smee and Emma and stumbled over one of the jacket's arms when he noticed the card of the tunnels on his desk again.

Emma had placed her back there before. She had even emptied it on it. Oh…she was good! She had done it on purpose to finally be able to take a look on it since he had stopped her the night before.

He couldn't help but be impressed by this. She had done it again. He was feeling like an idiot now again! He had even noticed that she had been staring on her bag for a moment believing she was focusing her bag and not his card underneath it! He was sure this wouldn't have worked if he wouldn't have been troubled with this whole ghost stuff happening to him right now. It wouldn't have worked if his head wouldn't have been so full with things that had happened and were happening right now and on top of that his troubled feelings for Milah.

"It's not just your head."

Hook winced and turned to face the person in his back. He frowned: "Who are you?"

"Have you already forgotten me?", the woman in front of him said. Her brown hair was falling over her right shoulder and she was dressed in something like a suit just with a skirt instead of pants. She was somehow familiar to him.

He pressed his eyes together and focused on her face through the slit of his eyes. He had even seen her in this town if he was thinking closely about it.

She seemed disappointed: "And that after we have went to Neverland together!"

"Nova?", he stared at her. Was that really the fairy who had suddenly appeared on his ship one night crying like the world was about to end just because of a dwarf who had been stupid enough to leave her?

"Oh, you finally remember.", she smiled.

Of course he did. She had left him behind in Neverland because she hadn't liked what he had wanted to do with Arielle and had teamed up with the Pan boy instead. In the end she had told him of Belle. It had been his prize for leaving Neverland again. She had sent him back to the enchanted forest with his crew and his beloved Jolly Roger.

"What are you doing here?", he kept staring at her. A fairy never showed up without having something in her mind.

"You actually should be used to it right now.", she said smiling at him like she was sorry for him: "I'm number four."

He needed a moment to understand this: "So you are going to show me the future?"

"No.", she said giving him scolding glance: "We've decided that you are a special case. Because you are that stubborn I've needed to come here to show you more of the present."

"I'm not stubborn."

She stepped closer and pushed a finger into his chest: "But you are! You don't care about the others like you don't care for yourself. All you have in mind and in your heart right now is your stupid revenge that won't help anyone. You burry everything else underneath it. That's why it takes longer to finally wake you up again."

Hook sighed and looked at his desk.

"What?"

"I'm actually a little disappointed since I wanted to see the future so badly."

Nove kicked him: "Come on. We don't have time for this!"

She took his arm and pulled him to the door. She shrinked and flew through a little hole in the door he had never noticed before with the wings that had grown out of her back.

Hook stared down to it untill she suddenly pushed her head through the hole again: "What's wrong? Why aren't you coming?"

He reached for the door but his hand went right through it.

"Oh. I've forgotten.", she came back and rose again: "Since I was a fairy in the enchanted forest I'll travel like this now either but you won't always be able to understand me like this.", she reached into one of her pockets and blew something into his face: "So we have to shrink you as well!"

Hook caughed badly until he was able to breath again. He opened his eyes and looked at a wall where just a moment before had been the door. He looked a long the wall and found a huge tunnel. But there was no tunnel on his ship!

He frowned and turned on his heels. The desk, his desk, was as huge as a mountain. The picture of Milah was even out of his sight.

"Are you ready?"

He tourned around again and stared at Nova who was flying in front of him in disbelieve: "Are you insane? What have you done to me?"

"Calm down."

"But I don't want to calm down! I'm as small as a mouse! A bloody mouse!"

Nove sighed and rolled her eyes waiting for him to stop complaining in cursing everything that had to do with her and her try to change him. When he didn't stop even after a moment, she simply kicked him through the hole: "You are so annoying! The faster we get through this and you see and understand what you have to, the faster you are back to your normal size again. So stop shouting and follow me!"

"And where are we going now?", he asked still mumbeling.

She grabbed his vest in his neck and took him along flying over the sea to Storybrook: "To Emma."

"Again?", he rolled his eyes. But than an idea popped up in his head. Maybe he would be able to find out where she was hiding the keys in the end.

"You need to see the peoble you are in touch with ans she is the one you have to do with the most in this town. And on top of that she is not your enemy!"

"I'd prefer Rumplestiltskin.", he sighed while hanging down from her hands like a piece of package: "That would be better."

"Forget it. We won't help you getting your revenge on him!", she let him fall.

Hook couldn't help but scream. There was nothing to stop him from falling. All he could see was the ground coming nearer in a high speed.

Something suddenly grabbed him in his back and took him up again: "Ups. I slipped."

He needed a moment to breath normally again. This stupid fairy! He should have known it. She had never been able to carry something while flying after all she had told him while their journey to Neverland.

She sat him down. Hook opened his eyes and found himself standing on Emma's shoulder. He frowned and looked around searching for Nova.

"I'm up here.", she sounded amused while flying above him: "See you inside."

He watched her disappearing through the wall in front of him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Part twenty-two, or how to survive noticing pain growing inside of you**

He heared Emma sigh and concentrated on her again.

She seemed nervous as she knocked at the door again she was standing in front of. Hook looked around trying to keep his balance. They were in a large corridor. Beside the door in front of them was a huge number. Was this an inn?

Emma shook her head in disappointment what caused him a lot of trouble in keeping his balance. He reached for a strand of her hair and sat down on her shoulder. Something caught his attention. It was a smell. He frowned and looked down on the hair he was holding in his right hand for a long moment. He had never noticed that she was smelling that good before.

The door in front of them suddenly opened and Neal appeared in the doorframe. He looked awful!

"Are you alright?", asked Emma slightly worried: "You look awful."

Neal tried to smile at her but it ended up to be a strange grimace: "Don't worry. I'm just as fine as you can be with a headache that seems to burn your head. Do you want to come in?"

He stepped aside to leave her space. Hook had a hard time not to fall from her shoulder. Emma sat down on the couch and waited for Neal: "When I saw you yesterday afternoon you seemed alright. What happened to you?"

"Got a little drunk, that's all.", he sat down in front of her and looked into her eyes: "I'm sorry for what has happened to your flat. I would have come to help you but…well…my head…"

"It's okay.", she stopped him from apologizing: "I was just worried for you."

Hook moaned. This was going to be boring. They went silent again. They didn't know what to talk about. So he had been right. Emma didn't love him anymore! A feeling of satisfaction ran through his vains causing his mood to lighten up. He had been right!

"It's not working, is it?", Neal asked slowly without looking at her.

"No. I'm afraid not.", she whispered looking at him like she was sorry.

"But why?", Neal finally met her eyes and hissed his eyebrows: "Have I done something again?"

"No.", she stopped him: "It definetely is not your fault, Neal. Maybe I haven't tried enough."

"But you did.", he smiled sadly at her: "You tried a lot. It is not your fault. I guess when I hadn't –"

"Maybe we have been seperated for just too long.", she whispered stopping him before he could say what was troubeling her somehow: "Maybe we have changed too much?"

"I guess so.", he frowned: "I'm still the same guy you met in that car. But you have changed. You are better."

"This is not about beeing better or worse, Neal. We are just different. I guess we don't have the same goals anymore.", she explained: "I guess I'm just pushing you away and I don't know why."

Neal gave her a sad smile: "But I do. You can't trust me anymore. And I can't blame you for that."

"But I do trust you."

"But not like this.", he explained: "You've tried to do it a lot, but you just can't."

"Have I?", Emma frowned: "I don't know."

"You have tried it for Henry.", Neal said looking sorrowful into her eyes: "But you haven't for yourself. I don't want to blame you. It is not your fault, Emma. You just don't have a reason to love me anymore."

"A reason?", she frowned: "What does that mean?"

"I think you have found something that is more important to you now. You've found your son, your parents and all those people here you cherish like they were a part of your family, too.", he almost laughed: "Even Regina seems to be included somehow. But there is no place for me anymore."

"I'm sorry, Neal."

"You don't need to.", he seemed almost relieved but he couldn't hide his sadness: "After everything I've done to you and believe me, I've always regreted it, you choosed to be with me again. It made me really happy. But I can't go on like this anymore since it's making you sad. I won't break up the contact to Henry, don't worry. He is my son after all and I really do love him. And I would be glad if you'd allow me to stay in contact with you as well."

"Of course.", a tear ran down her cheek.

Neal layed a hand on hers, which she had placed on her knee: "It's not your fault, Emma."

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

Neal stood up to sit beside her, when Hook noticed that he was carressing her hair. He frowned and winced, when that guy suddenly layed an arm around her shoulders, that went right through him.

"I'm useless.", she said frowning and staring paralyzed on the little desk in front of them. It wasn't more than a whisper: "Just like a dead bean."

Hook stared at her remembering exactly what she was reafering to. Guilt boiled in his stomach and made its way into his heart. He couldn't stop staring at her and felt like he had ran a knife right through her back. He didn't want to see this anymore! He wanted to push his feelings away and to burry himself under his wish for revenge again!

"You are not useless.", Neal said empathizing: "You have done so much for the people in this town , for Henry and for me. Thanks to you I finally know my son and there was no need for you to do that."

"So what?"

"You have broken the curse."

"Just because Rumplestiltskin had planned it."

"You found me and you gave me the feeling that I was worth a try even though I've done so many mistakes. You gave Henry a hold and a mother he could always ask for help and who loves him. And you have given him a stepmother who finally loves him that much, that she is doing everything in her power to be worth his love.", Neal ashured her: "You allowed your parents to be part of you life again and fullfilled their biggest whish with that." Now he almost laughed: "You even made Regina giving the hearts back to the people Cora and her had stolen back in the enchanted forest."

Nova suddenly landed beside him on Emma's shoulder: "I guess this is enough now."

Hook didn't react. He just kept staring at Emma.

"But I'm still useless. It's not enough."

"Because of this idiotic pirate and Gold?", Neal asked a little angry: "They are just too stubborn, Emma. But I know that if someone can change that, it definetely is you!"

She seemed embaressed a bit: "I'm a great saviour sitting here crying like a stupid kid."

Neal took his arm back and stood up again: "You are a human after all. You shouldn't forget that. You need to be able to show your pain and your weeknesses if you don't want to end up like this pirate. If you don't do this sometimes, you cant be yourself anymore."

Emma sighed: "That stupid pirate…" She kept thinking hard and frowned.

"By the way. You have saved him a lot of times already. Everytime you stopped him you saved him. I guess right now you are the biggest saviour for him. Or better… he is the person who needed you the most lately.", Neal growled: "If he really is that smart than he should know that."

Emma looked up to him: "Thank you."

Neal smiled at her like in old times: "Want some tea?"

"Yes. I'd love to."

He walked to the water boiler he had placed on his cupboard and turned it on: "It's my fault you've stopped listening to your heart, I guess. I've hurt you so much when I let you alone back than."

Nova grabbed his arm decidingly and pulled him along.

"What are you doing? I want to hear that!"

"If you want to know it, than just ask her!, she grabbed his vest and flew through the wall with him: "I'm sure you will get some kind of an answer."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that.", Hook growled: "We're not friends you know. And on top of that she's trust issues."

"Oh and you are such a good person who has no problems with anything."

"Yes."

"So I'm here for fun or what?", now she was angry: "I can't believe you are still pretending to be above everything after what you just saw and heared what they were talking about you!"

"What now?", he asked changing the subject on purpose: "Are you going to let me fall again?"

Nove acted like she was really thinking about it: "Hm… sounds like a great idea. But we don't have the time for this."

"So what are you going to show me next?"

"Since your failures seem to suddenly mean something to you…I've got to think about it for a moment, before I do anything."

"Sounds boring."

"Well, this isn't about having fun."

Hook frowned.

Nova sighed and let him fall again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Part twenty-three, or how to survive talking with a smart kid**

He was lying on the floor again. His head was aching like hell. He reahed for his left temple. Bloody fairy. He was bleeding! She had let him fall crashing with his head into the table! He pushed himself from the ground again and met his reflection in his mirror. The blanket had fallen off. He reached for it and was just about to place it back, when Nora's face suddenly appeared in it: "What are you doing?"

"You stupid fea. You let me fall again! I got inured."

"Sorry. But we had to hurry.", she didn't seem even a bit sorry.

"And why that?"

"Because you've got a visitor."

"And who is it?"

"You'll see.", she smiled.

"You stupid fairy.", he growled: "You are too stupid for everything!"

"What are you doing there?"

Hook winzed and tourned on his heels. Henry was standing right in front of him.

"I've warned you.", Nova said from behind his back out of the mirror.

Hook sighed annoyed.

"I'm sorry. I knocked but you didn't answer so….", Henry apologized thinking he had meant him and not the fairy behind his back: "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"No.", Nova said angrily: "You are not. You are nuts, because you are feeling guilty for Emma's pain and you are confused that you even care about it. And on top of that you are still wondering where she has hidden your keys."

Hook tourned around: "Could you just shut up?"

"And you haven't even noticed that you have forgotten the conversation you had with Milah last night.", she smiled evely.

Hook was just about to explode, when Henry started to talk again: "I'm sorry. I didn't want to just sneak in without you wanting it. I just heared you saying something and thought you'd asked me to come in."

Hook glared at Nova: "That was your doing, right?"

Nova just smiled at him while Henry answered him: "What? I don't understand."

Hook sighed and turned around again. The kid was watching him with big eyes. He was not good with kids. He was a pirate after all! What should he do?

"Are you alright?", Henry asked carefully.

"Why are you here kid?", he heared himself asking without having thought of something to say. He frowned.

"Well, I wanted to talk with you."

"And about what?", again. It was like he wasn't leading his body himself anymore. He managed to take a look back at the mirror. Nova smiled knowingly at him: "I thought I could help you with this."

"Mom."

Great!

"What's wrong with her?", that wasn't him again. He would kill her! He didn't want to hear any of this!

"You can't kill me since I'm just a ghost right now.", she giggled.

"Well… She is always so troubled when she comes back from you. She doesn't want to show it, but I can see it.", Henry said a sad expression on his face: "Until today I guess she hasn't even been sleeping properly."

"And what do you want from me now?", he frowned.

"Could you just stop causing her so much trouble?", Henry asked: "I know you like her. Maybe you could just stay away from her as a favour for her?"

He felt himself leaning back at the cupboard behind him: "Kid. It's not that easy. I've got goals myself."

"I know.", Henry's face got even more sorrowfull: "I just hoped you could leave her out of it."

"And how could I do that?", he heared himself asking again: "Just telling her to stay away from me didn't work you know?"

"I know. She cares too much for you."

"What?"

Henry looked into his eyes again: "She cares for you. She was even a little nervous when she noticed that you were in Storybrook. I don't understand why, but she was."

"I guess, she was because she had knocked me out before she came back here.", he felt himself sitting down in his chair: "Say, aren't you scared of me Henry?"

"I don't know. I guess yes. But I know that you are not a bad person."

"And what makes you so sure about that?", he asked himself now. Nova had freed her grib on him a little but he could still feel her in the back of his head.

"Your eyes.", Henry said honestly: "There are different from Golds or Cora's. You are not bad. At least not at all."

"Henry, are you all right?", he heared himself asking again. That was so annoying.

The boy nodded slightly: "Yes."

"You're not.", Nova!

Henry looked down to his feet: "I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"Emma. She is not happy. I can see it. Something is troubeling her and she is blocking something inside of her. Like me when I have a guilty conscience after lying to mom."

The boy sighed and came to the desk between them: "I think she is trying to be with Neal because of me. But it's not good for her and for him it isn't either."

"And what do you think would be good for her?"

He didn't say anything and looked to the side. After moment he sighed and met his eyes again: "Why do you need to get this revenge on Mr. Gold so badly?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Why not?"

"Because no one does."

"Try me."

"It's not a subject to talk about with a young boy like you."

Henry sighed again: "Can't you just talk with her? I'm sure she will understand it. Emma is good in such things especially if she cares for the person who is talking with her." He suddenly stopped and stared at him like he had said something he better hadn't meantioned.

"She won't talk with me. She doesn't trust me, you know?", Nova was gone. He was alone with the kid now.

Henry smiled: "But she wants to. I can tell!"

"How would you know that?", Hook frowned.

"She is my mother after all.", Henry still smiled: "Have you even tried to ask her?"

"One time.", he remembered how they had been locked up in a cave because of Cora. The dwarfs had taken their time to free them again, so he had risked to ask her. She hadn't answered him. She had countered with a question for Milah herself. They had dropped those subjects and he had never asked her again.

"But things have changed lately.", Henry said hopefully: "Maybe if you'd try it again she would tell you."

"The problem is, that she wants to know something in return, you know?", Hook tried to explain: "And I don't really want to share the answeres."

"So you don't trust her?"

"That's not what it is about.", he smiled a bit: "She would want to know what happened to me that I want to get my revenge so badly."

"And why can't you just tell her?", Henry asked slightly confused.

Yeah, why couldn't he? He searched for the answer deep inside himself. Because it was hurting too much to talk about it. No…. that wasn't the only reason. He was afraid. Afraid of what she might be seeing in him for beeing such a fool. For loosing the one person who had meant so much to him.

"Because it hurts a lot.", he lied to him.

"So it's about more than just your hand?", Henry asked a little confused.

"Didn't she tell you?", Hook frowned.

"She told me, you wanted to get revenge because he cut your hand off.", Henry said watching him carefully.

Hook broke the eyecontact and kept frowning. If he was thinking closely about it, Snow white and Charming didn't know either.

He sighed: "If I promise to try it again if you go home now. This definetely isn't a place for a kid."

Henry seemed disappointed: "Why not."

"Didn't you just say you were worried for your mother?", Hook leaned forward in his chair: "And wouldn't she be worried if she knew that you were here now?"

The boy sighed and turned around again to leave: "You should stop talking with your reflection. It's a little weird, you know?"

Hook leaned back again and laughed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Part twenty-four, or how to survive beeing honest with each other**

Emma closed the door to her office, hang her jacket at the wall and entered the space with the desks. David would be late today, but it wasn't that much of a problem. There wasn't going on a lot since Hook had destroyed her bedroom yesterday.

She sighed. The break up with Neal had been hard in a very spezific kind of way. It was like she had finally made peace with her past. It felt great but at the same time it was like finally leaving school or something like that. It was a feeling of loss. Like an old friend had finally left her.

Emma entered her little corner and was suddenly faced with Hook sitting in her chair. That was…surprising. It was actually a little weird to see him there. It didn't match. He wasn't the type of person to sit on that side of the cell.

She frowned and stared at him for a moment before she came up with something: "What? Are you checking my office now?"

"What?"

"Your keys.", she explained a little confused: "Aren't you looking for them?"

"Are they here?"

"No.", she said sarcastically: "But why would you believe me."

He smiled and stood up again: "I thought we could have a little talk."

"About what?"

"About the time when you betrayed me for excample."

"Don't see what is there to talk about.", she said frowning again: "It's done. Can't take it back and I'm still not sure if it was a wrong decision."

"For someone who is able to see through lies like you, you are a really bad liar yourself.", he came closer looking right into her eyes.

"Am I.", she couldn't hide her amusement: "And what about the time you asked me if I had ever been in love before?" Not to mention just yesterday when she had assured him that she hadn't taken his keys but she wouldn't tell him that!

"Okay.", he admited: "But not this time. Have you forgotten? Open book!"

She frowned. They hadn't been talking like that for a long time. It was strange! She wasn't sure that she wanted to keep on like this.

"What do you want?"

"I just told you.", he seemed a little surprised until a knowing expression appeared in his eyes: "Ah, I see… The trust issue again."

"I don't have time for stupid games."

"Why not?"

"Hook. Tomorrow is christmas. I have a lot of paperwork left and I'd love to leave before sunset. So no! I don't have time for this.", surrounded him and threw her bag on the desk.

"I know you have noticed the card when you wanted to prove that you hadn't the keys in your bag.", he didn't turn around to face her again.

Emma froze for a second: "So what?"

"Don't you come up with a little innuendo like you always use them on me?", he seemed amused.

"No. And actually you are the one using innuendos all the time."

"Why not?", he finally turned to face her again ignoring her last sentence.

She pointed at her desk that seemed about to crack under the load of papers on its top: "Like I said. I don't have time."

"Than I guess you don't want to know that your little boy was on my ship yesterday either.", he watched her knowing that he was playing his cards well right now.

She stared up to him: "Why that?"

"He was a little worried for you.", Hook acted like it meant nothing to him and sit down on her desk with one half of his back: "I told him to leave but he said, if I wouldn't explain my actions to you, he would show up on the Roger again."

"So?", she asked.

"So what?", he acted dumb maybe enyoing it a little too much.

"So why don't you get just over with it?", she said angryly: "I don't want him to do that again."

"Well, I actually have one condition.", he said getting earnest again.

"And what is it?", she said slightly exhausted. It was true. She wasn't as fine as usually.

Hook frowned: "I want answeres in return."

"Answeres like?"

"Why you betrayed me up that bloody beanstalk."

"Because I didn't trust you.", she said: "But as I can remember I'd already told you."

"You said that you couldn't take the chance to be wrong about me. But I guess you actually wanted to trust me. The question is: Why didn't you just do it?"

"It was too risky.", she answered without hesitating: "I didn't know if you would just push your hook into my bag if you suddenly wanted to."

Hook frowned and watched her for a long moment: "I had done nothing to make you insecure about me. And I still believe that you trusted me. There had been no reason for you to do this."

She frowned for a moment unable to find an answere on that. He was right and they knew it both: "I just couldn't take the risk to be wrong."

He sighed: "I believe something has happened to you in the past and that was actually the reason for you to betray me." He knew it. He had never thought of it until he had noticed the hints while his little further ecucation he had gotten through this bloody ghosts hunting him.

She froze. So he had been right. Hook sighed: "Okay. Listen. If you finally want to stop your son to show up on the Roger again, you should come to the roof of the library and we have a little talk. How about this late midday? Around five o'clock? You would even have enough time to get back to your family before sunset."

She didn't answer him.

"Well, I'll be there.", he turned to leave when he almost ran into David suddenly appearing in front of him not less surprised than him. His expression really fast changed from surprised to snorting with rage.

"What are you doing here?", he growled promising nothing good.

"I was just about to leave again.", he tried to stay calm. There was nothing worse than a father trying to protect his daughter, he could tell. And it didn't matter how old the daughter was!

"I'll take you outside."

"I guess I can find the way myself."

"I'll make sure of it."

"There is no need to do so."

"I believe there is."

"It's not so hard to find and I'm a smart boy after all."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that. Smart boys don't damage the flat of the sheriff!"

"Don't know what you are talking about."

"Of course you don't!"

"David.", Emma said a little annoyed now: "We have a lot of work to do and I finally made him leave on his own, so could you guys stop this before he changes his mind again?"

"You don't need to worry about that.", David said without leaving Hook out of is stare: "I'll make sure he leaves anyway."

Emma sighed: "Fine! Than I'll just leave now. But do me a favour and repair what you damage after wards."

She stood up and waited.

"No need for that, love.", Hook said pronouncing the last word without even really knowing why he was angering him even more with it on purpose: "I'll leave on my own."

He turned defying death around and left them both in his back while he slowly left the office.

Emma sighed and fell back into her chair again: "Was that reall necessary?"

"He has destroyed everything in your room.", David said annoyed: "It took us a whole day to reapare and clean everything up again. And that only because our friends helped us. So yes. It definetely was necessary!"

Emma sighed again and focused on the piece of paper she had gotten out of the stack before.

"What did he even want from you?", David asked getting himself a chair to sit with her at her desk and grabbing a record himself.

Emma sighed: "He is looking for a bunch of keys he has lost."

"Do you mean the keys you gave Henry to hide them?"

Emma stared at him in surprise.

"You stole them from him, didn't you?"

"How?"

"I noticed him trying to create a hole in the wall behind the biggest of your cabinets to put them inside. I helped him when the others were gone and Snow was taking a shower.", David watched her closely: "She doesn't know it. You stole them, didn't you?"

Emma sighed and leaned back in her chair like she was giving up: "How do you know?"

"You are my daughter.", he said almost smiling sadly: "And that's why I know that you didn't steal them without a good reason for it. What are those keys for?"

She gave herself a jolt: "When I was on his ship two nights ago to make him tell me where Belle was and I had saved him out of the ocean, I noticed the keys. He had forgotten them in his wet jacket and was getting them out of it, when he was giving me clothes I could change into. When he came back from Belle again, I stole them out of his jacket."

David frowned: "How close were you two?"

"That's not important.", she said and when she met his serious expression she gave up: "We were arguing. I just used it. Nothing has happened. You can calm down again. Well, when I got home and had a moment for myself without Mary Margret around, I got the keys out of his jacket and hid them in my bedroom. But I had noticed to late that I had lost one of the keys. Mary Margret wanted to just throw the clothes away. So I took them and made sure not to loose the key when I put everything into the bin. Later on Smee was sneaking around the bin. So I took the clothes back inside and got the key out either."

"How did you know that one was missing?", David was slightly confused.

"Well, it's the bunch of keys Regina had had to sneak into our houses when the curse hadn't been broken yet. Henry had stolen them before to prove me, that he had been right about Regina. We had tried the keys at our door, so I knew the one missing. When I put the ring with the keys into my desk beside the bed, I had noticed it was missing."

"And what than?"

"I was pretty sure that he had sent Smee to check if I had the keys and I thought it had been suspicious that he took the clothes back inside again after throwing them away. So I gave the keys to Henry. He hid them in his backpack and went to play with one of his friends. Believe me, I had no idea he would go that far! I thought he would just show up and take a look around without anyone of us even noticing that he had been in our flat.", she sighed shaking her head: "I didn't expact him to do that. After that I went to face him for what he had done and made sure he wouldn't show up again to search for the keys."

"And you wanted to place them inside your bedroom through Henry so even you wouldn't know where they were and because he had checked your bedroom the most and knew excactly that they weren't there.", David finished impressed: "That's geniusly."

"Thanks.", Emma said a little relieved until her father frowned again: "What?"

"I was just wondering where you've learned stealing that well, if you were even able to fool a pirate like Hook."

"That's a long story. We don't have time for that now. There is a lot of work we have to do now that we haven't been here the past two days."

David sighed and opened the record in his hands: "You are right."


	25. Chapter 25

**Part twenty-five, or how to survive the idea of trusting each other**

It was getting dark already. He had been sitting here for at least an hour. So he guessed she wasn't coming anymore. Hook sighed. Too bad. What now? Of course he didn't want to talk with her only because he wanted to do the kid a favour but because he was curious about it on top of it. He had been interested in her story since they had met the first time. It had been his reason for asking her all those stuff when they had been climbing up that bloody beanstalk. Okay… it hadn't been the only reason since he had been looking for a weak point that might had been usefull for him either, but it had been a big one. Especially after he had told her to try something new called trust he had wanted to know what had happened to her to be so suspicious. He had gotten curious about her even more than since the moment she had bested him at this bloody tree.

He had decided to leave his revenge for an hour behind and she just decided not to show up. That was disappointing. He would have never imagined her to just stay away after mentioning Henry. And on top of it he had used his charms!

He slowly stood up again and pushed the dust off his clothes. It had gotten quiet cold up here. Even his jacket wasn't keeping him warm anymore and that had to mean something since he had used to wear it while traveling on the ocean.

"I wouldn't have thought you would still be here.", she sounded confused when she suddenly whispered that.

Hook turned around and looked at her: "I thought you weren't coming anymore."

"I was actually considering it.", she said frowning before she pointed with her left thumb back over her shoulder: "The entrance isn't that easy to find either. Not to mention that I had to break in."

He smiled: "I thought if someone was able to rob me while talking with me and without me noticing it right away a little door shouldn't be so much of a problem."

"You still believe I had the keys?", she came closer slowly hissing an eyebrow.

"I believe there is more to you than you want to know anybody.", he laughed and leaned back at the tower with the clock behind him pushing his hand and his hook into the pockets of his jacket: "But I guess Neal already knows it."

She stopped a few feet away from him not saying anything about that subject. She felt like she had stepped into a trap or like she was about to do it at least. She hated that!

"I've heared weird stories today.", Hook started slowly: "About Neal and you finally stopping your little act."

"What act?", she frowned.

"Well, of trying to be together again.", he said slowly without looking at her. He didn't want to anger or to scare her away because she was believing he wanted to much.

"What do you want to hear now? That you were right?", she was angry. Well, that was something he was able to deal with.

"Actually no.", he said finally meeting her eyes again.

Emma stared at him unable to understand him: "What do want?"

"Answeres."

"What answeres?"

He smiled: "Are you scared?"

"What answeres?"

"Just like I said. It's only about your problem with trust.", he said frowning a little: "I just want to know what happened to you that you are unable to trust me after all this time."

"And why should I possibly tell you anything? You of all people?", she said staring at him slightly confused.

He came slowly closer: "How about making a deal?"

"What deal?", she watched his every move still not able to understand why he would be so interested in it. It would be of no use for him after all.

"I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours.", he locked into her eyes like he wanted to calm a scared horse.

She considered it. She couldn't believe it herself. She really did consider it. Maybe because she had finally ended her issues with Neal. But maybe she was just too curious about his story about Milah. She still couldn't understand what she would have meant to him if he was trying to achieve his revenge to that extent.

Sure she could understand that he wanted to get revenge for her death. But that he kept holding on to it without even letting go of it for a single second without trying to life on without it just for one single day. Doing everything just to achieve this. It was getting over her imagination somehow. Okay…if it had happened one day or a year ago… she would be able to understand it but not after at least thirty years! The pain had to have finally vanished by now maybe leaving a track but not beeing that actual anymore!

"How will I know that you really tell me about Milah?", she asked curious leaning her head to one side but never leaving his eyes out of her look.

"I'll start.", he said locking her with his eyes.

He was honest. That was strange. She frowned: "Why now?"

He sighed: "Emma can't you just accept it? I even want to start and I've no reason to trust you after all those times you fooled me. Especially not after robbing my keys. Can't you just try to trust me for once?"

She stared at him for a long moment before she suddenly broke their eye contact and turned to leave: "No."

He grabbed her arm softly and she faced him again: "Have I lied to you?"

She sighed: "I think you believe you are honest right now."

"But you expect me to use it against you one day?", he sighed as well: "How could it be useful for me?"

Emma shook her head: "Beeing useful isn't always about achieving goals."

"You think I'll use it against you to hurt you?", Hook let go of her arm and tried to be the charming one again: "In that case you will have enough munitions to shoot back, I promise."

"Why do you suddenly want me to open up to you that badly?"

Hook gave it a thought. Because of her son? No. Because he was just too curious? Maybe but he had always been. Maybe because he had seen all those things within the past days? He couldn't possibly tell her that! She would believe he was insane. No…. because he had seen the pain in her eyes when she had remembered him saying she was useless.

He frowned and instead of telling her that what would have simply been impossible he heared himself saying: "I don't know."

She stared at him and he was already believing that she would call him a liar again. But she didn't. She just frowned: "Could it be that you don't even know yourself that you were just telling me the truth?"

Hook stared at her for a moment. Than he laughed: "I guess you are right." He really believed it. It was strange. He had thought of so many explanations for his sudden interest in her story but the truth was he really didn't know. He just wanted to never say anything that would hurt her that deeply like back than without knowing it.

When he had compared her to the bean back than he had simply wanted to make her insecure for a the time she would be locked up in that bloody cell. Nothing more. He would have never imagined her to remember it till today.

He sighed: "So what now?"

"She looked around: "It's pretty cold up here."

"Your jacket isn't warm enough."

"You are even freezing yourself!"

"You let me wait for you a whole hour. Of course I'm freezing."

"Than how about we sit down in the library?"

"Aren't you afraid Belle could become angry and send Rumplestiltskin to punish you for it?"

She stared at him for a long moment: "Oh my… You really have too much imagination. Unlike you Belle trusts me."

He held the door open for her and laughed: "Love, you are the one with the trust issues, not me!"

"And how would you call your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. It just happens that everyone else has a problem with me."

"And how could anyone possibly understand that?", she said sarcastically with him following her on her heels down the stairs: "You would never cause anyone not to trust you."

Now he had to laugh openly: "Okay. Now even I can't believe that anymore."

"I'd say you have a problem with letting go."

"Really?"

"Definitely.", she opened the door and disappeared in the darkness for a moment leaving him behind: "You don't really believe I was wrong about that, do you?"

"Hell, I'm still dealing with your little idea of me chasing for revenge for myself instead of Milah.", his face went dark somehow. She could see it because the light of the streets were lightning it somehow. It was the same expression that usually scared everyone off. But she had never backed away from it. She always had the guts to face it and to push forward. The question now was….did she have the guts to trust him? To trust him enough to tell him her weakest point in her past? Cause that was what he was actutally asking for. He wanted her to trust him with the truth about herself. A truth that would always be a part of her and that was binding them somehow. They had been standing at these imaginative door before for his arrival in Storybrook. But they had both decided to leave it behind.

She wasn't sure if she was ready to open the door now. It was hiding too much pain and disappointment. But now after she had finally settled her problems with Neal after she had an honest conversation with him, she might be able to talk about it.

The strange thing was just that she would have expected Mary Margret or David or even both to be the persons she would finally open up to. Not Hook!

"Say, did you use one of my keys to get in here, love?", he wasn't standing where she had left him anymore.

"No.", she said looking to the windows of the library. There would be nothing to hide them. She stepped to the sitting quarter that was hidden behind a few shelves and frowned. Maybe that place would be good?

"What are you doing?"

She looked back to the window: "I'm just making sure that nobody will notice us here."

"What? Want to be alone with me that much?"

She rolled her eyes and answered sarcastically: "Yeah of course."

Emma heared him chuckle somewhere behind her: "Or are you afraid of Rumplestiltskin?"

"I'm not afraid of him. I'm just not as much a fan of beeing his enemy as you seem to be.", she turned around and winced. He was standing right of her. She even had to look up to him! Why hadn't she noticed it?

"Oh, you've no idea what you are actually missing.", his voice was low and she wasn't sure anymore if he was just talking of his fight with Gold or if he was including something else. She didn't want to let that thought pop up in her mind and locked it away again.

Since the moment she had found him lying on the ground underneath these bodies in the enchanted forest she had created a chest inside herself where she was locking up all thoughts and ideas that were implying more than just conversation, fighting and argumenting. Lately the locks had gotten weaker. She would need to check them and add some more!

Emma stepped around him and turned on the light in the sitting quarter: "We should be fine here."

Hook who had been looking down on his hook for a moment looked up to her again through his long eyelashes now, this weird smile on his lips that was making her questioning her distrust again. She swallowed.

"Great.", he came closer, took off his jacket and sat down on the couch Belle had added for the kids and those who just wanted to read in here. He sighed deeply and stared at the table in front of him: "That's harder than I thought it would be. If never told about it with even a single person."

Emma held her breath.

"Where shall I start?", he seemed lost somehow. She had never seen him like this before. She couldn't help but to feel sorry for him. Maybe they had gotten too close already. Or maybe she was just too used to ask him for the story. But right now, she didn't know what to do. When they had hardly known each other it had been easier to talk with him about all this. It hadn't been a problem to ask him of Milah and Rumplestiltskin. But now…she was nervous.

She swallowed again and said something even though she didn't trust her voice right now: "I know that Milah had been Rumplestiltskin's wife. But how did you meet her?"

Hook smiled slightly when he remembered: "We had landed at this little harbour. I can't even remember the name. There weren't living many people. There was this little pub that was crowded a lot. My men had been shouting and drinking. They had been pretty loud while repeating all our advantures."

He smiled. He even seemed like another person. It was unbelievable. She knew him and didn't know him at the same time. It was the part he had always be hiding that was shining through now. It was amazing somehow.

"Milah had been sitting behind me. She had been listening to them with curiousity. I wouldn't even have noticed her, if she hadn't pulled at my jacket to ask me if they were telling the truth.", Hook frowned: "I had been interested in her since the first moment I'd seen her. It had been strange. Listening to her was like meeting my old self again. An old self I seemed to had lost back than. She was full of dreams and wishes. She wanted adventures and she loved the sea. She wasn't even afraid of facing my men what was impressive!

She wanted to be free."

They kept silent for a moment.

She watched him carefully. While he had been talking of her he had been free. Emma had seen it in his expression. There was not a single trace of his hunger for revenge. There was only love for a person he had loved.

"Her husband had appeared to take her home again and she didn't want to come along. She let him leave the tavern alone and joined me instead. She even left her son behind and believe me, that hadn't been easy for her. She was regreting it every day. But she was finally free and that had been more important to her than anything else. Well…maybe even more than me.", he frowned: "When we had been about to set sail again, her husband had shown up on my Jolly. He had wanted her back. I had told him, that she was dead."

Emma stared at her. That was so cruel!

He met her eyes: "What?"

She frowned biting her lip before answering: "Why didn't you just tell him the truth?"

"He wouldn't have left us alone.", Hook said like it was just as simple: "I didn't want to kill him, since Milah had asked me not to do it and this was the only way to send him away without fighting him."

"That's no excuse.", she said still not buying it: "He could have attacked you for killing her either. In that case you would have needed to fight him, too."

"But he didn't because he was never fighting for anything.", Hook said in a deciding way: "He had ran away from the war with the ogres and he hadn't taken her back with him the night before either even though his son had been waiting for both of them at home. He had been a fool, Emma."

"And what happened than?", she said after a moment of silence.

He started to clean his hook and she noticed that he had had to have sliced its tip again. That wasn't really encouraging her to finally trust him.

He sighed: "We had been traveling around for maybe three years when he suddenly bounced into me in another town. But than he hadn't simply been Rumplestiltskin anymore but the Dark One! He had fought with me after plaing his stupid little games with me. He used his powers to get my sword and didn't fight like a man."

"In other words he defeated you."

He didn't seem that happy with her choice of words: "He wanted to rip my heart out to get revenge on me for killing Milah when she suddenly appeared beside us asking him to let me go. She made a deal with him. We would give him the magic bean he had been seaking for if he would leave us alone for ever!"

"But he didn't right?", Emma said slowly. His eyes finally met hers again. They were so sad, that it was hard to stop herself of just hugging him and telling him everything would be fine again, even though she knew it was a lie.

He let his breath out again and looked down on his hook: "We met him again a day later. She had asked me to stay out of it. She had wanted to deal with him alone since she knew him better than I did and we both knew it could be important to know his weak points in this since he was the Dark One now.

In the beginning everything was almost fine. Well…As fine as it was able to be with their anger for each other."

"But that changed?", Emma asked slowly: "How?"

"It started when she shot me a look. She wanted to make sure that I would keep out of it. She wanted to make sure that I would concentrate on the bean in my left hand.", he looked down on the hook again like he was seeing the bean lying in his cut off hand again: "Than he had suddenly mentioned their son."

"They had started to argue?"

"He bound me to the next mast and ripped her heart out. She died in my arms while he kept squeezing her heart to dust in front of me. He was even laughing while he was doing it.", Hook stared at the hook like he was back there watching him killing her: "I commanded him to kill me as well. Instead he just cut my left hand off. I took this hook and ran it through his chest. It was useless. It was like he didn't have a heart. He told me I had to live with it just like he had had to before and vanished."

Emma looked down on her hands: "And you swore to get revenge on him."

He suddenly looked at her again like he had just noticed that she was still there with him: "It's not that hard to understand, is it? The moment I became "Hook"?"

No it wasn't. But his reasons today didn't seem to be the same ones he had had back than. She was sure that deep inside of him his wounds were already closed again. Not healed but closed.

He took out a frisk of his jacket, opened it and drank a large sip of it. Than he held it out to her. She stared at it. She frowned. Did she really want to do that? She wasn't really sure. Actually she didn't really want to.

"Come on.", he said somehow exhausted: "It's just rum."

She took it and sniffed at it. It smelled strange.

"You really don't trust me, do you?", he almost laughed at her: "It's just rum, I promise!"

"Self made?"

"Maybe.", he said a trash smile appearing on his lips.

Emma stopped breathing for a moment when she took a sip. It was burning like hell while it ran down her neck. Wow.

"What about you?", he asked smiling when he noticed her expression.

"You won't give me the chance to say something about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Will you do that?"

"For sure not."

"That's your answer."

Emma smiled and gave his flisk back to him: "And since that time you have been chasing him around?"

"Yes.", he simply said: "I went to Neverland where no one ever grows older to spare time to finally find a way to kill him."

Emma frowned and stared at him: "How old are you?"

"Old."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the only one you'll get."

"Disappointing."

"What about you?", he watched her carefully: "And don't even think about breaking our deal again!"

She gave him a hurt expression: "I didn't do that."

"Than start."

Emma sighed: "I don't understand why you would like to hear that so badly, but okay."

She kept thinking for a moment before she grabbed his flisk again and took a deep sip. Hook laughed.

His eyes focused on the front door all of a sudden: "How did you get in here if you didn't use one of those keys, by the way?"

Emma couldn't help but to sound a little proud of herself: "I don't need a key."

"The door isn't even damaged."

She looked down on her fingers, a little smile on her lips: "If you know how it works, it's really simple."

"Where did you learn that?", he frowned. He really was impressed. When he had broken in somewhere he had always left tracks with his hook and the locks in this world were definetely more complicated than in the enchanted forest.

Emma stared at the ceilling for a moment: "When I was….sixteen? Seventeen? I can't really remember. It's been too long."

He had frozen when she had said "sixteen". He had remembered what Smee had showed him as a ghost in Wonderland. Hook frowned. This was not the time to think about it!

"It started with stealing little things I guess. After a while I was even able to steal cars.", she stopped and held her breath before she suddenly became more seriously: "Or at least I had thought I would be able to steal cars."

"What does that mean?"

She sighed: "I wanted to steal the car I'm driving now, when I met Neal. He already had stolen it before and used it to sleep in it. I was already driving, when he suddenly showed up behind me. He saved me from the police and we got friends somehow. After a week it was more than that. We kept stealing what we needed to survive and for fun…"

Hook laughed: "You? You of all people?"

Emma shot him a glare: "Yes."

"What happened than?"

"There were pictures of him hanging everywhere all of a sudden just when we wanted to leave the town. He had been fotographed when he had stolen a bunch of very expensive watches before we had met. I help him to get them from where he had been hiding them and I really believed he wanted to be with me.", she bit her bottom lip and a hurt expression appeared on her face. But it was definetely easier to talk about it since she had taken care of her issues with Neal: "We wanted to meet again later on to make sure that no one was watching us. He gave me one of the watches so we would remember it.

I can't even remember how I'd spent this day. Well…I kept waiting for him for almost an hour or maybe it was even longer…I can't remember anymore. Anyway suddenly there was this police officer pointing his gun at me.", she stopped again and looked down on her hands. It seemed like she was able to see the watch again on her arm.

Hook frowned expecting the worst.

"He told me he had been send by someone who hadn't want to reveal his name. He said I had been accused to have stolen the watches. And his proofe was bound around my arm.", Emma stared into a far distance. It seemed like there was a time only she could see.

"He had betrayed you.", Hook sighed: "Did he know that you were pregnant?"

"I didn't even know it myself.", she finally met his eyes again and he needed a moment to get used to the pain in her eyes: "I found out when I had gotten imprissoned for eleven years."

"Why did you give the kid away?", he had now idea what a real prison was like in this world since he had never been in one. It had to be different of her little office since she had been there for eleven years.

She looked at him like it was pretty clear: "I was a thief. I was an imprissoned thief who had been betrayed by the kids father. I thought there was no way that I could give him a chance to live a normal life ever. I wanted to give him his best chance and I was sure it wouldn't be with me. And on top of that a prison isn't the right place for a baby."

"Have you loved him?", Hook asked slowly: "Neal?"

She frowned: "I did. But it would have been short lifed even if August hadn't shown up to tell him to leave me behind."

"What?", he wasn't able to fallow anymore.

"I found out about it, when I found Neal again.", she said slowly: "August…Pinocchio had found him and asked him to leave me. He explained to him that I had to do something big here and that the only way for me to finally achieve it was to redeem myself. So he had to leave me and to betray me."

Hook made a disbelievingly sound. He seemed angry: "That's not a reason to leave!"

"What?"

He leaned forward looking honestly in her eyes: "Look. I would have done anything to be with Milah. I even wanted to follow her into death. So I can't understand someone who just leaves the woman he loves because someone showes up telling him of a huge duty or something like that. It's no excuse for what he did to you!

He could have stayed with you, trying to stop beeing a thief together with you. He even could have brought you here himself after that. But no, he just left you."

Emma stared at him. It was excactly what she had thought about it either. It was strange to hear it from another person now.

Hook sighed: "Now I can almost understand that you don't trust just anybody you think you could. But it still doesn't explain to me, why you left me behind with the giant even though you were trusting me."

"Why are you so sure that I did trust you?"

"Like I said, Emma. Open book."

She leaned back and sighed: "You were reminding me of him, I guess."

"What?", he said confused: "We have nothing in common!"

"You think you don't.", she said almost laughing now.

He suddenly rounded the table between them and knealed down in front of her grabing her hand and getting as close as there wasn't left any space for the imagination anymore that he wasn't looking into her eyes: "I'm not a person who just leaves behind what is most important to him. I would have stayed just like I wouldn't have betrayed you up that beanstalk! And I would have been honest with you even if it would have killed me!"

They were staring at each other for a long moment. No one was saying anything. She didn't know what and was afraid to anger him more after this little break out and he was just confused of his actions.

He stood up again, grabed his flisk and drank while he sat back on the couch again.

Emma was still staring at the place he had just been maybe a second ago. She was paralyzed. She was checking the locks of the box inside her head again where she was putting all these things, but the box seemed to small to keep this moment just now.

She decided to take care of it later on and let out the breath she had been holding in without even noticing it: "Are you satisfied now?"

Hook still frowned and kept staring at the table in front of him. He needed a moment to snap out of it again: "There is only one thing left…If you don't trust me, why do you care so much for me not getting my revenge?"

She met his eyes a little surprised.

"Well, I'm just a useless saviour after all.", she said sarcastically reminding him of his words at Rumplestiltskin's cell.

He bit his bottom lip: "I wanted to hurt you back than, that's all."

"I know. But you really meant it.", she watched him carefully.

"Because I was disappointed after you had betrayed me.", Hook said closing the flisk and putting it back into his jacket: "But there wasn't any truth in those words. You are usefull."

Emma almost laughed: "Am I?"

"Yes."

Their eyes met again and she wanted to get out of there just as fast as possible since she didn't know where to put anymore thoughts if her little box wasn't even able to keep this little memory about what he had done just a moment earlier.

She suddenly stood up taking on her jacket again: "It's already late. Since we are done now, I'll just go."

He moved like a cat watching a mouse but stayed sitting on the couch. He leaned forward and waited to get in eyecontact with her again: "You are running away again."

She stopped for not even a second and maybe he wouldn't have even noticed it if he hadn't been watching her in these moment: "Why would I do that?"

"I guess you already know the answer."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Emma frowned staring down on him for a moment.

He leaned back and changed his expression: "How on earth did you beat Cora back in the enchanted forest? When I finally woke up again I'd thought you guys would be there without her. I would never have imagined to see her lying there unconscious instead."

Emma remembered something he could tell when he saw this little smile appear on her lips. It was like she had successfully stolen something: "That's a long story and I don't have time anymore now. Sorry."

"You don't want to tell me, right?", he slowly stood up and got his jacket as well.

"No."

"And you know that this is like a challenge for me?"

She met his eyes for a second slightly surprised. She remembered what he had told her while climbing that beanstalk as well.

"Do I?"

"Definetely.", he said with a deep voice following her to the exit: "And I love a challenge."


	26. Chapter 26

**Part twenty-six, or how to survive beeing confronted with pain again**

Hook was actually whistling when he entered his beloved Jolly Roger again. He was feeling as light as he hadn't done for maybe a century. No, he knew it exactly. He hadn't felt like that since Milah had died. It was incredible and frightening at the same time. Strange!

He sighed but couldn't stop smiling when he entered his cabin again. He threw his jacket on a cupboard and strolled over to his chair. He sat down still thinking of his little conversation with Emma. She was…well…she had revealed what had been worrying him a lot.

Now he felt like she hadn't just given him a challenge about finding out how she had bested Cora of all people but also one about proving that he would be worth her trust! And that he would be more worth it, than anyone else!

Hook frowned. Milah was wrong! He would be able to get both if he wanted to. He would be able to get his revenge on Rumplestiltskin and to get Emma. He couldn't really say for shure why he wanted to get Emma, but one thing was clear. He would always choose his revenge over a challenge even if it came from Emma. He would always choose Milah over Emma!

"Why are you smiling that much?"

He winzed and looked up to her: "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to… I don't really know.", she frowned standing in the door to his cabin: "I was actually on my way home but suddenly I wasn't sure anymore that I wanted to go home."

He frowned while watching her around in his cabin carefully.

"So, why are you smiling that much?", she asked again looking down on the frame with Milah's painting.

He slowly stood up: "I just had an idea of how I could get you to tell me how you bet Cora."

She met his eyes: "Liar."

"How did you do that?", he stepped closer until he was able to feel the warmth of her right arm in front of him.

She turned around to him shoring herself with her left hand on his cupboard while crossing her ankels: "Why would I tell you?"

"Hm…", he let his right hand wander up her left arm slowly while she was watching it for a moment: "Maybe because I'm such a charming good looking pirate?"

She opened her mouth a little while narrowing her eyes: "Are you?"

Hook leaned in to her and whispered right over her mouth: "Do you need a proof?"

"Actually yes.", she said coldly all of a sudden and grabbed him with her right hand in his neck. She pulled him around and pushed him into the next wall.

But he didn't even feel himself hitting the wall. It didn't hurt just like her grib didn't hurt even a little bit. He couldn't even feel her hand anymore.

Hook frowned standing in a complete darkness. He couldn't even see his hook anymore. There was nothing.

"Hello?", he asked carefully and tried to make a step forward but he didn't even know if he was moving through this darkness.

Suddenly a little light appeared in front of him. It was small like a candle shining in the distance. He slit his eyes close and tried to see something in this little light. It was impossible. The only thing he noticed was, the movement of the light. It was showing up and disappearing again. It was flickering in the dark like the heartbeat in his chest.

He closed his eyes for a second while trying to make another step forward. It was impossible. His other sences stretched and he suddenly felt that he wasn't able to move. Something was stuck at his ankels. Something sticky and stretchy. He felt adrenaline pumping through his veins.

Hook opened his eyes again. The light was shining steady now but it was still to small to cause enough light to make him see something.

Hook sighed. This was annoying. One moment he had been building up a situation where he could kiss Emma or maybe even do something more and in the next he was stuck in the middle of nowhere unable to see anything! And now he really had wanted Emma! It hadn't only been a game to get answers she refused to give him. That would have been a little extra on his night with her.

He rolled his eyes when he noticed that the light was getting nearer very slowly.

The answers could have been usefull in his wish for revenge so maybe it would have been about using her if he was honest with himself. But it wouldn't have meant that he wouldn't have enjoyed it lass.

He frowned again. The light definitely was coming closer. It was even so bright now, that he had to shield his eyes from it. There were contours appearing around it. It was Emma.

The light was coming right from her heart illuminating the rest of her. Her hair were falling in beautiful curls down to her shoulders and she was dressed completely in white.

His heartbeat accelerated and almost at the same time her hair started shining as well. He stared at her with his mouth opened. He didn't even notice that.

"Emma?", he whispered carefully.

She stopped in front of him and the light she was spreading everywhere was blinding him like hell. His eyes started to hurt of it and it suddenly got easier to bear. Her dress was white as snow and it kept reflecting the light.

She was so gorgeous!

"What is going on here?", he whispered again unable to close his eyes even for a blink because he was afraid she might disappear again.

She didn't answer him but only kept looking at him with her big eyes. It was like she was somehow blaming him for something.

"Emma, what is going on?", Hook said: "Why aren't you saying anything? Where are we? What is going on here? It's almost like this was some ghost stuff again."

She kept looking at him the way she had before. But if he was thinking about it now, she wasn't blaming him at al. It was just his guilty conscience telling him so. Actually she was just looking at him without any feeling, without any personality. It was like she was just the wrapping without herself inside.

She lifted her right arm moving a part of her dress along with it and threw these part of her dress over him. When she took it back again, he was finally able to move again. She turned around without saying anything and walked ahead. He followed her beeing suddenly sure that this was some ghost stuff again.

They were slowly leaving the darkness behind again and entered a forest. He couldn't understand anything of this, since she wasn't talking with him. They walked between the trees until they left the forest behind as well. They reached a cliff.

"Is this the future?", he asked suddenly remembering what the other ghosts had told him. The other ones had been dealing with his past and his present. So the logical conclusion now was, that this was about his future.

Like always she didn't answer him. There was a stone at the edge of the cliff. Emma stopped and waited. When he didn't move she turned around to look at him while pointing at the stone with her right hand.

"You want me to look at that?", he frowned and stepped forward. He gave her a last look, before he looked down on the stone and jumped back. His whole body seemed to be hurting starting with his heart. On the stone was Emma's name written.

He looked back at her, but she was gone.

"This is, what your future will be about.", Milah suddenly said from behind him. He turned around and looked at her in pain.

She smiled sadly at him: "I know it hurts. But you will face this again."

Something behind his back was moving again. He turned on his heels and was face to face with himself all of a sudden. He was still looking like he was now but his skin was different. It was somehow leathery.

Hook frowned: "How did that happen?"

Milah laid her hand on his right underarm: "Come on. I'll show you."


	27. Chapter 27

**Part twenty-seven, or how to survive a world without true love**

Milah led him through the forest again: "It won't be enough to just show you, since you are still able to prefer your revenge over what you feel. You have noticed it since you have been with Emma in these library. I let Emma temptate you before we got you here and your reaction made it clear. We need to do something more impressive to make you finally open your eyes, honey."

She sounded like she was sad and feeling sorry for him: "It will hurt you deeply. And you might never forget this."

She suddenly turned around to him and pushed him back.

He opened his eyes. He was lying in a soft bed. His bed on his Jolly Roger. He was feeling as well like he couldn't even remember he had done the last time. He was recovered and happy from deep within his heart.

A warm breath reached his neck. Someone was lying on his chest. He looked to the side and winzed. It was Emma. She was snuggeling up to him still sleeping deeply. A smile played on her lips. His heart seemed to be about to overflow out of happyness.

She sighed in her sleep and the smile grew bigger: "Morning." It was just a whisper and she hadn't even opened her eyes but he was able to feel it down to his toes. He pulled her even closer into a hug and kissed her forehead: "Morning."

She opened her eyes to meet his gaze: "Who long have you been awake now?"

"Just a moment.", he couldn't help but look at every single structure of her face. He didn't want to ever forget anything of it: "Have you slept well?"

She smiled openly with shining eyes: "Yes.", she caressed his cheek with her right hand: "Since you were here there hadn't been even a single night with nightmares, Killian."

His heart stopped for a moment. He wasn't able to breath or to think. She had just called him Killian! And now she was leaning further into him to kiss him. What kind of world was this? It was amazing! He wanted to live like this one day. And he knew he would do it one day!

He kissed her and it felt like there was nothing else in the world that could ever be more important to him than this. He couldn't stop himself from deepening the kiss even more even if he had wanted to do it. It was sending chills down his body untill he felt like he was electrified completely. He pushed her back on her back softly wrapped his left arm as far around her waist as possible. His hook was gone. Their legs were entangeling and she sighed into his kiss. A smile appeared on her lips and she giggled softly at his lips: "Killian, I need to get up now."

"I don't care.", he growled amused and gave her a short softly kiss on her lips again. He wanted to make her open out again. She growled disappointed and pushed her lips at his, kissing him deeply till he wasn't able to remember to breathe. She pushed him on his back again and sat up on top of him without breaking the kiss. His right hand went up her back under her shirt, when she slowly leaned back again.

She smiled like she was about to steal something really prescious from while taking his hand off her back: "Killian, I really need to go." Before he was able to do anything she jumped off of him and went through his cabin. She was wearing very short pants. He liked it.

"Where are you going?", he sat up and searched for his hook.

"First of all, I'll just go home. I need to change. And than I'll go to my office.", she said coming out of a corner dressed up again completely. She smiled at him: "And what are you going to do?"

Hook frowned for a moment staring at her. "I've got something to do with Smee.", he placed his Hook back where it belonged.

Emma sighed and seemed worried: "Killian, you won't do something reckless, will you?"

He stood up and placed her face between his hand and his hook carefully: "Don't worry, love. Everything will be fine!" He kissed her again.

She hugged him back and frowned: "I trust you." And he froze knowing that she knew he had lied to her. She kissed him and left the ship.

Hook waited till he was sure that she really had left, before he hurried to the cupboard in front of his mirror and opened it. There was the picture of Milah. He got it out and looked at it: "Today I'll finally reach my revenge. I'll finally avenge your death!" He placed the frame carefully on top of the cupboard and got something else out. It was long and thin. It was coverd in a scarf he had placed around it before.

He put it into his jacket and left the Jolly Roger.

He couldn't deny that he was slightly nervous. But he was willing to do everything necessary even if it meant to give his own life for it. Emma would learn to live with it one day. She would be sad at first but he knew that she would finally understand it. She would become happy one day again. He knew she would! He was even sure that she would be happier without him in the end!

He entered the forest and walked through it until he reached a cliff. He stood there for a moment and watched the waves.

Emma knew he was lying to her. Her heart was about to break. He would do something reckless again and she needed to stop him. There was no other way. He had been too silent lately. He had been thinking to much lately.

There had even been moments, when he hadn't answered her even though they had been having a conversation a second before. He kept hiding something that he didn't want her to see. It was frigthening her to the bones. She had been hoping so much that he would finally open up to her. But he didn't! So she was almost sure it had something to do with his stupid revenge even though he had promised her to finally let it go. He had even taken Milah's picture away. She hadn't wanted it, since she had known how important it was for him. But it had only been an act. He had lied to her back than and she hadn't noticed because she loved him. She loved him more than her own life.

That was reason enough for her to stop him. She didn't want him to become someone he wasn't! Emma had found out that the only way to kill Rumplestiltskin was, to take his place and there was no way she would ever let him do that!

"I trust you!", she said looking straight into his eyes. She knew that he was getting the message in between. She knew he was understanding her.

When she left him alone again, she was almost about to cry. The most important person in her life and Henry maybe was the only excaption of this, was about to risk his own life. She would loose him, because she somehow knew, that he would be successful.

She left the Jolly and waited in the woods. It took him a while to leave. It felt like hours.

She followed him into the forest always making sure, that he wouldn't notice her.

She stayed behind waiting for something to happen, when he left the forest again and stopped at the cliff. He was holding something in his hand she hadn't ever noticed before. It was looking like a knife.

Cold shivers were running down her back and she had to fight the tears bracking through. She knew what kind of knife he was holding. It was the Dark One's.

Hook turned his back on the sea and held out the knife in front of him. The scarf hiding the knife was disappearing with the wind behind him. He was still holding back. He wasn't sure if he wanted to do this.

It was strange. He had always been fighting to achieve his revenge in the end and now that it was time for it, he was hesitating. He almost laughed. It was rediculous. He was just about to get what he always wanted on top of what he loved the most in this world and he was hesitating? Seriously?

He shook his head and sighed. It was time now. After this he would definitely be free! Free to be with Emma. Free to get used to her son and her family and to finally stop his problems with David.

He held it up more decidingly and called his name: "Rumplestiltskin! Come here! I command you to do it!"

Something behind his back started to move. He turned on his heels in a hurry and looked around. There was nothing. Hook looked down on the knife with Rumpelstiltskin's name written on it. Had he done something wrong? Was that possible?

"What?"

He winzed and turned around again. Rumplestiltskin was standing between the trees.

"Come out of there!", Hook commanded.

"Just like always. The little pirate captain is commanding again.", he said bored: "Why did you call for me?"

"Why would you come if I call you?"

"Good question. Maybe I'm curious?"

"No.", Hook said slowly: "No you are not. You have no choice that's all!"

"And why wouldn't I?"

"You know why.", Hook held out his right hand.

Emma couldn't watch this. They started to fight over this stupid knife!

Hook got Gold's stocking with his hook and waved it out in the ocean, before he was about to ran the knife through is chest!

He hit the chest and an implosion pulled at his clothes. He looked back at his right hand he was holding the knife with and froze.

It felt like the world had stopped to move. He wasn't even breathing and he wasn't able to feel even a single heartbeat. He wasn't able to see or feel anything. The world was black and lost for him. There was nothing he wanted to fight for anymore. Nothing he wanted to praise anymore. Everything was unimportant.

He wasn't even able to cry. He was unable to move frozen in shock and loss. He let go of the knife and fell to his knees to to catch her. She was gone. Nothing was left. And it seemed like she had taken every single bit of the true love with her. Love had died with her. She wasn't moving anymore. No breath and no word escaped her lips anymore. He got even lass than when Milah had died. There was just a single tear escaping her right eye.

Rumplestiltskin had fallen to his knees as well. He was starring at the ground before his gaze met his hands. He screamed.

Hook finally felt something again. It was rage! He got the kife carefully out of her chest and placed her on the ground like she was the most prescious thing in the world to him and he knew he had just lost it.

He stood up, walked over to Rumplestiltskin, grabbed his jacket with his hook and pulled him up till they were facing each other.

"You've killed her!", he laughed while tears were running down his cheeks: "You have killed the person you loved. And you have destroyed all of our hopes to ever get the happy ending back!"

He didn't care that he was angry and ran the knife right through his heart.

The knife fell to the ground beside Rumplestiltskin's dead body and Hook looked out to the sea without seeing anything. There was nothing left but emptyness.

Suddenly his body started to hurt and he fell to his knees as. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned forward as far as possible. The pain ran up and down his body till he was unable to see anything anymore. He fell to the side and breathed hard.

When he got up again, he noticed the knife on the ground. There wasn't written Rumplestiltskin anymore but Hook. He froze.

He had lost everything and was bound to life a live that was excactly like Rumpelstiltskin's. He wasn't better than he had ever been. He had killed the one person he had really loved since Milah's death and now he was the Dark One himself. He felt the power running through his veins and felt like he was dying at the same time. He had lost what had been the only truly important thing in his life. Emma!


	28. Chapter 28

**Part twenty-eight: where is love there is hope!**

He was grieving. There was nothing left for him. Nothing he could ever use to overcome this because there was no hope and no happyness left for him. He was kneeling on the ground hiding his frightened gaze behind his hand his hook knocked in the ground in front of him.

Someone layed a hand on his right shoulder and pressed it softly. He didn't give it any attention. It was like he was frozen in time. Nothing was catching his attention and unimportant what he did, he always saw Emma's dead face. It was like it was burned into the back of his eyes. It was engraved into his head and into his heart!

"Killian.", Milah said softly behind him: "Stand up."

When he didn't react, she took his right arm and pulled him up carefully: "Come on. We've got to go again. You have seen what you needed to see.

"What do you mean?", he whispered paralyzed.

"You have seen what will happen, if you follow the path you have choosen to walk on.", she said slowly and got his hand off his eyes. The cliff was gone. Everything was black again.

Killian frowned: "What does that mean?"

Milah took his hand into hers and smiled a little bit: "That means, that this was just one possible future."

"So I could still achieve my revenge?", he said slowly. But his revenge had lost its charm.

"No.", Milah said decidedly: "No. If you keep walking that line, this is what will definitely happen. You have no choice in this."

"But you just said-"

"You have a choice. But this choice is about keeping to chase your revenge or giving finally up on it.", she tried to pull him along, but he refused to follow her.

"If this is only one possible future, than what will be the others like?", he waited till she focused on him again and locked her gaze in his.

He needed to know it. He needed to have something he could fight for. It wouldn't be enough to fight for something to never make it happen. He needed to know what his goal would be, if he would leave his revenge behind. And he was sure to do that!

Milah sighed: "There are to many possibilities, Killian. I can't you show everything.

"But I do need something to fight for."

"What about your love for Emma. Isn't that enough to fight for?"

He gave it a thought: "Yes. But that's only the goal. I need to know what it will be like. And you can show me!"

"That wasn't part of the plan, you know.", she said slowly: "But fine!" Milah closed her eyes and a bright light was shining into his face. It was even reaching his heart. It was warm and bright and it almost caused him to cry. It was like he was coming home, like he would never be alone again. It was hope! It was happyness and it was lust!

The light disappeared again slowly and he was standing in the darkness again.

"What was that?", he whispered unable to close his eyes again.

Milah was gone but her voice was echoing in the darkness: "That is what you could find, if you finally leave your revenge behind."

A light was shining in the darkness again. He didn't need to wait for it. He walked towards it and was finally face to face with Emma again. Emma in her white dress and with her blonde shining curls. She smiled at him.

"You will have a lot of work to achieve, what I just showed you.", Milah's voice whispered: "Goodbye Killian."

He kept looking into her eyes. But instead of before it seemed empty and sad. He would need to finally awaker her, he knew it. He stepped closer, but she just turned around and walked ahead again.

Killian followed her almost running: "Why aren't you talking with me?"

He waited stumbeling over something lying to his feed. He wouldn't even have cared about what it was, if he had been able to see something.

"Emma, talk with me.", he reached her and grabbed her left arm to swing her around: "Or at least look at me."

She turned around. But what what he saw had nothing to do Emma anymore. It was a skull but its bones builded a grimace of fear. The wholes where the eyes were usually placed were shining red and her hair was dirty and wet.

He cringed and made a step back to bring enough distance between this thing. It was looking like a body of a person who had died in the water.

It jumped at him with open arms and he stumbled back further and fell.

Emma sighed. It was christmas but she had to go back to the office because she had forgotten Henry's present. She sighed again. She couldn't even imagine why she had done that. This morning she had thought she would have brought it with her the last afternoon, but it seemed like she had forgotten it because of this stupid conversation she had had with Hook.

It was still spinning around in her head.

She would have never imagened that she would feel sorry for him one day. But it was pretty clear. Rumpelstiltskin hadn't just gotten his revenge on Milah for betraying him and leaving him with their son behind but on top of that he had gotten revenge on Hook. Hook who had told him that his wife was dead. Hook who had made him go back home to tell his son, the person he loved more than anything in the world, that his mother was gone and that she would never come back.

Rumpelstiltskin had returned it. He had killed Milah and he had left Hook behind to live with it. It didn't make it any better but it made it plausible.

She looked to the ground and sighed. There was something growing inside of her chest she didn't want to be there! It was a bad idea but it was an idea of her heart and not of her head. She had no controle of it. The only thing she would be able to do was to avoid him. If she would do that long enough this feelings would disappear again. It wasn't much anyway. And she would never let it grow bigger!

She stopped when she noticed a pair of boots right in front of her. Emma slowly looked up to the person wearing them. She knew it before she even noticed his hook. It was pretty clear that it was him since he was the only one in town still wearing the clothes of the enchanted forest.

Hadn't she just thought that she wanted to avoid him? That was not avoiding him!

"What?", she asked even before she reached his eyes. They were different somehow. His whole behaviour was different.

"I just wanted to tell you something."

"And what?", she frowned as he held out his right hand to him.

"Take it.", he said and let something fall into her hand. It was a ball of paper.

"What is that?", Emma looked down at the ball and started to open it slowly. It wasn't that easy since he had made it so tough. He didn't answer her but she knew, that he was watching her. She was able to feel his gaze on her every move.

It was a card. It was the card of the tunnel system in Storybrook. Emma looked up to him again a little confused: "Why?"

He seemed to concentrate on his breathing for a moment before he finally answered. It wasn't easy for him: "I thought I could give you something for christmas."

She hissed her eyebrows: "Well….thanks…" She frowned again.

He shook his head and seemed disappointed with himself for a moment: "No. Not the card."

"What than?", she asked watching him closely. Had he become insane now?

He took her hand and looked seriously into her eyes: "It's a promise."

Hook seemed so honest and serious that she didn't even dare to look away. She felt like beeing hypnotized by him. It was strange.

"I promise you, that will forget my revenge on Rumplestiltskin for you.", his voice wasn't louder than a whisper and it was very deep.

"What?", she asked slowly: "Why for me?"

He stepped closer: "You want to know it?"

"Would be good."

He took another step closer.

That was strange. She frowned again but before she could do something he pulled her close and kissed her. He just kissed. Emma was lying in his arms and stared at him for a moment unwilling to give in to him until she finally gave up and kissed him back. It was strange. It felt like her hole body was electrefied. He was only touching her lips but she was able to feel it everywhere. His right hand was lying at her cheek while his left arm was carefully pulling her into him. But she was able to feel his kiss even in her toes. She felt warm and save and loved. Her heart seemed to burn.

He stopped the kiss to breathe again. There was a bright light coming from her heart just like the one he had seen in his little dream. Emma frowned and stepped back.

She was frightened. He could see it in her eyes. She kept staring at him without saying even a single word.

He was still holding her hand when they suddenly noticed a snowflake falling down. He decided that she would need more time. And he knew he would give her these time. But he also knew, that she would be his one day just like he would be hers. There was no need to hurry anything. He loved her and he would never stop loving her. He would do anything to finally spent his life with her. They would both feel these warmth and hope he had been feeling when Milah had given him the opportunity to feel their future. He already was able to see himself lying in the bed hugging her in her sleep and watching her until she would finally wake up and smile at him. That was all he would ever want. But for now he would just cherish these little kiss he had stolen from her lips.

Killian smiled let go of her hand and stepped back to give her enough space: "Mary Christmas, love."

Emma kept even staring at him, when he was leaving. Her head was telling her, that it was good, that he was leaving.

But her heart was shouting for her to keep on kissing him. The future would be even more complicated. She turned around again. Henry's present was completely forgotten. She watched the snowflakes falling down around her and couldn't help but smile.

This definitely was a mery christmas.

**THE END**

-Thank you for all those nice comments. I hope you enjoyed it a lot! I wish a merry christmas for everyone and a lot more scene between Emma and Hook. :-) And if I won't have the opportunity anymore...have a happy new year!


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